Would you complain after teacher wrongly accused DS of throwing pencil case?

[CharlieRight]

DS6 has almost completed grade 1 of international school, prior to this he attended a Chinese kindergarten. It was quite a big move especially because we had to move our family home to be close enough to the school. Considering all of the changes, language, teaching style, environment etc I think he’s done very well. However his journey was not without challenges and as a result of that DW and I feel like his home room teacher has got a down on him. Challenges being things like wandering off to investigate the pond in recess or the conveyor belt for dirty plates in the cafeteria or for some reason becoming obsessed with the class dustbin after a module of enquiry based learning around waste and recycling.
That’s the background. Latest issue was the HR teacher messaged to tell us that he had deliberately thrown his pencil case down two flights of stairs at a teacher who had reported it to HR teacher and to request that we come in to discuss the matter. I spoke to DS and he said it was an accident and he was driving his pencil case up the handrail. So I messaged back to ask that they check the story on cctv and DS’s version of events was confirmed.

DW is furious about the accusations and wants to complain, although I am disappointed that the HR teacher didn’t consider our sons personality and take his side with the unknown teacher or at least investigate first; life’s not fair and it’s sorted out now (and he only has about six weeks left).
I might ask whether the other teacher has been updated and perhaps why HR teacher defaulted to believe an accusation of mal-intent rather than what they should have known about DS’s demeanor. DW wants to go further.
WWYD?

I’d think the whole world has gone mad ..

Jesus no. I agree with you, not your wife. However if you feeel like your child is being sidelined or targeted unfairly by a teacher then you could approach (in a calm and balanced manner) to discuss what you feel you are seeing overall in his relationship with his teacher and school environment. Not some petty pencil case situation that has been dealt with.

No I wouldn't.

I wouldn't go into school for a meeting about this, especially since cctv confirms that your DS did not deliberately through his pencil case at a teacher.

I would definitely point out to HR teacher that s/he could have chatted with your DS and checked cctv before escalating any of this - No one really needed to contact you and your DW about this.

It does sound like the HR teacher is not giving your DS the benefit of the doubt but maybe after a year of adjusting to each other, the HR teacher is feeling a little weary ...

Will your DS continue at this school next year? Presumably, he will have a different HR teacher in Sept?

@tarheelbaby
You summed up my thoughts quite well. He will get a new teacher for G2 and the three classes will be mixed up. So in theory a fresh start.

Your wife is massively over reacting!

How old is your son?

Challenges being things like wandering off to investigate the pond in recess or the conveyor belt for dirty plates in the cafeteria or for some reason becoming obsessed with the class dustbin after a module of enquiry based learning around waste and recycling.
these are things your son is doing? Being in places he shouldn’t?
how old is he and how is he getting unfettered access to the pond and what sounds like kitchen area of cafeteria?

@Littlefish
DS is 6 years old. The pond is between the building and the playing field and has turtles in it, the conveyor is set up to take away the plates and cutlery after the diners have scraped their leftovers into a bin. He is inquisitive and I can see how these things would fascinate him to the point he could ignore what he should be doing, and I can also see how it would drive his teacher up the wall. That was before Christmas, he is settled in now, but I think there is some hangover in the way he is regarded which is a little unfair

You are still in China, but at an international school?

Just confirming because that context really matters. Chinese school discipline and routines/policy (as I'm sure you know and are experiencing) is/are quite different to that in the U.K.

Is your wife Chinese? Because her reaction is strange for someone familiar with Chinese educational culture. I would argue that it would be highly counter productive to complain or push this further.

For me, gentle chats with the home room teacher, acknowledging that while your son didn't do it on purpose, he shouldn't be driving his pencil case in places where it could easily fall off. Of course the home room teacher is going to believe another teacher, and you did the right thing to push for them to check, and now they have the home room teacher knows the truth, and I'm sure they will mention it to the other teacher.

It really only is a small thing though, so I wouldn't make it into something bigger. The last thing you want to do is make enemies of the his teachers, unless you absolutely have to.

@CharlieRight it sounds like he needs to be watched as those things could be dangerous. Imagine your wife’s outrage if his finger got stuck in the conveyor belt & it was chopped off, or he drowned in the pond? The teacher would be told off for not keeping him under control. Honestly you need to move on.