Worried about how my dog will cope when the baby arrives

[ZiggyStardew]

I’m nearly 6 months pregnant and one of my biggest worries is how my large dog will be with the baby.

She’s a 3-year-old lurcher (26kg), very loving and generally chilled, but can get overexcited and has the odd burst of zoomies. She’s also very reactive to cats and gets a bit anxious and growls at some dogs on walks. She’s quite anxious in general when it comes to noise like fireworks and loud bags (its the greyhound in her).

I think what’s worrying me is I’ve never really seen her around small children, and I’m scared about when baby is growng and moving around (the noise, sudden movements etc).

I’ve read so many stories about people having to rehome dogs after having kids and it’s really got into my head. My dog is my absolute word and she loves us so much.

My partner will be working from home and doing most of the walks, but I know things will change (gates around the house, less attention etc) and I already feel a bit sad about that.

I did look into a behaviourist but it’s too expensive.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice on preparing her or reassuring stories would really help.

I was worried about my dog before our first baby was born & worked with a trainer to prepare him for it as best we could. Got the baby things out early so he was used to them, perfected his place, leave & settle training although he was pretty good with that anyway, played baby crying at increasing volumes and rewarded for calm behaviour etc. He was absolutely fine and adores both of our babies but if I’m being totally honest in your shoes with an anxious and reactive dog I would be investing in a behaviourist, you can’t afford not to. It could be the difference between a bite or not, rehoming or not.

our dog was very upset when the baby cried. It was like he wanted to help her, The vet recommended a plug-in which sent off pheromone similar to what they are used to from their own mother when they are a puppy that and a couple of tablets for 2 to 3 days after that he was fine

Agree with the first comment. I would not be able to relax with an anxious, reactive dog around a baby or small child. I think seeing a behaviourist is a must here.

Thanks to those who have answered so far. I’ll need to look and see if there’s a cheaper behaviourist as I’m really struggling with money knowing I’ll be on maternity pay for 9 months and we have so many expenses for the baby already ( we’re having to get a new bigger car to ensure the dog can go in the back away from the baby).

Her anxiety is only very specific to fireworks and loud banging noises. Around the house and around people she’s super friendly and chilled out. She always walks past other children with no issue. Her reactivity is also very specific to cats and some other dogs. But I understand I need to do what’s best.

I think you might be overthinking this. Cats have nothing to do with babies. Being reactive to cats doesn't tell you anything. Introduce her to some children. If, as you say she is chilled and super friendly with people, why are you worried?

Introduce her to the baby early, let her smell him/her and give lots of fuss and attention. They'll probably be best friends.

My eldest and my dog were thick as thieves. I wondered if the dog would be jealous of the baby or unsettled as he wasn't really what you'd call a chilled out dog. Major dog to dog aggression issues but sweet with people. Nope.

Moment I brought him home, dog was up on the sofa sniffing him, absolutely fascinated. They were in each others pockets every minute of the day and I seriously wondered if ds would ever learn to walk as the dog would pull his walker around for him.

Has your dog had any training at all previously? Babies are loud and when they start moving about they are jerky and make sudden movements which dogs may react to... especially if they have always been anxious and reactive with no training.

We’re always working on training with her, yes, and most of the time she walks very well and is very obedient. It’s just the occasional dog she’ll get triggered by and usually they do something to provoke it. We’ve found it hard to train the fear out of her when she hears fireworks though.

Why are you considering taking any risk with your child? You might feel differently when your child is born and your see how small and helpless they are.

I hope you’re right. It’s honestly because others keep putting the fear into me saying things like ‘I’d think about rehoming now before it’s too late’ and ‘you have to put the child first’ which of course, I know. But I never dreamed I wouldn’t be able to have my dog for life, and the amount of people who have told me that they had to rehome their dog becuase of this or that and that their dog snapped at their baby has been scaring me.

When you say take a risk, sorry what do you mean?

Someone recently posted a thread where their dog has ‘only bitten within the family a couple of times’. Might be worth a read.

I remember worrying about this too, my dog had never been around children and I was very anxious but I’m thankful that when my first was born she immediately had the calmest disposition with him and would just try to edge closer and closer for a lick 😂 even so I was always careful to keep some distance between them and needless to say I would have never ever left them alone together. I now have two, a toddler and a baby and my dog is still very calm and loving with them. She roughhouses with me and my partner but is very careful around the children. If she gets a bit hyper we tend to just move the children completely out the vicinity. To add, my dog also doesn’t like loud noises like fireworks but she’s coped well with the crying when the children were first born. We’d just make sure one of us stayed with her and stroked her to keep her calm. Tbh the reduced attention I still struggle with because obviously I can’t give her as much of my time but my children adore her, and she them so she has gained attention elsewhere!

Will have a look. My dog has never shown any indication she’d ever bite a human before (she adores most people) but I know any dog could turn.

The problem with dogs that are already anxious/reactive and babies is that mostly the solution to the anxiety and reactivity is to avoid triggers and the loud noise of a baby screaming, toddler shrieking, crawling, walking etc are all potential triggers that you can’t really avoid when you all share a house together.

I would really recommend a behaviourist and a good one to try and give you the best start. The best time to work with a behaviourist is BEFORE there is ever a bite or a snap because once an anxious dog has bitten or snapped once it sort of learns “well that behaviour worked to stop the thing I didn’t like” and so it becomes one of their responses to stress and is much harder to undo.

I also think rehoming is sometimes about what is better for the dog rather than being a safety necessity. One of my friends rehomed their dog because although the dog had not bitten anyone or the baby, the dog was reacting and very anxious, was having to spend pretty much 24/7 in a separate room from everyone because of trust around baby/toddler and really that is no life for a dog.

Would my dog be classed as anxious in this instance? She’s only really shown extreme anxiety when she hears fireworks or thunder etc so maybe its situational. Generally, she’s calm and confident and unphased. Not saying you’re wrong btw, its just someone else mentioned I may be overthinking it and just trying to gage if I do have an anxious/reactive dog by comparison.

If it ever got to a point where I feel my dog is unsafe or unhappy, I would do what was best for her. It’s just, I don’t want to jump the gun and stress her out by rehoming her when she may be absolutely fine. It’s just hard to know when this is a new situation for all of us.

I have 2 friends who got dogs before having babies and they were both worried but ended up being totally fine. Dogs were /are lovely with the babies. So not everyone has problems with their dogs when they have a baby. But I will say that both my friends are very involved dog owners who invested a lot of time in training their dogs. I think you need to take action now. I would spend some money on a trainer. I would set up all the baby stuff now so having a crib and toys etc around is no big change. And I would install gates everywhere for peace of mind.

My neighbours rehomed their dog after having a baby but they were terrible dog owners with a barking anxious nightmare of a dog that they never bothered training properly.

It sounds fine to me, OP.

Loads of dogs are reactive to cats. My dog grew up with two cats in our home, was terrified of them as they were the boss, but if she sees a strange cat in the garden then she will take off like a rocket towards it. It’s totally normal and in no way a sign of any aggression towards humans. Dog reactivity is normal.

My dog just wasn’t massively interested in either kid as a baby, I think she found the crying a bit odd so kind of took herself away when it was noisy. Once they got to about 3 she loved it as they would throw her ball and she adores them now and them her.

It sounds like you have a normal dog really, comfortable and friendly around people, many dogs dislike fireworks and loud noises, also perfectly normal.

Ps. you might be better off posting this in the Doghouse forum as you will attract a lot of people here who know nothing about dogs and will tell you you’re a terrible person for daring to have a child and a dog in the same household.

I had an extremely anxious retired working Labrador when my first was born. This dog was and always had terrified of everything but was a good working dog in his younger years. he had never been near any children

Anyway baby came home. Dog sniffed baby and also was fine. When baby started moving, dog was not keen but he just pretended to be asleep and that continued to be his thing whenever he saw a small child coming.
He did eat a few baby socks and chew a few dummies though.

I've got a lurcher that sounds quite similar to yours! I gave birth at home right next to him while he slept on the sofa and he has been nothing but the most tolerant dog alive with both of our children. They are completely different with a new member of the 'pack' as opposed to reacting to an outsider.

Of course all dogs are different but don't freak yourself out and remember that your calmness, and your emotions, have a big influence. So relax and just see what happens.

Edited to add, when they were babies he mainly ignored them until they started dropping food on the floor.

I had a big dog when I had my last child, difference being we got them when middle child was two, so they were used to children. I was still worried though because they had very little concept of personal space, were very heavy and quite exuberant.
I bought a travel cot then playpen so that I could pop them in there if I needed to put them down for a couple of minutes whilst the dog was around, the dog tended to follow me where ever I was going on the off chance there might food, and had very little interest in the small thing until it started wandering around with food !
As Mumbleleaf said , dogs react differently to things within their home to those outside it, mine happily lived with cats but would chase any outside the home given half a chance !
You could always play babies crying on a low volume and gradually increase the volume over the next few months so the sound isn't such a shock to her.