2 year old making racially insensitive comments

[Ambn1]

While out for a day out today our 2yo daughter who is white, was sat in a cafe when two black women came and sat nearby. One of these women had her hair in braids with colourful threads woven through and the other had her hair in defined curls with big hair clips holding it off her face. Our daughter said very loudly ‘that lady has funny hair!’ I was absolutely mortified and wasn’t sure how to respond in the moment so said ‘she has lovely hair, it’s curly like yours’.

I know she is only 2 and is just commenting without any thought about how it would make another person feel, but I would hate for a person to feel upset or hurt by the comment. If you were the women in the situation, how would you have felt most comfortable with me handling the situation?

Toddlers just do this, she’s just saying what she sees.
My friend’s toddler came out with “look mummy, that man is brown, brown like chocolate” in a busy cafe, all she could do was say “yes he is isn’t he” while cringeing!

My eldest while a toddler said “look a fat lady pushing another fat lady in a wheelchair “ I don’t think they heard luckily!

When I was a similar age apparently I asked my dad why he one of his colleagues had white palms when the rest of him was brown. I can guarantee that 40 years later I am in no way racist !

You're overthinking it. Toddlers say embarrassing things. Chances are, these ladies also have children and feel your pain.

As a toddler, my eldest told a man he should dry his hair before going out. Sikh, I think he was. We were all a bit confused and on further questioning it came about that he thought the man's turban was a towel like I wear when getting out of the bath.

My third told another man (Muslim, I think.) That she liked his dress. He was very kind to her, explained it was called a Shalwar(sp?) and traditional in his country.

She also once told a nice Jamaican lady on the bus that she was much blacker than her friend Sunita. 🫣 Luckily the lady thought it was hilarious.

People are generally very understanding of small children.

Hmm… I tried the “it’s best not to talk about how people look, and if there’s anything you want to say we can talk about it at home”

Then one day he pointed to a woman and said loudly “mummy, we need to talk about THAT lady when we get home”

OP, the little devils will find any way to embarrass you. They mean nothing by it and anyone who takes offence is the one with the problem.

Black women are not so stupid that they think a 2 year old making a perfectly normal and sweet comment, or a perfectly normal reply by you, is actually racism directed at them

Thanks for your responses. I suppose my question was more about how I should have responded rather than a concern that my 2 year old is racist! I know she is too young to have any awareness that her comments have any impact. But they could still make someone feel uncomfortable.

OP she's honestly fine! Might make you nervous in the moment but it's not even offensive. My brother pointed at a very overweight lady wearing orange when he was a toddler and shouted "Look, Mum, that lady looks like a pumpkin!"

I've also had a toddler point at my mixed heritage baby and go "THAT'S a brown baby!" I just said "yes!" He is? Kid's just noticing something interesting. I'm sure mine will come out with worse

Your reply was good.

It sounds like you're over sensitive rather than over thinking

Hilarious 😂 😂 😂

A lady got into a lift myself and my 2 year old DD were in wearing a burka. My DD started screaming saying it was a 'black ghost' 😱😱😱😱

I was horrified but explained that it was just a lady wearing something to cover her face as we all like wearing different things for different reasons... was the best I could come up with on the spot whilst my brain was shutting down wanting the ground to swallow me up!

I apologised to lady who was lovely about it. I think the hair comment wasn't one to worry about OP!

This is not racist!! Your daughter is two FGS.
my son used to call black people chocolate people when he was 3. He saw brown, chocolate is brown. Was he racist? No. He was 3, trying to understand the world with his limited comprehension.

My two year old niece answered the door once. She shouted, “There’s a big, black man at the door.” My sister was mortified, but my niece was correct.

Years ago son in buggy waiting to cross a busy road. We were behind a group of girls and son says 'mum she has a big bum' really loudly the girls turned around. Was mortified then sped off in the buggy! If i had made a deal of it I'm sure he would have done it more as toddlers do! At that age they are just learning and observing. Enjoy the toddler years 😁