HELP! Toddler waking really early all of a sudden

[GlitteringCBeams]

Hi everyone - our youngest will be 3 in September. We transitioned her out of her cot into her “big girl bed” a week ago as she was keen and seemed ready. We put a bed guard along the side and a childgate on her door to stop her leaving her room and falling down the stairs.

She used to be so easy to put to bed, but now it takes hours as she screams for cuddles and won’t let go of me (DH has no chance.) Also, she used to sleep until at least 7am, but recently she has started waking around 5am, standing at her door and yelling for us. How do we get her to sleep longer? She has black-out blinds, the temperature in her room is fine, she has everything she needs . . . but she shouts for cuddles.

i went away for a week for work and she’s been very clingy since I got back - should I continue to provide all the cuddles she wants in the hope it makes her secure again and things improve, or should we be disciplined and let her cry it out?

I’m so tired and confused 😣

Is she still napping?

Hit and miss, @Peonies12 - sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t. We always put her down, as does nursery, but if she refuses, then we go with it, as it’s about the age our other DD stopped napping.

Maybe there is a correlation between no-nap-days and especially difficult nights, though . . .

In the morning a gro clock could work well as it will tell her whether still night time or ok to get up for cuddles.

At bedtime I personally would go down the route of a secure routine- 1 story, 1 song, 5 minute cuddle or whatever you normally do and then I would say goodnight and pretty much leave her to it- maybe sort some laundry on the landing so she can feel reassured you’re still there but you’re occupied with something boring and don’t interact with her beyond repeating ‘it’s bedtime now night night’ in a boring voice. But bedtimes are very subjective! You don’t have to do that, but whatever you do just stay calm and consistent. I’m sure it will resolve itself, with hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to transition to a bed around the same time you were away for a week so I’d expect a longer than usual adjustment. But she will get there!

It’s a really big adjustment- changing to a big bed - make sure she has the same toys, blankets and sleep suit and eventually she will go back.

Sounds like going to bed and waking in a new environment is causing anxiety so make it cosy and warm talk it up - her bed is the best so much better than mummy’s-DURING THE DAY ( not at night ) and eventually she will love it

Thank you @Bitzeeand @PivotPivotmakingmargaritas- totally agree with both of you and I wouldn’t have chosen this time to move to the bigger bed, but she really wanted to and refuses to go in her cotbed now! So I don’t think it’s that but yes, she does have her same duvet/pillows/soft toys anyway. Her routine has always been the same and similar to what you describe - story, cuddles, saying goodnight to the world. Then “a kiss on the nose” and I leave the room. It’s always fine until that point - then she gets up and comes to her door, crying for cuddles.

Last night she woke crying for me twice, screaming at DH when he tried to settle her, but calming instantly when I went in.

i think I’ll have to just persevere with offering comfort and hopefully, eventually she’ll feel more secure.

I’m so tired though :-(

Moving to a bed is a big transition. Cots signal a lot of security and safety to toddlers and though she seemed ‘keen and ready’, toddlers obviously can’t know the consequences of removing their secure sleep space from them. This is why cot sleeping is recommended up to age 3 (and sometimes later)in the absence of a good reason to move them earlier.

You just have to get through the phase with reassurance and support, but not so much that you end up in a behaviour loop whereby she can’t stay in bed without excessive support from you. This often looks like taking them back to bed again and again and again (if they are getting out) with minimal engagement, or checking on them again and again and again, standing by door, standing outside of door if they are shouting for you – in a slow-removal method. Again, minimum engagement, no long conversations – tuck in, ‘you’re safe. We’re right here. Good night’ and leave.