Three month old only naps when held with a toddler to manage

[ash646668]

My 3 month old will only sleep while been held, she wakes as soon as I put her down, I've tried waiting until she is fully asleep, swaddles, dummies, different beds, things that smell like me, white noise etc, all I'm reading online is to treasure it and make the most of them sleeping on you, sleep deprivation aside, I also have a 2 year old who needs to be cared for during the day, it seems that baby will go to sleep then 2 year old will get into somehow she shouldn't, i get the baby to sleep again then she does a poo, get baby to sleep again then it's lunch time, you get my drift. She's overtired as she's not getting solid sleep until 2 year olds nap time or night time. I'm concerned about her development due to lack of sleep. I get she's only 3 months but for her own good I need to be able to put her down so she can have some decent sleeps through the day. How did others with 2 close together manage this? Wraps and slings are no good as she rarely sleeps in them and will still wake allot when she does.

Mine were 16months apart. This is just the life of a second child honestly. Will she sleep in the car or pram? I tried to get one good nap via either of those options per day and the rest was pot luck.

It won't do her any harm! Makes you realise in the end that all the fret about sleep with No1 was energy wasted 🤪

Definitely worth persevering with the sling, try different ones if poss.

It’s a really difficult stage & you have my sympathy. I know it’s not popular but in the end I had to do some gentle sleep training just to save my sanity! I would put her in the pram awake & rock until she fell asleep. She cried at first (didn’t help that she didn’t like a dummy) but eventually it took less time for her to fall asleep & then we progressed to daytime naps in her cot. She got better quality sleep & my toddler got some one on one time with me. It takes a while & I hated her crying but it was worth persevering. I also understand why lots of people don’t sleep train because I would have preferred to hold her in many ways but it just wasn’t possible with a toddler & only one pair of hands!

She just screams in the pram and car seat, I have about 7 different slings, the one she will tolerate most is a koala sling but I've been putting her in it since she was born and still not great in it. I have 3 prams, 2 car seats and 4 beds. She hates anything but arms and even then she wants to be held a certain way.

She sounds like my first! I was so lucky not to have another around! But to reassure you, she slept very little! I’m talking 9 hours total night and naps! I was very concerned. Her development is absolutely fine.

is it worth chatting with your health visitor and ruling out things like silent reflux? My first couldn’t go in the cot for months because his silent reflux bothered him so much but I didn’t realise that’s what it was for a few morns

I was going to say, it sounds like she might have silent reflux? I think any medical reasons should be ruled out first and foremost.

This was me a couple of years ago. Honestly, I just got really good at doing things with one hand 🤷‍♀️

There were some tricky moments but it doesn't last forever. My youngest is three now and the memory of clambering up a soft play or changing his brother's nappy whilst he slept in my arms have already become distant things I look back on fondly (even though I definitely found it stressful at the time).

I really wouldn't worry about development, mine has only ever slept a small amount in the day and she's fine. It's totally normal for babies to only sleep on you, it's not a medical issue. Mine didn't nap in her cot til she was about 14 months and went to 1 nap. I'd persevere with the sling and pram, more useful to get her napping there so you can be out with toddler. Overtiredness isn't a real thing, if anything it sounds like yours is undertired if she isn't staying asleep. I'd try keeping her awake longer before a nap.

I mentioned silent reflux but was dismissed and told I was doing everything you would for it anyway, upright after feeding, smaller feeds more often (she's a snacker) loose clothes, she was colicy in the beginning but that calmed down when I eliminated dairy, (my first has cmpa so knew the signs were the same) she's not particularly a fussy baby and seems happy when she's not overtired, so im lucky in that respect but she just will not be put down to sleep.

You can get omeprozole or gaviscon if the silent reflux is bad - not a step to be taken lightly but we did with our first and it helped. Our second we’ve had to ride it out, but we’ve been able to get him inthe cot elevated and on his side (which is really not advised - one of us watches him while he sleeps this way and we split the night)