Can anyone reassure a struggling FTM?

[AlwaysAnAddams]

Im hoping for reassurance more than anything! My DD is 9.5 months old, always been a small baby on the 9th centile consistently. She’s never been a big milk drinker and 24oz has always been average until the last month where we are at 20ish oz a day. Weaning is not going well at all, we might get her to try a few spoons of puree here and there but anything with texture or porridge, weetabix etc is refused. She will pick up finger foods and nibble on them but not actually eat them yet.

She started nursery today and didn’t eat any solids as expected but also only had 5oz milk there all day. She’s always been difficult to give a bottle and won’t take one from anyone but me and that requires me dancing round with her most of the time.

I just feel like crying. I’m so scared she’s going to start losing weight and falling off her curve and I feel powerless to do anything about it as I have to return to work. I called my health visitor in tears and they said drop her milk to 18oz to try and make her eat more food but it didn’t change anything and I’m scared of her not getting enough calories in.

has anyone experienced this? Everything I read about low formula intake is linked to babies that tank solids but I can’t find anything to put my mind at rest that she’ll still grow on that little milk and no solids

Im going out of my mind with worry 😭

My dd had absolutely no interest in doing more than gumming food and spitting until 9 months and didn't start digesting what she swallowed or eating in any appreciable quantity until 12 months. She also was exclusively breastfed and refused to have any liquids out of any container. Especially not milk. At best sips of water out a doidy cup was our only option. I had no way of measuring how much milk she had but if I ever had to leave her for long she would just stock up overnight the night after. Which is what they commonly do when they start nursery. I feel for you for the sleep deprivation but maybe increasing overnight feeds may be the way to keep her intake up.

Try not to worry. Nursery is a very new experience for her and some children just take time to get used to it. Nursery is very busy and distracting. Have you spoken to the nursery/ her keyworker about her struggles with solids and milk feeds. It could be that she needs a quiet calm place away from distraction for her milk feed. Same with her food, some nurseries are very BLW and self feeding leaning. It could be that your DD may need the food mashing/ blending and mixing with some milk/ water to make it smoother and then need a bit of extra help and encouragement to have a go. If the staff are aware they can help.

Saying that nurseries are magic places where babies and toddlers are able to do things they don't do at home no matter what you do (like sleep independently, eat all vegetables without fuss, devour all meals, drink from cups that are not the "correct" colour ect).

She will more than likely make up for the less food/ milk on nursery days the following day or too when home with you.

I would keep an eye on the weight but just keep going with what you are doing. I wouldn't try and reduce milk feeds to encourage solids, I would instead offer milk when she asks for milk, feed a selection of pureed, mashed and finger food and just keep at it.

Have you tried offering food little and often so 5 or 6 "small" meals/ snacks rather than 3 meals? I find this works for my rubbish eater 5yr old DD (who was an absolute disaster to wean and wasn't really properly eating food until nearly 1) who gets over faced with big meals but meals broken down into 5 smaller ones works for her in terms of getting calories in.

Another one here to say don’t worry! Weaning can be a stressful time for both parties. I would also try the likes of avocado, butternut squash, mashed kidney beans, a mix of calorie dense foods. I wouldn’t reduce her milk too much as she still gets lots of nutrients from it. She will get the hang of it give it time. Try not to worry and best of luck with nursery ❤️

Thankyou some really good suggestions to try x

My dd was a bit like this and remains a fussy eater to this day. I breastfed and when she went to nursery at 10 months still refusing to wean she also refused to drink milk and then came home and made up for it by feeding all night. In the end I gave up bf because it was too exhausting and we introduced the milk in a sippy cup rather than a bottle which she seemed more agreable to. We made sure that every food choice was as high calorie as possible. E.g. adding butter to warm pureed veg. Butter and full fat cream cheese on bread etc.