No longer managing public outings with my autistic child

[OhMyCherryPies]

What do you do if you can no longer manage to take your autistic child out anymore? My child is 15 but she’s always been hard work but she has got harder as she’s got older, she is aggressive, runs off, no danger awareness, but a new thing shes started doing is just screaming at the top of her voice, doesn’t matter where we are. She will just start screaming.

Yesterday we had to get off the train as she was running up and down a packed carriage screaming her head off. Shes too fast for me now and I struggle to stop her or keep up with her, I have two teenage sons (though younger) who help me with her but it’s not fair on them either and they both get very upset when she’s acting like that (one is autistic himself so he gets very upset at the unwanted attention) we had to get off the train in an area I didn’t even know and wait till she had calmed down before we could get on the next one in the pouring rain (nothing had happened to cause the outbursts), it was horrible as she kept attempting to run off. I just feel like I’m not able to manage her outside on my own anymore and dont know what to do, is there medication to help her to be more calm? Someone suggested reins for her but I don’t think that would be suitable for a 15 year old and I think we’d probably attract a lot of negative attention walking a 15 year old on reins. Theres got to be medication to help her? I went to the drs but they didnt help much.

I’m definitely no expert in this area, so can only tell you what I’d try if in your situation.

I would put her into mainstream school.

If her needs are too extreme for the school to cater for, then they will report on this and these are the reports that will strengthen your case for your DD to be moved to specialist education. They will push for the move to happen quickly too just to have her off their hands.

The alternative is to speak to your local MP and put the pressure on them to get you the help you need. Keep hounding them for the support. They are here to serve their constituents.

Authorities finding her fit for mainstream doesn't mean much, as mainstream schools are bound to try and meet any child's needs, and then evidence against that is then gained when it all goes to shit. The mainstream school has to then exolain how it tried, and why it won't work.

The LA have found her fit for mainstream (but you disagree) so presumably your DD doesn’t have an associated learning disability or significant cognitive disability?
If the LA is saying mainstream she doesn't have any learning disabilities I assume?

There are plenty of cases where the CYP has an LD or other cognitive disability but the LA has named MS and forced parents to appeal. MS being named is absolutely not an indication that there isn’t an LD or other cognitive disability.

on the cusp of mainstream

From what OP has said previously, OP’s DD isn’t on the cusp of mainstream. The problem stemmed from a poor EHCP in primary, including the primary providing support well in excess of what was in the EHCP. Like many that happens to, there was then a problem with the placement named for secondary transfer because the LA made the decision on the paperwork rather than the actual child’s presentation. From the LA’s PoV naming MS at secondary was a successful strategy. OP didn’t originally appeal to SENDIST, she just EHE originally. It saves them money.

The LA will concede if they are trying to say mainstream but carers can't manage a 2:1 and if professional reports say specialist. There's zero point them taking that to tribunal.

Unfortunately, LAs still do take it to Tribunal sometimes. It saves money them in the short term. From their PoV, it has been a successful strategy by OP’s LA, especially since OP has said previously she has thought about withdrawing the appeal.

Many GPs will not initiate medication for anxiety and like it to be started by CAMHS.

Sorry I will come back to this a bit later and answer properly but all mainstreams have said can’t meet needs, local authority named our closest one anyway, I will come back and answer the rest in a bit just wanted to clear that up.

My daughter was put for an autism diagnosis at 2 she was diagnosed at 4, it would have been earlier but silly me wanted to wait so it was delayed as I thought things could improve and I didn’t want it to be wrong because she was so young, but she was completely non verbal till she was 4 as she was so young when diagnosed she was only diagnosed as autistic. Her tutor says she is working at a lower key stage 2 level at 15. She has the mental age of a 6/7 year old so yes she does have LD alongside autism. As PP said a lot of this was because her EHCP wasn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

It's been many years now where any child is 'entitled to a mainstream education', and then they closed most of the specialist schools and told the mainstream schools to suck it up and cope. Then they've systematically underfunded and created an ehcp system that always gives disabled children less than they really need even if they can get past the first hurdle of even getting an assessment.

Being offered mainstream and deemed suitable for mainstream, does NOT mean there aren't learning disabilities. It means very little
Even SEN schools are way over capacity and cannot provide a good therapeutic environment in a lot of cases.

The situation is a lot more dire than many people realise and it's declining more all the time.

Many families are forced into homeschooling.

I'm actually all for home education, but it should be an enthusiastic choice, not a single parent forced into something they can't cope with and the state washing their hands of the responsibility to help