Restricting an iPad

[treetop122]

Hello wise mums,

DD is 11 and in yr6 of primary school. She has an iPad and an iPod that she listens to music on.
we restrict use of these to an around an hour daily, a little extra at weekends. The iPad has adult content blocked with age appropriate content.
last weekend we noticed that the screen saver has changed and realised that she had accessed google. You can’t delete safari but we had hidden it in a folder, so it wasn’t obvious, and of course the restrictions were on the iPad.
I looked at the search history and she had searched sex. When I clicked on the searches, images of sex came up, it was initially blurred but if you clicked show image, it showed the image.
we had of course thought this access was totally blocked (and we tested it out at the time too).
We have spoken about it, she says she didn’t really see anything and we talked about why she searched it and why she shouldn’t search for it etc.

now my question is, how do I completely block all content like that?..
we have the iPad settings set and restrictions in place. What do I need to do to make it safe? DD hasn’t had the iPad since, I’m not going to give it to her until I know what to do as I thought iPad restrictions would be enough.

thank you

Why does she need an iPad?

Maybe she's getting curious about sex and how it all happens? I would ask her, gently, if she has anything she would like to know about.

She doesn’t need it. It’s just for downtime, she enjoys playing games and watching programmes.
We keep it pretty restricted, no Roblox and all iplayers/disney are age restricted.

we really thought we had it all nailed down.

What I am looking for is what apps or ways that others have restricted their children’s devices.
DD starts secondary school in September, she will get a phone at some point in the future. I need to know how to keep it safe. I thought the restrictions on the iPad were enough but they are not!

I don’t think there’s actually a way to do it. We tried for a long time and have ended up using an old computer instead (still a Mac) as this was easier to fix. We only allow use for schoolwork and games when supervised.

however searching sex is probably pretty normal. I read about it in books at that age.

look into smartphones with limited capabilities.

Yes this was the case. Friends were talking about it and she didn’t know, didn’t want to ask so she googled it.
Im pretty relaxed with the why she did it. Totally natural and she was curious. I’m sad she didn’t ask me and also I’m annoyed at myself because we haven’t had an official chat yet.

The question I am asking though.. is how do I keep the device that my child uses safe. I know there are things out there but it is confusing and I thought I had restricted it enough.

@treetop122 sorry I don't know. I had similar with my sons at that age too

I've got safari restricted on ours but it's very limiting as the kids need it for links from school apps we need to unrestrict temporarily.
Google has safe search settings.

The crazy thing is, I followed all the instructions to restrict the device. Just through the screen time part of the settings.
I could access photos of porn, pretty graphic. And some short videos of hardcore porn. How can this show up when it’s restricted? All restrictions you can put on an iPad through the settings are in place.

Look under Screen Time in the iPad settings.

X post there. Is safari entirely blocked?

Yeah we blocked all sites when we first set it up. Maybe we need to take a look at this again.

Cut it off from the wi-fi and just let her play/watch pre-downloaded content.

But, realistically, long term your only hope is teaching your DD to use tech wisely. I'd worry a bit less about what lockdown methods you can use and how you can talk to your DD about safe usage. That's the only way to safeguard her.

iOS Screen Time restrictions are better than they used to be, but they're not foolproof—especially with a motivated 11yo. We've been there.

The gap you hit: Safari can't be fully removed, only hidden, and "Web Content" filters (even set to "Limit Adult Websites") still allow Google image previews through. The blur/click workaround your DD found is a known loophole.

We tested this exact scenario with three tools before landing on our current setup:

Google Family Link — free, but iOS support is weaker than Android. Couldn't block Safari properly, just monitored it.

Qustodio — good content filtering, but the iOS version was noticeably less granular than Android. Also price jumped after year one.

Bark — excellent for social monitoring, but overkill for an 11yo who just needs search/app control. Felt invasive.

AirDroid — what we use now. The iOS version actually lets you disable Safari entirely (not just hide it), and it alerts you when she searches or views flagged content in any browser.

For your situation: disable Safari completely, install a filtered browser, and set "Allowed Apps Only" so she can't reinstall via App Store.

The conversation you already had with DD is the most important part though. Tech supports the agreement, it doesn't replace it.

Can you afford to change away from apple products? In my experience they are far less effectively locked down. Also tablets in general are less flexible for restrictions than computers.

I personally would (and am with my son) keep them to a desktop that is positioned in a communal room... 1990s/early 2000s style. That way its much easier for you to see what she is doing rather than her being able to take it away or face a different direction, and on a PC you will have full customizability and the ability to entirely restrict everything you want.

(Of course, later on, if she becomes very tech capable, she will still be able to find ways around it.. but that is true for almost all platforms).

Think of it as a kind of good thing though - you know that she now needs a talk about this sort of thing, so it sort of worked out well that you can now help her directly and you found it out before she went "too far" down online pathways.

Use guided access. You can set a password to unlock / lock guided access. So you lock the screen to exactly what she CAN access. Use it at school with students so they can only do their required work and not mess around on other apps!

Do you have her set up as a family account that you manage? We have iPhones, not an iPad, but I would imagine it works the same as it’s just managing a child’s apple account.

She needs her own Apple ID and account and you manage it with your phone.

Maybe this is the way to go..
currently iPads or just extensions of my account.

Maybe I need to do something with the WiFi box too?

Thank you for all of your replies. I know it isn’t simple but there really should be a more simple way to lock down a device. We need to safeguard our children. It seems far too complicated.