Anyone else nearing 40 and feeling between life stages with children

[Wondrring]

Is anyone else approaching 40 and feeling completely in-between stages of life?

I’m nearly 38 with two kids and thought by this age I’d feel more settled in myself, but instead I feel a bit lost and emotionally exhausted. I have ideas for my future and the kind of life I want, but no time, energy or resources to properly move towards any of it.

Not sure if this is late 30s, burnout, an identity shift, or all of the above.

I’m the same age but feel very settled. One child and no more planned. Have the marriage, house, and career I want. And my spare time is spent doing exactly what I want to do.

Can you outline what your ideas are for the future and what it would take to achieve them? Are there steps you can start taking towards that, even baby steps?

I can relate to your post. I will be 38 in June, and have 2 kids (2 and 6). I definitely feel like I am in some sort of transition, I won't be having anymore kids so I feel like I am leaving that stage behind while not sure what to move onto. I can also very much relate to being low on time and energy 😅 for now I am focusing on reclaiming myself, making small steps to make myself healthier. For example I now do a home weights workout every second day. It only takes 15 minutes but makes me feel better about myself. I'm also trying to remember the things I used to like to do, like reading, art etc. I might be deluding myself but I feel like if I focus on the little things for now, I can work on bigger things when I have more time/money/energy eventually. Good luck and be kind to yourself, you don't need to have everything figured out right now xx

How old are your kids OP? If they are young it's normal to feel exhausted - when I was your age I had DC aged 2, 4 and 6 and I was knackered! When the youngest started school I began reclaiming my sense of self, in terms of things like my career and hobbies.

I think I can relate. Will be 38 in the summer, 2 kids (4 and 7) youngest starting school in Autumn. Feeling a little lost, feel like the last 7 years (since eldest dc was born) has almost been aiming for this stage, getting through the sleepless nights and baby stage, both at school to have more time to get on top of things but now it's actually here I'm not very sure what I'm aiming for and now feel like I don't really know what to do or who I am without my life being all about my babies 🙃

I've just been to the GP as I'm constantly exhausted and I thought I must be deficient in something. A load of blood tests later, it turns out I just have a toddler 😭

My kids have a big age gap but both are demanding ages. One is 12 and the other it almost two 😅😂

Yeah, this is way more common than people talk about. Late 30s can feel like you’re supposed to be “arrived” by now, but instead you’re juggling a lot of responsibility while still quietly evolving as a person—so it can feel like you’re out of sync with your own life. That mix of burnout, shifting identity, and unfinished personal goals can really blur into this “stuck but also stretched too thin” feeling. Having ideas for the future but no space to act on them doesn’t mean you’re failing, it usually just means your current load is heavier than your bandwidth. A lot of people hit this stage and realise it’s less about fixing themselves and more about renegotiating what “settled” even means when life is full-on.

Yes I can relate to this feeling. I'm going to be 40 in a few months and have 3 children (4, 8 and 10), work 4 days in a job which is fine, but certainly not where I saw myself heading.
I feel like my life is consumed by the needs of others and I've lost myself within that. Struggling to find the time, money or energy to make any changes to move closer towards the goals and aspirations that I have for myself and for us as a family.