Leaving Cert parents - how much is too much? Am I the Grinch?

[Creesla]

I am a bit overwhelmed with the expectations of my 18 year old daughter in the weeks before her Leaving Cert exams. Two weeks to go and she wants to get into a high points course. We have had requests in last week for a day off school to go to the beach in Tramore for the day, to go for breakfast with friends and a Chinese that night, a trip for debs dress in a shop where average dress costs 500 euro, a graduation night out in a pub, club then back to a friend's house party to camp overnight. This is before her week long holiday abroad for Leaving Cert. The celebrations and what feels like self indulgence seem crazy to me.

I want her to have fun but am really uncomfortable with how much they need to do & spend in the weeks where they could put the foot down and put in some effort and focus on exams. I suppose I am seeing this in workplace too in healthcare where young professionals prioritise fun over turning up for work or prioritising it. In a way I admire this generation, for prioritising social connection, in another I despair at the work ethic and the consuming more more more spend spend spend attitude. I'm leaving her to make plans but can see she is slacking a bit and may be disappointed with results. I've pointed that out but it isn't landing.

She is a fantastic young woman, an absolute success but fomo is unreal. A normal coffee catch seems to be simply not good enough anymore. Everything is an event. I've said in a few weeks time when exams are over, she is welcome to be out when she wants, cook or hang out with pals in our home AIBU to expect work ethic, effort and focus now?

I think you're being a bit of a grinch.

The runup to the LC is hugely stressful and on top of that there is a strong sense of a phase of life coming to an end.

At this point I feel you either trust your student or you don't. In a few months, your daughter will hopefully be doing her high points course, and you won't be there to make sure she's managing her time. You need to start weaning yourself out of the role of manager.

For the sake of your student, please avoid nagging at this time. Or reminding her how little time she has left, or whatever way you may be trying to motivate her to keep up the revision. Don't complain to her about this or that expense either. Things cost what they cost. Try to manage your own anxiety.

Be happy for her that she has a lovely social life and is celebrating with her peers . There’s lots of hard stuff ahead in life let her enjoy herself now.