Afternoon All,
Never done this before, so apologies if there's any particular way this usually goes.
I have an issue, that I need advice on. To give context, my wife and I have 6 kids, 5 live with us and 1 of mine lives with an ex. One child, we'll call him Jospeh, is my eldest son at 15, very nearly 16, is from that previous relationship but asked to move in with us 3 years ago (he is brother to the other child I referenced). Me and my sons are white, my wife is mixed race and so are here kids.
I've just had my son's phone screen fixed and took the opportunity to have a look though his phone, its something we are open about in the house that if we have any reason to want to do a "phone check" that we can. We've had a few instances where we thought he had been lying to us.
Looking through the phone, was a chat between a friend where he's talking about a gathering and whether he got with a girl, my son said "no as she was a N-Word, couldn't catch me with a C."
I'd like to say that despite the quite clearly racist and offensive language, my true belief is that he has used it to be "amusing" (I know how this sounds) in front of his friends and not as an intent to cause harm or offense. That doesn't make what he said any better, but I think the context of intent plays a part.
I have to break it to my black wife, that my white son has said this, and other references which aren't as blunt in a similar manner (i.e "waddup (ninja emoji)). She is someone who has suffered racism first hand and will not take this lightly.
I then have to have the conversation with my son.
I have no particular questions really, I just know it's going to be a hard day, so welcoming any advice or help that might help me navigate this, do I tell my wife and then just ride the wave that comes with it?
I'd like to think 6 kids deep I'm a pretty good parent, but this is hitting me differently and I sure know it'll be smack in the face to his step mum who has had nothing but his best interests at heart.