DD6 overly dependent on BFF

[SomeOtherUser]

My DD6 is best friends with a girl in her Y1 class - they have been besties basically all their lives. For the most part their friendship seems healthy and supportive; their teachers report nothing negative in their interactions, apart from the usual mild spat that DD also tells us about.

The issue is that our DD doesn't function well in school without her friend. She breaks down into fits of hysterics when her friend is ill, for example. I believe her friend is somewhat the same, although she is a few months older and generally a little more mature, I would say.

I'm wondering if this is something that will resolve with more maturity or if we should be doing more to help (for example by fostering other friendships, although to be honest she isn't terribly interested, and it's also not something I am amazing at!). I suspect they will be separated next year, which I guess may resolve it in a rip-the-bandaid sort of fashion, but if anyone has any stories to relate or sage advice, I would love to hear. 😊

Why wouldn’t you do more to help? Your child is breaking down in fits of hysterics when her friend is not there. There are so many things that go wrong. Your child’s happiness is dependent on another person who you have absolutely no way of controlling. For want of a better word.

Yes, you should try to make her more independent.

To the poster above. Why do you think she is posting here?! She obviously wants to help her DD be more independent 🙄

Just be relaxed about it I think. Both mine had intense friendships that shifted around year 3. I looked it up and there is some research that suggests moving on from a best friend is statistically highest in Year 3 ( the 2nd grade equivalent in US? ). Apparently nearly 50% of the previous friendships shift around that time.
In my DDs experience a lot of shifting happens year 5/6 as well. I could never decide if they were practising with new people ready for the new intake at London secondary schools, or if it was a sort of a it’s my oooh last chance with these people as we are all moving on, especially in London where they all scattered quite widely.

The OP literally asks if she should do anything to help or just wait for her to mature. That’s her actual question.

What else are we answering here?

Should I do something or not? That’s what she wants to know. I think she should do some and the other poster who answered thinks the op should relax about it and it will sort itself out over time.

She does not ‘obviously want to make her dd more independent’ that’s her question.

Unless it is a tiny school with one form intake, it would be wise to separate them for year 2. Or at least make sure they are on separate tables or groups. A good teacher will recognize that.
6 year olds don’t need ‘besties’.
And your daughter’s level of distress when the other child isn’t there isn’t healthy. Neither is it fair on the other child who also needs other friends.