Sorry this is a long one. I have a 14 year old daughter, year 10, she was with her ex boyfriend for around 16 months but has ended on bad terms to the point he was telling her to slit her wrists and kill herself (reported this to school), his mom was also texting me saying my daughter needed to leave him alone and stop being a bunny boiler and a brat. She is extremely heartbroken plus suspected ASD (currently going through the assessment) so she is finding it extremely hard to handle this break up and won’t stop texting him which is probably making it worse. I’ve told her she needs to block him on all social media platforms which she told me she had but I took her phone off her today and saw TikTok message from him, she went mental that I had looked at her phone but I felt like I had to to see what she is messaging him (I don’t know if this was the right thing but I’m just at my whits end with it all, she is furious with me for doing this). She doesn’t have any friends, has always struggled keeping them and this is also affecting her mental health. She used to get the bus to school but I can’t trust her to do that anymore as she’d just go to the park instead so I’ve had to adjust my work hours to be able to drop her off but now she refuses to get out the car and teachers have had to come out and help me convince her to go in. But once she is in she will hide in the toilets all day. It got to the point where I actually emailed school to say I was EHE as I just couldn’t carry on seeing her like this. But she said she wanted to go to school after 3 days so we have tried again and it’s now even worse, I had a meeting with the safeguarding lead today who is willing to put steps in place to make things easier such as a soft start (go in at 9:15) and let her go to a safe space if she feels she doesn’t want to go to lessons. I asked her which ones she doesn’t like, she said all of them, doesn’t like the teachers or the other kids and won’t consider moving classes. She is currently in therapy, has only had 3 sessions so still early days. The school are trying to help in any way they can but anything we suggest she just says it’s pointless and won’t change anything, the safeguarding lead asked her to write down a list of what makes her feel anxious when she is in school but she wouldn’t do it and said people are forcing her to do things. She gives up on everything so easily now, she’s failing in a lot of subjects, and it’s not like she isn’t bright because she used to get good grades but now she says she can’t do any of it, it’s too hard but doesn’t know how to ask for help, she did her mocks recently and got a U in English and maths because she didn’t answer any of the questions. Sometimes I say and do the wrong things which I regret straight away and apologise to her but i just don’t know how to handle any of this. I feel like I’m failing her and I feel she is throwing away her future if she carries on like this. I need some help