3yo possible autism - refer now or wait?

[hollyhd]

I suspect my 3yo ds has mild/high functioning/low support needs autism. I'm not completely sure but he does display a lot of the signs and we have a family history.

He manages ok at the moment in daily life. I struggle sometimes with his behaviour taking him out but that's probably the same for all 3 year olds. He goes to nursery school 3 mornings a week and although they've identified that he needs a bit of extra support with social and communication skills, they haven't mentioned anything about SEN or needing an assessment.

I know the waiting lists are long for autism assessment. I'm wondering whether I should ask the GP for assessment now, before school age, or wait until he has some obvious support needs (if he does).

I'm worried about labelling him very young if he turns out to manage fine at school. But I'm also worried he might miss out on support that could help him in his early years at school.

Would love to hear others experiences please - early diagnoses and those who watched and waited.

There is no harm in asking of course, but I would be very surprised if they would refer from what you've described.

If you have a family hub they might be a good place to get advice as well.

Do you know if his speech is on track? I didn't realise my DC were behind at 3 because they "passed" the very loose metrics that were given but in hindsight looking back at videos, they all have been. This site can be helpful with what to look for: https://speechandlanguage.org.uk/

Thanks. He is a bit behind in language and social communication according the that site. He can't have a conversation for example. He's not particularly interested in what I have to say, maybe I'm just boring 😂

I would have a good talk with the nursery about his development, and make a plan to help support his communication and social skills if they are slightly behind. If this doesn't help, or if it gets worse they usually suggest extra help.

Has he had his hearing tested? (usually the first thing they ask with communication delay)..

I would definitely speak to the nursery and then speak to your GP with any concerns and issues nursery may have identified. It can be an extremely long wait for assessment, in our area it is now several years.
If your child has Autism it would hopefully be diagnosed, if he doesn't by then and doesn't have any obvious difficulties he will be discharged. You have nothing to lose by making a referral and it could help to get support if he does need it .
He would not be 'labelled'. I have a son with Audhd and I hate that phrase and wish I could ban it. There is no labeling if children. They either have a disability or learning difficulty or they don't. No label - autism is a disability which can have significant barriers and issues for so many. Its not a label its a disability.

Yes I would refer if he can't have a reciprocal conversation at 3. We referred DS at 3.5 and waited a year to see the community paediatrician anyway. Then he was diagnosed age 5. However, being on the list was helpful for us when we applied for his EHCP at age 4 before he went to school. In theory it should be needs based not diagnosis based but in practice if he's not miles behind developmentally then it will help.

Write a list of all your concerns and take it to the GP. The health visitor could also do some questionnaires with you. DS was in the normal range on their development questionnaire but scored extremely highly on the social and emotional one (i.e. he had more social and emotional challenges than the vast majority of children at his age)

Speech therapy would be well worth getting a referral for if possible. You can discuss other concerns at the same time.

If he is autistic, he will have support needs - not necessarily many. Speaking as a late diagnosed adult. I can only say that my life would have been much easier if I had been diagnosed in childhood. I could
have done with help on recognizing and avoiding bullying in primary and some academic support with essay-writing and understanding inferences in secondary (grammar).

I’d have a chat with the preschool and the GP. I’d advise anyone to get a diagnosis as soon as possible.