Is reduced fitness and weight gain in children becoming more common?

[BeAmberPanda]

I know this is a sensitive subject and I really don’t want to sound like I’m judging anyone, but I do feel a bit out of my depth with what I’m seeing in children now and wondered if others feel the same.
On holiday recently with DD and her best friend, both DH and my mum made a few comments (probably more out of concern than anything else) about how much less active children seem compared to when we were younger. The girls are lovely, but they really did spend most of the time around the pool sitting or lying down, snacking constantly, and getting quite out of breath with very little activity.
What stood out to me was just how much weight both of them seem to be carrying around their middles. When they were sitting on the loungers after lunch, their stomachs were quite rounded and visibly resting over the waistbands of their bikinis, especially when they slouched or leaned forward. They didn’t seem aware of it at all - constantly adjusting waistbands and carrying on chatting, which I suppose shows how normal it feels to them.
My mum did gently comment a couple of times that she worries children now don’t seem to be as fit as they used to be, and that was met with a bit of eye-rolling and “you’re just old, it’s normal now” type responses, which she found quite upsetting if I’m honest. I think she was trying to say it from a health point of view rather than appearance.
I suppose what’s worrying me most isn’t how they look, but how quickly they seem to get tired, how much they rely on snacks and drinks all day, and how little proper movement there seems to be without it being a bit of a struggle.
Maybe I’m just naïve, but I can’t help feeling a bit concerned that this is becoming the norm rather than the exception.

My kids are 19 and 22. I received "your child is overweight" letters for them both in year 6. They slimmed down in year 8 and both are slim now (BMI 21ish). They are careful about what they eat, not massively sporty, but reasonably fit. Neither has overweight friends, so probably a bit of peer pressure.

We have definitely normalised snacking because you are bored, from toddlerhood, for kids aged 16-17 now. It's the generation of parents who had a bag full of bread sticks etc and never told their kids to wait or distracted them with a more fun idea.

Getting tired from very little walking has also increased, people drive everywhere.

Each individual thing doesn't seem too bad in isolation, but when you add it all together it's a fairly dull, unhealthy way to live.

So what are going to do about it? Because you’re talking about your own kid here.

Hear hear!! My beautiful DD6 is incredibly active (plays 5 sports outside school, 1 of them 3 times a week) but she is greedy and would eat rubbish all day if we let her. Because of her high activity levels she’s allowed more treats than she would otherwise get but we keep an eye on it and promote a strong, healthy body ethos. Unpopular opinion but unless there is an underlying reason, overweight children are the fault of the parents.

In my kids’ primary most of the kids are overweight. The only ones that aren’t either do enormous amounts of exercise (like county-level swimming/football etc) or come from families that don’t eat UPF.

I think UPF is the major issue. My kids are ordinary in terms of physical activity but they are not overweight because we don’t buy UPF/packaged snacks. The packaged snacks are so calorific and palatable that it’s really easy for kids to become overweight if they are a regular part of the diet. I find it really really sad.

We are working on this at my school right now with the senior school girls. It’s unfortunate that a lot of teenage girls stop doing sport in their early teens due to development of breasts and feeling uncomfortable with their bodies.

We’re working on getting the girls some nice workout gear and helping them find something they really love. Walking, running, Pilates, ballet/barre type workouts, team sports, tennis… A good sports bra is a must, and they need to feel comfortable while exercising. Most of them prefer female-only classes so that they don’t feel the boys are staring at them.

Also, getting them off their screens and outside is a HUGE challenge but definitely worth it. They all report that a 30 min walk without looking at a screen makes them feel a million times better. Many have taken up hiking and really enjoy it. It think the picturesque instagram photos also help motivate them!

Food is a massive issue. I completely understand what you mean about the constant snacking. None of them seem to know how to cook or put a healthy meal together.

The girls whose parents (specifically their mothers) are fit, healthy, and help them with their eating and exercise, seem to do much better than the others. My own DD is only 3, but it’s motivated me to keep her active and healthy into her teen years, as much as possible.

Totally agree with you and good on you for keeping on top of it.
At that age you are responsible for what goes into their mouths and how much they move.

Like OP I have seen kids on holiday, stuffing crisps into their mouths by the pool, being sedentary, with rolls of fat that shouldn’t be there.

If it is a teacher that’s disappointing. Perhaps it’s rushed typing. Let’s be generous.

A few things occured to me reading your posts. First was oh I so wish I could look at my anorexic daughter and see a roll of fat over a bikini bottom!

Second was a holiday seems an odd time to worry about and judge your DD and her mate wanting to eat more than usual and laze around. That's a feature of a holiday for a lot of people and seems to be on you booking that kind of holiday? You could presumably have booked something more active?

Anyway, eating disorders are on the rise and your daughter and her friend are likely bombarded with social media images of painfully thin celebrities and influencers so I'd be very careful about how I made her feel about her body if I were you.

I am told my kids are very active. They do around 10 - 13 hours of sport a week (organised) plus they still play tag, football etc at lunch break. Tweens.

But most parents say I do too much with them. They are suprised the kids can manage this level of activity. The kids love it and if we are away they still want to do activities like swimming or a morning run or bike ride etc. They did a 10 mile walk recently because we had a free day and not one moan - they said it was relaxing and can we try a bit longer next time. So I’m certainly not forcing them.

But friends of mine feel 10 hours of activity is far too much for children. (Football match, hockey match, swimming, martial art, dance are examples). It didn’t start at 10 -12 hours but built up as they added new clubs (and didn’t drop the old ones).

I used to be out on my bike and skates for a couple of hours after school and all day at the weekends. We would ride for miles and then go swimming. So 10 hours seems quite low in compariosn. Ofc they go out on their bikes and play in the garden but no way would I let them go out freely like I did. We would be playing tag with 20 kids over a mile away from home.

I think our expectations have changed and maybe we don’t think kids are as capable as we were. I’d be out in the holidays from 8am until 6pm playing 😁 I’m sure I moved far more than my kids did. Even from 14 i would dance for hours in nightclubs 🤣.

I think a lot of people who drive just stop walking places that are walkable.

I think it is massively relevant. It’s easy to put firm boundaries in around food when kids are younger. It’s also fairly easy to keep them active as children generally like being active.

But teens, need to be making good food choices themselves. And the food environment is so unhealthy, massive portions, constant snacks. It’s very difficult.

Teens also tend towards lazing around. So unless they are into a sport, it can be very difficult to keep them active. My DD is not sporty and I worry about keeping her active into her teens.

Most schools have cut afternoon play now. Halving the amount of running around that children can do in a day.

is she overweight too?

It's hard as I don't want to cause a ED

I always find it a bit sad how many children are driven to and from school. I see people on my street arriving home from the school run in their car at the same time I do on foot all year round. We walk everywhere, it would have to be absolutely terrible for me to drive to nursery and school, I think I’ve done it once this school year (and the traffic was so awful I’d rather we just walked and dealt with the weather).

I notice among DD1’s friends how unused to just walking so many of them are. Driven to school and back, classes and back, parties and back. We picked up a friend of DD1’s at school to come back for a play date and she was gobsmacked we were doing about a 12-minute walk home. She asked about five times if we were there yet! Meanwhile I took DD1(6 at the time) on a city break and she did 20k steps without complaining once.

Kids seem to do a lot of classes etc but a lot less of the functional everyday movement and exercise that is sort of the foundation of fitness.

No she isn’t. At the moment she does do exercise. She is just 13 and it’s easy to find things for her to do that are not sport.

But I imagine it will get more difficult

@BeAmberPanda Eating disorders are mental health issues. Dd having more exercise and a changed diet where you are in control really won’t cause anything. Don’t buy the snacks! You control this! Insist on walking and get DD moving.

shes 16!

@BeAmberPanda It’s true DDs at that age aren’t into sport as much as they might be but surely she’s old enough to stop snacking? My DN is too fat and she’s just choosing sausage rolls. Parents think she’s old enough to choose so they don’t parent. Talking about weight and eating sensibly is parenting at any age so don’t have snacks in the house and discourage her. My DDs regulated themselves as they wanted to be size 10 and size 6.

I was on my 20 minute lunch break eating with one hand and typing with the other on my phone. This is really weird.

As a long time teacher I have indeed observed an increase in weight gain and less active students, noticeably female. In the olden days on periods we got on with it, now with so much pamper at home the mention of it is expected to send PE teachers into a rapture of softness, the same for other subjects with requests to change pads half way into first lesson.

It's of course a reflection of society; kids don't play out as much/gaming/screens etc. In ks3 so many pupils seem to retain a proportionate index mass and do enjoy moving about more but later years that's what then the differences show.

PE is the only time some get to do ' be forced' to exercise and when they do everything they can do get out of it, well they get very little.

This isn't the majority, but a significant minority who plan to get out of it, sit on the sidelines and chat.

I suppose the qn is, how long has she been like this? if this is the first time you've really walked anywhere with DD, or the first time you've clocked just how much she eats, maybe there's the problem.
What size clothes is she in? was she in the "right" age when she was younger?

basically has she always been unfit and overweight or has it changed recently since she's become more independent?

It is really weird

Im a professional that writes reports regularly including for court, my spelling and grammar on here is dreadful because I type quickly usually while holding a cuppa in one hand, its a chat forum not a university

You can tell when someone is making typos or its been on a phone.

Who cares, its clear what you're saying

Thank you 🙏🏼 I was starting to doubt myself!