Anyone isolate themselves as they’re so sensitive in social interactions and critically analyse themselves?

[Sunshineandrain999]

Anyone just cut themselves off from others since having a family? I have 4 kids, feel isolated but all my own doing. I have no interest or energy in socialising or being around other mums. Love my babies more than anything but I don’t get pleasure from much, at least not in the way I used to. 44 and think I may be perimenopausal, taking HRT and stopped Zoloft over 2 years ago (switched to mirtzapine briefly but after a horrible reaction came off antidepressants altogether). Paranoid what others think of me and feel no energy to engage. Mull over and play back interactions thinking of all the dumb things I’ve said and if people think I’m a bad parent. Can’t stomach coffee anymore, alcohol makes me feel like dying the next day and full of shame and guilt. Convinced others are talking behind my back. No parents or emotional support to speak of. Dad is dead, mum has dementia. Moved from overseas 5 years ago and never really settled. Not in a good place at the moment folks. Can anyone relate. Is this my life now.

Just a quick reply, I have many friends who found their energy and their will to engage, as well as feelings of being more paranoid, all changed in peri. You say you are on HRT, might be worth looking at anti-depressants again, I found them helpful and HRT did not suit me. Four children is a lot and so being realistic, you probably don't have much energy left over- is there anything to give you a bit of a window to being more yourself- like something you like to do or that is calming (e.g. meditation, dancing to music, jounalling, an old hobby to take up again, book club)- as I think feeling better and more centred in yourself would then knock on to social situations. Feeling discombobulated is definitely a peri thing unfortunately. I'm sorry you feel like this OP, there are lots of ways to shift the mid-life blues, and it depends on time/energy and support which might work for you, but things do shift over time and perhaps some new windows of being more you, or going out and feeling less self-critical will open up. Parenting four children is amazing, though, I have two and that's quite difficult, so give yourself some credit where credit is due.

I recognise replaying things from the past as a peri symptom, I often have a sudden flash of embarrassment at something I did or said when I was a teen.
I had to give up alcohol due to a sudden allergy and it making me feel so tired next day.
I had a period of not being bothered about going out, which is why I went on HRT.
It might be worth moving this to the menopause section as there’s someone on there called something like JinglingSpringBells who always has good advice about HRT doses. I think that if you’ve been on antidepressants before peri you are advised to stay on them and add HRT, but I could be wrong, and they would know that.