Should I stop with the toddler classes ?

[Cupofteandtoast]

I take DS (19 months old) to toddler classes most days - I’m a SAHM and he doesn’t go to nursery so they are good for keeping a routine and for DS to interact with other children.

Since he started walking at 1, he will not sit down or engage in the classes at all. He’s always off walking round and doing his own thing. Intially I thought it was just the novelty of being able to walk but we are 7 months in now and he has got worse tbh!

I’m starting to wonder if the classes aren’t really for him although I’m not sure how we would fill a whole day without them. I signed him up to a football class but even that he wasn’t interested in

Has anyone else been in this situation ? Does it get better or should I save my money and stop them ?!?

Toddler classes are for you to meet other mums rather than toddlers to learn something.

If they aren’t suited to your child then it’s fine too stop. Based on your description it sounds like he is would like something unstructured.

Don’t worry if he doesn’t listen to the “teacher” right now. Structured classes weren’t for my kids either but by the time they were school aged (4 ish) they were more up for it and listened to instructions.

I think you need playgroups either church or council.

Big hall tonne of toys and they can do their own thing....

Spend the £££ on cake and coffees instead of hartbeeps.

Maybe Forest school once you hit 2 /2.5?

Do you enjoy the classes? Does he? Or is it stressful for both of you, trying to make him do stuff that he doesn't actually want to do?

Can you find classes that suit him more e.g. forest schools or stay and plays, or arrange a regular park meet up with other parents?

What are the classes?
I wouldn't expect a 19 month old to sit still for long. It's too young for very structured activity
Can you replace some of the classes with mother and toddler classes where he can play freely. And take him to the park or swimming instead

We always say our DS started walking at 12m and never sat down again for 15 years, lol. I second the suggestion of unstructured play.

So we do music, football, toddler yoga & a sensory type one. So quite varied but he just doesn’t seem interested !

DD was like this, was off exploring the room and trying to root in the baskets of other people's prams, rather than sit and shake a tambourine while the singing was happening at the music class. It was pointless us being there once she was mobile.

We then spent probably a year just doing the unstructured groups like the church play groups, and then once she was a bit older she was able to engage properly, making the considerable outlay for structured classes worth paying from that point onwards.

My toddler was not a sitter. As soon as he could go he was off, so play groups where they can just wonder around and do whatever they want are fine but to be honest a highly structured class is a bit of a waste of time for that age.

I have been taking my child swimming since 8 weeks, but there were plenty of lessons where he and I ended up just playing at the side of the pool and only joining in little bits and pieces dependant on what he was happy doing. That was no issue at all for our swimming teacher, she just wanted the kids happy but if that's not something he can do at football, or whatever the other classes are then take him somewhere else he can just play freely.

Toddler classes are for you to meet other mums rather than toddlers to learn something.

I feel the exact opposite of this. Baby classes felt like they were useful for meeting other parents - getting out the house for those felt more beneficial to me than to baby. But toddlers can learn actual skills and are a lot kore active so you have less time to sit and chat and meet other parents.

What classes are you doing @Cupofteandtoast? If he enjoys wondering about more than sitting in a circle and listening then weekly swimming could be great for him; you don’t need a class, just go. Or gymnastics. There’s a bit of listening at the start but then he can go off and be active.

i would ditch the classes and instead look for playgroup/toddler groups . These are usually in church halls with a load of toys generally kids will have a snack time and a sing along at the end so it’s still good for socialising but much less pressured and much less stressful for you both. Cheaper too! Most are pay as you go a few pounds to cover costs so if you can’t make it one week there’s no issue

All those classes involve listening. I’d swap to swimming and those church hall type ones that just are a free for all of toys.

Well he likes walking around and engaging with the other mums / the lady running the class. He never cries or whines just does his own thing. I’ll be honest, im not really enjoying them as I’m just constantly having to bring him back to the activity.

I would like to do a forest school but he’s a bit young for the ones that run in our area. Maybe I will have to give playgroups a try again. I used to take him but they were always filled with child minders ignoring their charges & the other children were quite physical which I didn’t like.

I just think that is too many structured activities for a toddler. think he is too young for organised activity unless it's for very short sessions. Like eg a short story session, or a singing session at the end of free play.
His attention span won't be very long yet so he might like to do 10 minutes kicking a ball around, or stretching or singing etc but a full session is too much.
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I would try and explore groups where the children can play freely.Or things like baby gym where equipment is set out for them but they can choose which to play on. Then there is a short group activity too.

I know what you mean about play groups. It did take a while of trying different places before I found a couple that felt like they were working for me. I ended up travelling further afield than my local church groups, and found the parents at the smaller groups much more my cup of tea.

I had this with my older boy. We did continue going to one music class a week with a very lovely and tolerant teacher. My DC1 quite liked her, so sometimes he would engage and be the star of the class, but other times he'd be trying to set off the fire extinguisher.

Tbh we did keep going to that one, because I was also a SAHM with him and felt it was quite good to set expectations of behaviour in a gentle way before pre-school - so the idea of sitting down in a circle, listening to the teacher, taking turns. The rest of the time, we did things that we enjoyed more, like days out, playgroups and playground and park trips.

I used to get fed up too with my DC's behaviour, but I had a chat quite early on with the lady running the class (who was really wonderful - she went on to become a childminder) who said the best thing to do was to ignore the distraction and wandering off unless it was dangerous, participate enthusiastically in the class myself (so I'd be sitting there like a wally smiling and doing all the actions to the songs while my DC inspected the windows 😂) and layer on the praise when DC did participate. And it worked to an extent - DC1 did become more enthusiastic and participated better as he grew older.

If it's any reassurance, DC1 (now 8) has never really had any major issues with behaviour at school. He can be a bit over-enthusiastic sometimes when something sparks his interest and conversely a bit lazy if he's bored, but most of his teachers have said that he's a happy, polite child who is easygoing and participates well, but just needs to run around a lot otherwise he fidgets.