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Parenting

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Am I wrong to set firmer boundaries with our neighbour's child?

4 replies

Member123467890 · 24/05/2026 16:38

For context we moved into our house 4 years ago. The neighbours had the a son the same age as our and they went to nursery together. They became fast friends. They’re now at the same school. I feel like the neighbours kid is obsessed with our son. Both kids are 5.

Every time we step into the garden he will shout for my son/at our family. His parents are great but you can tell their son is an add on to their family, rather than part of the family. They often leave him to his own devices which means we accidentally look after him. I once had to run to their house because their son was in the garden by himself standing on stacked up chairs so he could talk to my son over the fence. My son has started to say it bothers him sometimes and I think he’s picking up on the fact that we feel we can’t go in the garden without being bothered.

Another thing that happens is that the neighbours kid will run to our door and try and kick it down to get our son to come see him. He’s left 4-5 scuff marks on our door which I can’t get out. Sometimes my son isn’t even home. When I look out the window his parents are a good 100m away down the road. I’ve never heard them ask him not to kick the door.

If we pull in the drive he’ll often run out (even if we’re with family or have been out all day) and try and get my son to go into his house with them. I feel torn because my son does want to go and play. If we’re leaving he’ll sometimes try and get in our car so we can’t drive off. If the kids are playing outside his parents will often leave and go back into their house leaving us to look after him but also means we can’t actually go in if our kids need to loo or want to watch TV.

We have two little boys and I feel like the neighbours really interrupt when our boys are playing really nicely together.

Today, we got home from a day at the beach. We were all exhausted. I opened the back door to put the beach things in the garden and he immediately started shouting our son’s name. I asked him to stop shouting. His dad said “yeah stop shouting because it’s too loud”. I think it’s totally gone over the dad’s head that we don’t want to be yelled at multiple times a day. It’s not the volume, it’s the constant hounding.

We are moving (40% of the reason is because we feel under siege from this kid) but I’m feeling guilty/ bad for essentially trying to correct this kids behaviour. AITA?

OP posts:
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hattie43 · 24/05/2026 16:46

Tbh your problem is the disinterested parents . It sounds like the little boy is desperate for contact with someone .

Member123467890 · 24/05/2026 17:02

hattie43 · 24/05/2026 16:46

Tbh your problem is the disinterested parents . It sounds like the little boy is desperate for contact with someone .

Yes, absolutely! I think that and very poor boundaries.

OP posts:
VanillaIceIceBaby · 24/05/2026 17:07

One of my friends has an open and closed sign in her window for just this purpose. She says it works.

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tripleginandtonic · 24/05/2026 17:10

Thats what kids his age do, its not necessarily due to disinterested parents. They want to play with kids their age.

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