I have spent many years playing very nice with my ex who against all initial expectations has been very present to our DS and reliable over the years with various things.
Being the product of very hostile divorced parents, I didn't want that for my son and have tried to put previous aside disagreements and have maybe picked my battles and sometimes swallowed things where maybe I shouldn't have.
All good, we get on very well superficially and DS is well adjusted, doesn't remember us together, etc.
But .... I am hugely peri menopausal and am finding it more difficult to tolerate his idiocy and poor decisions especially when it affects my child.
Or am I making too big a deal of it?
DS is 15, in the midst of GCSE's yet whenever he's at his dad's, they are on excursions or trips with no opportunity to study. Even when they're at home. Instead of offering encouragement, he's getting them to watch whatever boxset they are on at the minute. Just feels like he wants to be his mate (or sabotage him) rather than supporting and encouraging him and I feel so frustrated by it!!
dS is really clever, did really well in mocks but I think now is not the time to coast or relax
How do I deal with this assertively but not damage 10 years of delicate dealings?!
(Exh does not take any kind of criticism well!)