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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Advice & Positive experiences of supporting a toddler showing autistic traits before assessment?

3 replies

TheGardenMummy · 04/05/2026 07:24

This is my first time posting but have been reading thousands of threads on the topic. My 2 year old has been showing lots of autistic traits since 18 months for example, he learns a new word repeats every day for a week and then doesn’t say it again. Gets upset and clingy in busy environments unless we’re outside. Doesn’t respond to his name at all but is now responding to some phrases like “knock knock” on the door, “pass to mummy”, “stop” when he’s running, “feeding the ducks”, “bring your book” since having grommets inserted three weeks ago. He avoids eye contact with everyone apart from me and his Dad. Only says Mama, Dada & No consistently. He plays independently and usually laying down and I just narrate next to him but we don’t play together. However, we do read together all of the time and he will sit and listen to all Julia Donaldson stories.

I think as a parent you just have a gut instinct anyways even though everyone tells me he will grow out of these things! For me and my husband, we’re not worried about the label so much as supporting him in every way that we can until there comes a day where he might get a diagnosis.

The wait for an assessment is 4-5 years in my area so I’m looking to see if anyone else was in the same boat as us with a young toddler, do you have any positive stories about their development and if so, what really helped you? We’re looking at speech therapy.

just to mention that I’m a stay at home mum and willing to help as much as I can before he begins nursery next September!

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 04/05/2026 08:29

So has your also already been referred for assessment or are they waiting to see if the speech delay has caused by Glue Ear?

Has he already been referred to SaLT, portage or iscan?

Understanding glue ear in children and temporary deafness

Learn about glue ear, a common cause of temporary hearing loss in children.

https://www.ndcs.org.uk/advice-and-support/all-advice-and-support-topics/causes-types-and-signs-deafness/causes-deafness-and-hearing-loss/glue-ear

TheGardenMummy · 04/05/2026 10:33

The health visitor said that they have referred him to be assessed by a paediatrician but the waiting list is 4-5 years. No other advise or referrals apart from the family centres speech and language group which we attend but recently my son has not wanted to be there!

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 04/05/2026 13:10

I would check with the HV that the referral has actually been made and also ask for a referral to Portage, if it’s available in your area.

The wait is long but you can apply for an EHC assessment now, you don’t have to wait for the assessment Flowers

Asking for an EHC needs assessment

When should a local authority carry out an EHC needs assessment? If a local authority (LA) is requested to carry out an EHC needs assessment by a parent, young person, school or college, it must consider: whether the child or young person has or may ha...

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

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