Should I contact school about my Year 7 son being bullied?

Countrylifemama · 2026-04-30T22:10:32+00:00

my DS started secondary school this year in year 7 he told me today that since December a group of kids call him names and refer to him as being gay or zesty I feel awful as he has not mentioned this and it’s been ongoing. He tells them to shut up etc and is taking a stand for himself- he has a boy mate who kids also deem as gay as he is fairly flamboyant and has admitted to being bi and my DS thinks it could be as he is friends with this said friend he’s being called names as association too. should I speak with pastoral care regarding it? And how can I support/say to my DS?

SENsupportplease · 30/04/2026 23:15

Yes you should tell school definitely.

As for what to tell DS, I don’t know, I’m bad at that sort of thing. Praise him for his approach and support him in how he wants to deal with it?

MyNameIsTina · 01/05/2026 12:17

Yes, ask school what they are going to do about the homophobic abuse your son is receiving. This should be treated very seriously. (You don't actually have to be homosexual to be treated as the victim of homophobic abuse)

Plumnora · 04/05/2026 11:45

Please tell the school. At age 7 bullying is bad enough and even though he seems ok, but it can often escalate.
My DD started being bullied in primary school, nothing extreme and I thought she was handling it ok. Fast forward to now, she ran away, aged just 13, a few months ago and took an overdose in school earlier this year.
Shes cited bullying in school and this was after I'd already taken her out of one high school (because of bullying).
I wish I'd done more when she was younger because it may have been enough to nip it in the bud.
That said, schools still don't do nearly enough to combat bullying so I hope your scho is proactive and steps in.

Temporaryanonymity · 04/05/2026 11:46

Yes of course you should.

Perrygreen · 04/05/2026 11:47

Yes. Let them know.

MissRaspberryRipples · 04/05/2026 11:49

I spoke to my daughter's head of year for a lot less. She's also in year 7 and she's very small for her age due to a genetically inherited chromosome rearrangement(this is relevant to my reply). She's much much smaller than most kids her age and even younger than her. She has a few friends who are nice. One friend wasn't so nice when she realised my daughter wouldn't give her things any more. This girl had been asking her for her things like her character cups and asking my daughter to buy her sweets all the time-id seen messages on her phone. She then had the cheek to ask my daughter if she had any clothes she could borrow for non uniform day..when she pointed out no she hasn't this girl replied with don't lie I bet you've not even looked have you and my daughter told her well my clothes won't fit you I still wear age 7 clothes and this girl started making fun of her size and said oh why so short. She'd picked on her a few more times in school
I contacted school and she's not had any bother since.

tarheelbaby · 04/05/2026 11:53

Definitely tell his school. Email his form teacher and his head of year today. They will want to know and should take action immediately. Schools take this very seriously.

Your son my try to talk you out of contacting his school but do not let him. You have a responsibility to all the pupils at that school to report bullies so that school staff can address this.

Encourage your son to keep being himself. Praise him for taking a stand. Ask if he has any questions and if there's anything he'd like to you to do.

Attictroll · 04/05/2026 12:42

Yes speak to the school. Discuss with them what they are going to do about it and expect action. Also explain sensitivities so that ds bullying doesn’t get worse.

Jenny865 · 04/05/2026 13:00

Definitely say to school about it. Email them as you then have some proof youve reported it. Your son did a big thing telling you as most dont say anything. I didn't for years.

From what Ive learned over the years bullies are very unhappy people. Doesn't excuse the bullying. Id put money on it that the bully is secretly gay but too scared to come out 🫣 so he targets people who are comfortable with who they are. That or he has a very very sad homelife 💔 I always tell mine that it says more about the bully then the one being bullied. Bullies try to make you feel as sad as them so they feel good about themselves for a little bit.

Julimia · 04/05/2026 13:24

Perhaps mention it at school but also try and give him some dealing with it strategies.Dont immediately assume that it's only happening to him eoither

MissRaspberryRipples · 04/05/2026 13:31

Jenny865 · 04/05/2026 13:00

Definitely say to school about it. Email them as you then have some proof youve reported it. Your son did a big thing telling you as most dont say anything. I didn't for years.

From what Ive learned over the years bullies are very unhappy people. Doesn't excuse the bullying. Id put money on it that the bully is secretly gay but too scared to come out 🫣 so he targets people who are comfortable with who they are. That or he has a very very sad homelife 💔 I always tell mine that it says more about the bully then the one being bullied. Bullies try to make you feel as sad as them so they feel good about themselves for a little bit.

I think this too. The girl who was bullying my daughter also bullies a lot of other kids in the school. She's nasty to some kids in the year groups above hers. Her siblings are all the same. She doesn't have a very good home life though from what I can gather her parents smoke weed and encourage the older teens to smoke too. They're apparently always scrounging from their friends as their mum doesn't buy them anything other than cigarettes vapes and weed

Jenny865 · 04/05/2026 14:32

MissRaspberryRipples · 04/05/2026 13:31

I think this too. The girl who was bullying my daughter also bullies a lot of other kids in the school. She's nasty to some kids in the year groups above hers. Her siblings are all the same. She doesn't have a very good home life though from what I can gather her parents smoke weed and encourage the older teens to smoke too. They're apparently always scrounging from their friends as their mum doesn't buy them anything other than cigarettes vapes and weed

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I was bullied in school. A few years ago his parents divorced. Turns out Dad was an abusive piece of 💩🫣.

My kids get it from a certain family in their school. Their mother is mates with my cousin who I dont speak to. Long story short the straw that broke the camels back was when my mum was dying of a brain tumor my uncle and aunt was trying to grab what they could money wise before she died. So it didnt end very well. I dont speak to that side now. Because of it my kids get comments. On of her "little treasures" told my child "we like it when family members die means we get money" 😬🫣. Then my cousins mate joins in. We've exchanged words about it 😂 her kid is 13 (m) and goes on to my 16 (f) year old about sex 🤮 I reported him and he was suspended 😂😂 The mates kid boasted about how mum bought 7 packets of biscuits. She has 7 kids. From what my kids have said they dont eat a lot at all. Cant finish school meals 💔 we know how small those portions are. What I do find hilarious is they think theyre hurting us by name calling and trying to upset my kids. They'll keep quiet then they get a taste of it themselves 😂 you know the kids are getting filled with stuff to say because they always have the same rubbish to say. The 13 year old boy even has to ask his sister for more comebacks because my kids out do him 🫣😂 my kids know how i feel on bullying. Theyd get an ear bashing if they started something but if they stick up for themselves im backing them! Heard a few things about their homelife too. Weirdly Drugs have been mentioned. No doubt saving money on food to feed the parents habits 🤮 That 13 year old will bully anyone. Hes vile. Like theres bullying. Then theres that type of bully. I honestly wouldnt be surprised if hes sexually abused as well as neglected. All of its been reported to school to sort out. Maybe im bubble wrapping my kids but I think its purely disgusting when a 13 year old is asking a 16 year old if she fingers herself or has sex with her brothers 🤮🤮 sometimes I think the bullies dont realise they tell people what's actually going on at home or whats going on in their lives without actually confessing.

Millymollymandy4 · 04/05/2026 14:36

I would also explain to your son that the the
reason isn’t his association - it’s because he is In a class with a bully and a bigot - he will meet bigots and sadly bigots usually make their children bigots

he’s doing everything right

MissRaspberryRipples · 04/05/2026 14:43

Jenny865 · 04/05/2026 14:32

I was bullied in school. A few years ago his parents divorced. Turns out Dad was an abusive piece of 💩🫣.

My kids get it from a certain family in their school. Their mother is mates with my cousin who I dont speak to. Long story short the straw that broke the camels back was when my mum was dying of a brain tumor my uncle and aunt was trying to grab what they could money wise before she died. So it didnt end very well. I dont speak to that side now. Because of it my kids get comments. On of her "little treasures" told my child "we like it when family members die means we get money" 😬🫣. Then my cousins mate joins in. We've exchanged words about it 😂 her kid is 13 (m) and goes on to my 16 (f) year old about sex 🤮 I reported him and he was suspended 😂😂 The mates kid boasted about how mum bought 7 packets of biscuits. She has 7 kids. From what my kids have said they dont eat a lot at all. Cant finish school meals 💔 we know how small those portions are. What I do find hilarious is they think theyre hurting us by name calling and trying to upset my kids. They'll keep quiet then they get a taste of it themselves 😂 you know the kids are getting filled with stuff to say because they always have the same rubbish to say. The 13 year old boy even has to ask his sister for more comebacks because my kids out do him 🫣😂 my kids know how i feel on bullying. Theyd get an ear bashing if they started something but if they stick up for themselves im backing them! Heard a few things about their homelife too. Weirdly Drugs have been mentioned. No doubt saving money on food to feed the parents habits 🤮 That 13 year old will bully anyone. Hes vile. Like theres bullying. Then theres that type of bully. I honestly wouldnt be surprised if hes sexually abused as well as neglected. All of its been reported to school to sort out. Maybe im bubble wrapping my kids but I think its purely disgusting when a 13 year old is asking a 16 year old if she fingers herself or has sex with her brothers 🤮🤮 sometimes I think the bullies dont realise they tell people what's actually going on at home or whats going on in their lives without actually confessing.

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They sound like the family in my daughter's school only there's 8 kids in that family. Her older siblings were in the same year groups as my two eldest and my older now adult kids said the same that these kids were bullies and were forever scrounging from others too. Clearly a pattern in their upbringing. My friends daughter knows a few of the kids too and she says their mum and dad smoke weed and spend all their money on it and the kids don't get anything, which is obvious as the girl bullying my daughter was asking her to give her clothes and buy her sweets all the time. It's all stopped now and I told my daughter to stay away from her if the girl can't even be nice. My daughter actually gave her one of her favourite character cups and the kid was ungrateful enough to demand a different straw for it!! I told my daughter don't give her anything as she's mean and ungrateful

Jenny865 · 04/05/2026 15:26

MissRaspberryRipples · 04/05/2026 14:43

They sound like the family in my daughter's school only there's 8 kids in that family. Her older siblings were in the same year groups as my two eldest and my older now adult kids said the same that these kids were bullies and were forever scrounging from others too. Clearly a pattern in their upbringing. My friends daughter knows a few of the kids too and she says their mum and dad smoke weed and spend all their money on it and the kids don't get anything, which is obvious as the girl bullying my daughter was asking her to give her clothes and buy her sweets all the time. It's all stopped now and I told my daughter to stay away from her if the girl can't even be nice. My daughter actually gave her one of her favourite character cups and the kid was ungrateful enough to demand a different straw for it!! I told my daughter don't give her anything as she's mean and ungrateful

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I honestly dont get how some parents think its ok to bring their kids up this way. I'd be mortified if my kids were like this 😭

Noodles1234 · 04/05/2026 18:46

Yes, both he and his friend need protecting and the other boys need educating.

Sadly in Year 7 this can be something that happens and it is wrong and needs stamping out. I hear it tends to fizzle out and people are mainly way more accepting than years ago and I hope this rings true for you.

tarheelbaby · 04/05/2026 19:20

When my daughter was bullied, we talked through what the bully said and worked on some easy, pat, low-key responses so that my DD could diffuse the situation and, if possible, just walk away.

Bullies are often looking for a response - happier people look for a smile or chuckle but bullies want to see the anxiety. So winding them down with a 'big deal, so what' attitude is key.

Bullies learn from other bullies but their 'role models' don't usually know what they are modelling!