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Parenting

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Please help me sleep train my 2 year old

5 replies

Iocanepowder · 04/05/2026 06:27

DD is nearly 2 and a half. She has been a terrible sleeper since birth. She had reflux, and was then diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. Had to have tonsils and adenoids removed last summer.

Since then, her sleep hasn’t massively improved. She constantly moves and kicks and wakes up even within a couple of hours of going to bed. I spoke to a sleep consultant who said it sounds like habit from not sleeping well before.

We have a normal bedtime routine but she doesn’t really get herself to sleep.

We then end up bringing her into bed as she won’t settle again and she kicks the hell out of me, including my head and neck all night. She is also tries to sleep on top of me like I am a mattress.

She is incredibly clingy to me. I am struggling with overstimulation. During the day she gives me hell during nappy changes and i am covered in scratches from her.

My 5 year old is then getting up before 6.

For extra context, we are just generally exhausted as a family. One thing after another. An example is that out of our unit of 4, 3 of us have needed surgery in the past 17 months.

How can I sleep train my 2 year old? Do i need to stick with gentle sleep training and gradual retreat, which is proving tricky considering how clingy she is? Or can i try the ferber method at age 2?

I’d be interested to hear from anyone who has sleep trained a 2 year old please.

Any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
MerryGuide · 04/05/2026 06:31

It sounds more medical if shes had all those issues. Did the surgery fully resolve her problems?
Any environmental allergies? Low iron?
Sleep consultant sounds a made up job who only knows how to get people paying to sleep train.

MerryGuide · 04/05/2026 06:32

Sorry I meant to add my sympathies to you, no sleep sucks. I have a similarly one, we improve one thing medically at a time but it feels like whack a mole sometimes

Iocanepowder · 04/05/2026 06:37

MerryGuide · 04/05/2026 06:31

It sounds more medical if shes had all those issues. Did the surgery fully resolve her problems?
Any environmental allergies? Low iron?
Sleep consultant sounds a made up job who only knows how to get people paying to sleep train.

Yes the surgery meant she could breathe through her nose at night. She previously woke up everytime she tried to breathe through her nose.

Absolutely we’ve had things like teething and bugs. No allergies as far as we are aware.

I suppose we can ask GP about exploring low iron.

Sorry i forgot to mention it’s not always, but she does mostly sleep better when staying with her grandparents. Occasionally will be kicky but is known to stay a lot longer in her bed.

I think part of it is an attachment issue with me around.

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Iocanepowder · 04/05/2026 09:30

Any advice please?

Also forgot to mention she doesn’t eat much lunch at nursery as she is falling asleep at the table

OP posts:
SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 04/05/2026 10:04

Well, the good thing about tackling sleep at this age is you can talk to her about it and explain what your approach is going to be, so she'll have some understanding of what's happening.

I would 100% talk to your GP about melatonin. Even just a few weeks to break the cycle would be good.

Look at her diet. I know certain things affect my sleep MASSIVELY! Squash, chocolate, biscuits, cake, ice-cream, any added salt or salty foods like pesto, will all guarantee a dreadful night if I have them for dinner.

Is she getting enough fresh air and physical activity? Take her to the park every day after nursery if you can, or walk her home. Have the bedroom window at least partially open all night.

Set out in advance with her what you're going to do. 'Now that you're a big girl it's time for you to sleep all night in your own bed. It's not comfy for anyone when you get into my bed. We all need to sleep properly, so from now on if you come to mummy I will take you back to your bed.' And then, VERY important, stick to it! Don't allow exhaustion to make you give in or you'll be worse off than you were before.

Make her bed as desirable a place to be as you can. Maybe one of those princess net curtain things? A new cuddly? A special nightlight? New bedding perhaps.

Belt and braces, so as well as being firm with taking her straight back to bed (and I would keep interaction to a minimum here, just lead her back with a 'Night night, I love you' and don't enter into conversation or negotiation), I would implement a sticker chart. Every night she stays in her own bed all night she gets a sticker, and after 5 stickers she can get a special new 'Big Girl' toy.

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