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Parenting

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How do you cope with resentment after being left to parent alone

1 reply

HelloKittyKatt · 17/05/2026 00:17

I’m struggling badly with anger and resentment towards my ex and I honestly don’t know how to move past it. We have children with varying levels of disabilities and he chose to leave. He now has nothing to do with them. He knows I have no family support, no friends nearby, and no real break from caring, but he still walked away and left everything to me.

I genuinely cannot understand how someone can sleep at night knowing the situation they’ve left their children and their ex in. I feel trapped, exhausted, and like my whole life has become caring responsibilities with no escape. Some days I feel more like a prisoner than a person.

I’m also so sick of having to explain to people that he doesn’t see them anymore, or answer awkward questions about where he is and why I’m always alone with them. It’s humiliating and painful every single time.

I’m not even asking whether I’m better off without him, I know relationships end but how do you cope with the sheer anger of being abandoned to carry everything alone? Has anyone else been through this with SN/disabled children? Did the resentment ever ease? It’s not even earlier days, we broke up years ago but I still feel quite angry. I struggle to even take my children out alone and today was just awful.

OP posts:
ikeepforgetting · 17/05/2026 00:30

I'm so sorry, that sounds tough - and that today has been particularly hard. He's an appalling excuse for a human to abandon his kids like that.

I have two older teenagers, one autistic, other lots of traits. They are relatively independent in lots of ways, but fussy about food (I cook different meals for everyone!), need things to be kept calm and no surprises in their day. I do a lot more for them than the 'average' teen parent.

I am parenting them alone after their father admitted to serial affairs, he turns up once every few weeks but does absolutely nothing of use, no co-parenting here. It is exhausting, but you have it so much harder if you can't get out.

I don't have advice sadly, I make sure I look after myself when I've time, little treats like a long bath, a new book, good coffee. Sounds minor but since I made an effort to be nice to myself, it has definitely made me feel more able to cope.

Keep talking here if it helps

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