Nervous about my very shy three-year-old starting nursery after half term

[LeFxX]

Hi everyone.

My son is 3 and after May half term will be starting at nursery for half days 5 days a week. I’m so nervous for him as he is exceptionally shy and quiet around other people and children.

He is such a chatty and lovely little boy at home around his family, he LOVES his little sister and she has become somewhat a little bit of a safety net for him as they do everything together.

His sister is the opposite and is so social and adventurous which I think has helped him a little but also hindered him as he wants her to do everything with him but of course, she can’t go to school with him!!

We are out almost every single day doing things. We go to playgroups, soft plays, he is in a football tots club (with his sister of course). He did gymnastics too once upon a time but we were wasting our money as he just stood there doing nothing half the time as he was so shy. He has young cousins a similar age who he does really love too so it’s not like he just hasn’t been socialised, it’s very much just his personality. Any other adults, children etc he will FREEZE! He can barely give them eye contact, won’t speak to them or interact at all.

Like I’ve said, his little sister definitely helps him and in the last year he’s come out of his shell somewhat as he used to be much, much worse.

I’m so worried sick about him starting as I know in my heart it’s going to be difficult for him at first! Does anybody else have any experience with children that have been similar?

Has he had any settling in sessions to get him used to the environment?

My son was/is the same. He is 4 now and definitely a bit more confident but still finds it difficult. I try encourage him to smile say hello,join groups etc. It is very difficult. We also have a sibling and cousins but all are a safety net for him

Yes sorry, he’s had a couple with us there and after half term will have a couple by himself which I’m already super anxious for as it is. He did well the days we’ve been there but when the kids came over to say hi or the teacher spoke to him he turns away, looks at the ground, hand in his mouth etc.

Mine was exactly the same @LeFxX - except we don’t have any other kids in the family at all (no cousins etc and none of our friends have kids!). We went to groups etc daily to make sure he got as much socialisation as possible.

Starting nursery was HARD! I won’t sugar coat it. Settling in sessions went fine, first couple of days went fine…just long enough to give me a false sense of security, then all hell broke loose 😬
He would SCREAM the place down going in. He would have me in a vice grip with handfuls of my hair getting pulled out 🫠 But, when he was in he wasn’t upset at all. He needed quite a bit of encouragement from the keyworkers to get involved - I think he felt quite overwhelmed as it’s a busy nursery and there’s so much on offer for them to do so he would just wander round not wanting to approach anything that other kids were at. One thing that really helped was staff greeting him at the door with a task for him to do. I think it made the initial drop off a bit less daunting as he knew he didn’t have to make any choices about what to do straight away.
But slowly he started playing alongside other kids, then he’d join in as long as they initiated it, then he’d start actually approaching them.

Honestly, I cried every day for months when he started (never infront of him of course!) and questioned whether we’d be better me giving up work and him just being home with me until school. But thank goodness I stuck with it because his nursery have been absolutely incredible and his confidence has skyrocketed since he settled in ☺️

Hes still shy when we bump into people and he has the option of just hiding behind me, but when hes around his peers he’s a completely different child.

Fibgers crossed yours goes much smoother than mine - but even if it’s hard at the start, stick with it!! X