Potty trained for wees but not poos

[Feelslikeaneternity]

DS is just 3, we started potty training 4 months ago. He got the hang of wees within a few days, had accidents as expected but it has tailed off slowly, he’s now very good at telling us he needs to go and taking himself to the toilet. Does his wees independently, flushes, handles own pants and trousers. Washes hands if reminded.

However I think we have had two poos in the toilet/potty total. He doesn’t squat or give any sign that he’s doing a poo, he just does it standing up in his pants. He’s not withholding (I know this is common) he goes in his pants every day and seem to have no issue with this. Eats well, poo seems soft, no straining. Every time we say “poo goes in the toilet not in the pants” and he repeats it after us. Tried a chart, bribery, stickers. Tried getting him involved in cleanup. Tried a potty, a toilet, a step for his feet. The only slight progress is that now he will walk really uncomfortably after doing a poo and will come and tell one of us he’s done it, before he was oblivious. No developmental issues as far as I can see.

is he just not ready? I am loathe to go back to pull ups because he is fine with wees. But I suppose he could wear a pull up and take it down to wee like he does with pants. However he hates his night pull up and often tries to take it off so I’m not sure, and it does seem a backwards step.

Nursery seem quite chill and said that sometimes it takes a while especially in boys.

i know that poos can take longer but it’s been four months and progress is tiny (if you can call it that)! Anyone had similar?

Yep, same boat over here but we’re further into it than you are (6 months).

Only thing we’ve found that helps is spotting the initial signal that he’s about to poo then putting them on the potty. This works around 75% of the time.
We also make a big, positive song and dance about how good it is to go in the potty/big kid etc etc.

We have the added complication that LO is adopted so has some very big shame type feelings when there is an accident and because of when they came to us they were late starting potty training anyway.

It’s very tedious but I think it improves (similar to you we went from being oblivious to coming up to tell us there’s poo in pants to at least trying to sit on the potty etc) it’s just very very slow for some kids.

Sending solidarity. Vaguely similar situation here DS was potty trained in Aug so 9 months ago. Had several days accident free but just hasn’t got it and in the last couple of months it’s got worse - usually 3 accidents a day on average and it’s started with poos having just been wees initially. We’re at our wits end wondering what to do as it’s feels like we’ve tried everything.

I would try and keep track of if he is going at about the same time every day and get him to sit on the toilet or potty for a few minutes at that time.

Also, try and notice if he makes any expression or anything when he needs to go. My daughter didn’t like pooing on the toilet and she would get this look of panic on her face when she knew she needed to go and I would whip her onto the toilet quickly and make her stay there until she went.

Same here although we just have a downright refuser. Perfect with wees, but will not entertain the idea of a potty or a toilet for poos. Will just wait until bedtime for a nappy. History of withholding so reluctant to force the issue. SO frustrating but I think it will just need time? We’ve tried pretty much everything and any kind of pressure (even positive reinforcement/bribes) results in many, many tears and withholding so counter productive in the end. She tells us she’ll use the toilet when she’s 16. I mean….

Thank you for replying, yes I think this is a lot of the problem, I trained both my kids with the bare bum method, plonking them onto the potty when they started to wee/poo to get them to make the association. But my son gives no warning signs that I’ve ever spotted, he pauses slightly in his play but that all you would know about it. He doesn’t squat or hide or any facial expression. And he’s really sick of me asking him if he needs a poo haha. I think you’re right maybe we just put him on the potty every time he looks vaguely as though he might be doing something, there will be lots of false alarms but maybe it will bore him so much that he decides to comply.