Separating while pregnant: are these co-parenting arrangements for baby and toddler reasonable?

[BudgetBuster]

Not sure if this is the correct board, I couldn't find a specific co-parenting one.

Mh husband and I will be separating but I'm currently heavily pregnant and we share a young child. I know there will be a lot of hassle around the seperation of assets / finances etc but I think / hope the custody arrangements will be a bit easier to resolve.

I will stay in the family home, and he will need to find somewhere else to live (again this will all be a big fight I know). I will be breastfeeding this baby when it arrives and to be honest he has only done a few rare bedtimes with the toddler anyway also. He will definitely want 50/50 and I'm not against that in the longer term but I have some stipulations. I'd like to know if these are reasonable:

1. They can't stay overnight if he's in a house share. He needs an actual 2 bed (maybe 3 as he also has a teen).
2. For the toddler we start with 1 night a week and build it up over time. For the baby, no overnights until I stop breastfeeding overnight. And similarly build it up from 1 night a week etc.

My real question though is around access arrangements post-birth and in the early days. I obviously don't want him lingering around the house for ages but I'll be breastfeeding on demand so baby can't really go too far in the early days. I was thinking to perhaps suggest he can come and see the baby, take toddler out somewhere for a while, and then come back in and see the baby when he drops toddler back. Maybe one or 2 nights a week he can come and do baths or something?

He is a good Dad and I don't want to stop his involvement but I also need to leave him so I'm trying to be practical and not let my emotions get in the way.

Looking for genuine feedback - good, bad, anything at didn't think of?

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this OP. Are you thinking that he wants 50/50 because he doesn’t want to pay CMS?

If you BF I think the Family Courts recommend no overnights until they’re 18 months? How old is your Toddler now?

I would also post in the Divorce section about wanting to stay in the family home as I understand that some MNers can find those difficult. Are you actually divorcing or just separating? The Divorce will mean that you will be eventually free from him financially.

I would also ask in the relationship section about your proposed access arrangements. There are a lot of helpful ambers in there with a huge amount of experience between them. They can support you and warm you of any pitfalls

No, he will want 50/50 because he will actually want to play an equal part in his kids life. He fought many years for 50/50 access with his now teen and tbh I don't have any issue with his parenting... he is a good dad. It's just the ages of our children is why I think building up to equal overnight acccess will be better.

We are in Ireland and I think we need a seperation for 2 years before actual legal divorce. But we can do a legal seperation. I'll stay in the family home as I'll buy him out, he won't be able to buy me out.

Thanks for the advice, I'll post in those threads!