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Any books or longer-form resources for me to help/understand teen DD awaiting ASD assessment?

4 replies

ShadesOfPemberley · 06/05/2026 10:39

Not diagnosed (yet) but to me it’s a nailed-on certainty that DD age 14 is ND. Kicking myself really that we didn’t put 2 and 2 together at a younger age as she has SO MANY traits that I only now know apply to girls. I was ignorantly thinking that as she didn’t fit what I thought of as ‘classic’ ASD traits that she couldn’t possibly be ND.

teen years seem to be where it’s all going pear shaped. School is very difficult for her (they are being v supportive) as though she has friends and doing great academically she is struggling with overwhelm and the busy-ness, noise, social-ness of it all.

she’s always been extremely rigid and stubborn but obviously more so now she’s a teenager. Could argue hind legs off a donkey and then some. I’m struggling with this aspect (despite placing as few demands on her as I possibly can) and struggling with all the issues around her anxieties and school attendance. She is going in (mostly) but it is HARD and relentless and I am her place to offload about it all.

We are pursuing (private) diagnosis.

In the meantime, what books and resources might help me (so I can help her)? I’ve looked at a lot online (autistic girls related) but was hoping there might be a longer-form book or something that might help.

Any recommendations??

She is high-masking if that is how to describe it? Many people would be ASTONISHED that we (and pastoral staff at school) think she is ND. Whereas I am astonished it took us so long to work it out, going all the way back to early years it is all right there…

OP posts:
Ralphschocolate · 06/05/2026 10:40

Google The Autistic Girls Network. Lots of great information on there.

ShadesOfPemberley · 06/05/2026 10:41

Thank you. I will take a look now. X

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DiscoSnail · 06/05/2026 10:50

Not a book rec but I'm in a similar situation to your DD, just a little older. I really recommend googling around about comorbidities, and checking if anything resonates. A lot of later diagnosed autistic girls/women end up gradually finding new diagnoses and profiles over time, and it's always easier to get ahead of that if there's anything there. I really hope all the best for her, it's hard but gets easier as you understand yourself better.

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ShadesOfPemberley · 06/05/2026 10:57

DiscoSnail · 06/05/2026 10:50

Not a book rec but I'm in a similar situation to your DD, just a little older. I really recommend googling around about comorbidities, and checking if anything resonates. A lot of later diagnosed autistic girls/women end up gradually finding new diagnoses and profiles over time, and it's always easier to get ahead of that if there's anything there. I really hope all the best for her, it's hard but gets easier as you understand yourself better.

Thank you. We do in fact have other diagnoses already (!!), generalised anxiety and OCD. Can now see that these are part of the whole picture!!! Huge thanks for the solidarity x

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