How are others managing children's screen time over the summer holidays?

[CoolPearlCrab]

Summer break is yet to start, and I have a very clear idea that my kids' screen time will get out of control.
Because, most of my days are spent shouting and asking them to get their heads out of phones, YouTube, and games. Honestly it’s becoming really hard to get the kids interested in anything else. Their father sets some limits, but after he gets to work, they start fussing around and go right back to screens.
I am looking for a reliable solution that actually works for others. How are you managing screen time during summer break without fighting about it all day?
Honestly, I also just want some peace. I want my summer to pass calmly instead of spending the whole day getting exhausted dealing with them.

I think about it many tie, but as for the nathan, his father won't agree. Also I do take them to picnic once every month.

At those ages, easy, they don’t have access to phones, YouTube and gaming.

An 11 year old who is going to secondary school next year has limited access to a phone maybe an hour or so a day to arrange things with friends. But FaceTime and text only, no WhatsApp, no social media, no YouTube, very limited browsing.

Younger ones can watch normal tv. If we’re home, I put no restrictions on normal tv. They can watch unlimited series or films. No YouTube crap. Because it’s unlimited and I don’t make a fuss, they often play outside, read, build Lego, do whatever.

We go out for the middle part of the day. First thing in the morning and in the evening while I’m making dinner, they can watch whatever tv they want. Again, often by choice, they play outside. My 8 year old currently outside helping Dh dig raised beds in the garden. He could be watching hours of tv. But it’s no big deal and not something I make into a battle. That same series will be there tomorrow, so he chooses to do other things.

I think your best bet is a clear rule such as
No screens before 4pm.
Plus other clear rules such as
At least 1 hour outside exercise and
Do Something Constructive
that both have to be achieved before screens.

For good measure throw in Ask for screens early delays by 30mins and 'If you say you are bored I'll find you a job^

I used to have a summer chart where I wrote out planned activities and a list of other places we could go and things we could do which helped me with ideas.

I send my older one to a watersports holiday club. It’s exhausting (8 til 1.15 pm then lunch when home) I don’t mind screens for rest of day

The younger ones go to various whole-day holiday clubs from 9.30 to 3.30pm for three weeks; have holiday with me and dh for two weeks; visit (strict) grandparents for one week.

We often do an evening bike ride or swim after work. Weekends we do hikes or climbing.

So there will be lots of screen time but fitting it round activities.

Got half term to get through first!

Back in the 1990s my friend used to take the TV set (still old style so quite bulky), and put it up in the attic as soon as school holiday started. Her kids grew up not associating the summer holiday with TV time. Now with her grand children there are no screens during the day. They are either out doing activities or clubs, away on camps with church or Scouts. Each summer she does a project to make something with the children that can be progressed on any wet or really cold days. Her grand children really do love staying with her and even the 14 year old can be kept from his phone for pretty long periods. It can be done but it does take effort.

Take them out?

Mine are 8 and 6 so granted may be different for the 11 year old but I enforce no screen time before the evening (to clarify they can watch some ‘normal’ tele but no tablets/switch, and I won’t let them watch the tele for long periods either) and you tube is limited to evenings at the wkd for a few hours only. They tend to listen to me but i find the switch can be too tempting to him as it is kept in the living room so i often hide that. If I was really struggling I would turn the internet off. I find that they will ask despite knowing the rules, then after a few firm no’s they get on with playing with toys and drawing and doing all the other stuff kids should be doing which is great. Of course we go out lots too. I also ban tablets on car journeys unless we are going in the car for 3 hours plus then I would consider it for my own sanity 🤣🤣🤣 but even then it would be limited. I think I never had that when I was growing up and it was fine.

I like the if your bored I’ll find you a job. I’ll be doing that in future.

🤣🤣

My kids grew up with screens and with screen rules. For me the key was consistency. My kids were allowed an hour of computer/ipad or gaming systems and that was the rule and I enforced it. There isn’t a magic trick you just have to do it, if you are lazy and don’t bother some days then it’s hardly surprising they kick back when you are trying to enforce it.
I did no screens in the day time and I had a timer for when they played in the evening. I gave them a warning before they needed to stop then if they kicked back I wouldn’t let them have any screens the following day. If they still kicked back then they weren’t allowed screens for a week.
It was as simple as that. My kids never ended up losing screen time for a week as they knew I’d enforce it.
I wasn’t as 100% rigid as I sound though but when I made exceptions it was very clear to the kids why I was doing it. For example they could play as much game boy as they liked if we flew long haul and I sometimes allowed it if I was doing something where they had to sit for ages and be quiet.
I never casually handed a kid an iPad to keep them
quiet for me convenience because I knew in the long term that was bad for the kids and bad for me.
It’s easy to put password
protected timers on games systems and iPads etc that limit how long kids are able to play on them. That way you don’t need to get involved in arguing with them.
I also took my kids out most of the day and also made sure they loved reading.
I think it’s lazy and bad parenting to use iPads etc so much.

I'd take the screens away. Get the 11 year old a non smart phone so they can arrange to socialise with friends, but other than that I'd not be giving any kid of 7 or 8 access to a phone or tablet.

Then get them out of the house loads, take a ball to the park, take them for walks, find some decent trails for bike riding. A few days of holiday club for your sanity (if you can afford it), sign them up for a few classes. DD (8) does a week of tennis camp in the middle week of the summer holidays, it's only an hour a day but it's next to a park where I can play with her little brother and it gives us a bit of structure. Maybe camp with them even if it's just in the garden? I haven't seen op but have you said whereabouts in the country you are? Maybe people could suggest local places you haven't discovered yet.

Mine are 8 and 5. They don’t have phones, tablets or computers or access to ours. They get to watch tv on the tv at weekends only. We will probably relax this a bit over the summer but not significantly - they’re always really grumpy when we turn it off!

You’re the parent OP - you can decide how much screen time they get!

Last summer our kids were 11 and 9. We told them the WiFi wasn't working so they could only watch terrestrial TV, no Netflix, Disney etc. They watched a bit of TV each day but things like Catchphrase which was funny and we all would sit down to watch that. The WiFi miraculously fixed 2 days after school started in September. Terrible timing. Not sure what we'll do this summer as can't really get away with that again.

Why not? You proved last year that your kids could cope with the restricted access to TV. Just tell them that as their parent you have decided to have the same policy this year. Don't lie to them this year, just tell them that you have made the decision and stick to it. Why are parents so scared of actually parenting?

@WildMauveReader good point. We did it that way as it was easier I guess. But what the kids said was interesting. They said themselves they did activities and things they wouldn't have otherwise and summer felt calm and slow and enjoyable. Need to remind them or this and try and repeat it.

Give it a try anyway. It sounds as though the kids got some positives from it last year. Also if you are honest with them, then if you have a day when it really suits YOU to allow the screens then you will be able to without having to explain a miraculous repair job. My parents used to be quite strict about things in my childhood but because they explained why I wasn't allowed to do certain things I felt they were respecting me to understand. My aunt used to tell fibs to my cousin as to why he was restricted and I remember thinking 'she's making that up' and 'she must think my cousin is a bit thick to believe her'

I have teen / tween kids with laptops, not smartphones. We'll go for a family holiday for 2 weeks somewhere remote with no screens. We will probably outsource them to grandparents for a couple of days once or twice during the holidays.

The rest of the time... they'll probably spend about 20 hrs a week on screens. I'd like it to be less, but I also approve of some of their Youtube favourites - they watch things like Be Amazed, Kurzgesagt, What If, and instructional videos for their hobbies and sports. I also figure they do actually need some time to chill.

Most of their usual clubs / activities continue in the holidays and take an hour or two in a day. They'll both read happily for hours each day if they've got a book series they're enjoying. They'll run some errands for me (it's remarkable how often I find out that I've run out of something over the holidays and would they mind popping out to fetch x/y/z from the supermarket?). They sometimes go to together to the local park with a ball for an hour or so.

They have hobbies. Eldest will spend a couple of hours a day on sports / training / skills, and will sometimes bake something for the family. Youngest still plays with toys, is learning an instrument so will practice, and will happily listen to audiobooks or podcasts for a few hours. If they're minded to, they'll do some martial art stuff and sparring in the garden. They'll usually play with each other a bit; at the moment it's chess and it'll usually end with one of them being unhappy. They'll have some age-appropriate raging arguments, but that's fine and I don't need to get involved to sort out one or other's discomfort at losing a game or some minor daftness.

Do you have a garden?just say 'no screens now it's garden time' and then send them to play in the garden.put things out that they like-football if you've space/chalks if you've a patio/Lego on a blanket,whatever they're into and then you get peace and no screen time.you just need to tell them you don't want them on screens all day or they'll get stuck on them.give them their lunch outside.if it's sunny send them out with a lolly.loads of fun.if they argue you just turn off the wifi.if no garden you can take them out to a park?

Phone addiction? They’re 11, 7 & 8.5?? I guess the eldest may have a phone… why? With what purpose? Honestly take the phone away. 2hrs of TV a day (in holidays). They play. Bored? Excellent… plenty of housework to do. They struggle with screen time as you struggle to parent.

So the issue here is you not enforcing your own rules, then.

We always had a rule that there was no TV and no screens until after the time we would have got in from school. They didn't necessarily go on them at that time, but knew it was pointless to ask before that.
It just becomes the norm - like having your seatbelt fastened before the car moves or brushing your teeth before bed.

I'm guessing you are being challenged, because they know if they do so, then they get to have screens.

I think about it many tie, but as for the nathan, his father won't agree. Also I do take them to picnic once every month.

Once a month ?
If you go out every day in the school holidays, then a packed lunch was the norm here. No, not every day, but, seriously, once a month ?
How are you occupying them ??

Have a 6 year old. I tell him that his eyes will turn square and his brain will turn mushy and he will have to work extra hard at maths to get it back to normal again..then he switches off voluntarily

At those ages mine didn’t have access to mobile phones at all, and only very limited from 10/11 on a shared family Xbox. No YouTube or anything else allowed either.

They are now 14 & 12 and still don’t have any YouTube or social media and have a 1 hour time limit on their phones which covers messaging & games. Once the hour is up, there is no more.

If they want to play the Xbox they have to ask, and depending on what else they have done that day or what we are going to do, then I may allow them an hour (they know to set a timer and it goes off straight away at the end of the hour - any arguments would mean they don’t get to play next time). They also ask to watch tele, but I am more relaxed about that, particularly as they hardly ever want to watch.

We do a lot of trips out (walks, national trust, beach etc) as a family and with their friends (+families sometimes). They also have numerous hobbies - mostly sports training which keeps them very busy as they train at least once a day and quite often twice with two different sports. They also like doing stuff outside - we live on a small farm and they help with the animals, or do whittling, set up bows and arrows in the garden, have nerf battles, kick a football or play basketball. Indoors they ply a couple of instruments between them, so that’s always a good boredom cure, and one likes building Lego sets while the other is keen on drawing. Both like reading too.

I think the key is to set out the rules and parameters for screen time and be consistent with it. Also lead by example - if I don’t want my kids on screens then I also shouldn’t be scrolling Facebook or doing online shopping too much, and not at all during the day. In your circumstance I would remove all screens, go cold turkey for a while, then reintroduce tv / games console very gradually and in a limited way. Then hold the line! The younger two shouldn’t have phones and you are in control of that. The oldest, well maybe just a phone to text / call friends on - no social media, no games.

Simplistic, but just get rid of screens. We’ve never had a tablet, DD never uses my phone for anything other than FaceTiming family occasionally. We allow some TV but that’s it.

Take the kit away. Turn of the wifi. Come on woman. Who is managing this family you or the children. You are the parent. make the rules whatever you want and make sure they are adhered to.