Tips for easier dinner time 1.5 & 3.5yrs

[Norastroud]

Hello, any tips for easier dinner times with a 1.5yr old & 3.5yr old? I am a SAHM & usually do kids dinner at 5/5.30pm. (DH returns at 6.30pm so misses the chaos).

Dinner starts ok but then they start messing around & I practically end up spoon feeding, encouraging both of them to eat each mouthful. I’ve tried putting on Yoto player story, reading a book whilst having dinner or having small activity out eg magna tiles.
i keep thinking how much easier it would be if I just put a screen on in front of them… but any time we’ve done that the 3.5yr old just starts demanding it at every meal which I don’t think is good but would be a whole lot easier.

i was just wondering if many people’s children have dinner in front of a screen?

breakfast is usually ok as they have it as soon as they get up & lunch is usually ok as it’s often a picnic style whilst out & about or if at home younger child might be napping so I can have a more engaged lunch with older child.

it’s just dinner time when they both seem to go wild!!
is it just their ages? Any advice or tips welcomed - thanks!

Do you eat with them? My kids would struggle at that age regardless but if you model good behaviour and family dinner time and such they figure it out eventually. But toddlers are inherently hard work!

Feed them earlier.
Give them veggies as a start/snack as you’re cooking.
Eat at the same time as them so you can model the behaviour you want.
Except that meal times will be short

I think the screen is a slippery slope, unless done with v clear boundaries along the lines of Saturday night is pizza and film as a treat. I’d try to do a bigger lunch when you’re all at home together, takes the pressure off dinner and gets them to eat their main meal when they’re not as tired. Otherwise stick to easy food you know they like and give them a timer of 15 minutes to eat and clear away when it’s up. If they don’t eat a lot then offer a banana before bed. But don’t be pleading and cajoling every bite- it just encourages them to mess around more IME.

I think a lot of children at this age just aren't that hungry at dinner time. I'd make sure there is something they will definitely eat alongside the main dinner, stay positive, and eat something yourself if possible. I tend to give DS a banana, toast, rice cake, glass of milk or similar a while later if he hasn't eaten much at dinner.

I think you have to face the fact it is going to be an utter shit show until they're both over 5. Until then just lots of deep breathing and muttering ffs into the dishwasher.

Perhaps they are not especially hungry? Do you give a lot of snacks? Do they drink (a lot of) milk through the day/afternoon?

My DDs were good eaters at dinner time but didn't snack much in the afternoon - they usually went from lunch (midday-ish) all the way to dinner so by dinner time, they were keen to eat. All the same, they didn't eat as much as adults so 1 portion divided between them was often plenty.

When my DDs were that age, I fed them at a similar time. They ate in the kitchen together at their little table/in the highchair. Very often the neighbours' DDs were with us so they all ate together or they were all over at the neighbours' house. There was chatter and laughter but no messing around b/c they were busy eating.

I didn't worry about cooking much for them. They often ate veggie sticks/fruit and a sandwich or some pasta with cheese/pesto and broccoli or peas. Sometimes they had chicken nuggets - meaty ones recommended by MN, no less - or even occasionally pizza.

I know many on MN are determined that the LOs will eat what the adults are having and/or eat a hot meal at dinner time but my DDs postively thrived on 'picnic tea' as did the neighbours' DDs.

@bunnyvsmonkey nailed it.

mines are 6 and 3 nearly 4 and dinner time is still a shit show for 75% of the time. I mean that’s a 25% improvement than last year…

I eat with my almost 4 year old every night but on the very odd occasion I don’t (maybe once every few months?) I make him one of his favourites and let him have it in front of the tv. If I’m not eating with him I’m usually going out for a nice dinner etc so feel like he should have something fun too! With breakfast we have our yoto because he is ready to tell me a million stories from the minute he wakes up and I need the coffee to kick in first 😅but for dinner we just chat. If he finishes before me and is getting restless sitting I let him pick a quiet toy from the playroom and bring it to play beside me while I finish. I have a 6 month old too that is just starting to join the fun.

Feed them at 4pm. Honestly I know that may sound odd but give it a try. Then depending on bed time, a small snack before bed. Or, try their main meal at lunchtime and a lighter meal at 5pm. It's worth just playing around with different timings/meal types to see which one works best for a while.

Mine always had their main meal in the middle of the day at that age. At about 4.30/5 they then had something like cheese on toast, baked beans, something eggy etc with some fruit and/or yogurt etc

I'd agree with the suggestions to try an earlier teatime or moving their main meal to lunchtime. Eating with them would help enormously too.

Are they snacking in the afternoon? That will affect their appetite at tea time.

What do you do at the start of dinner? Do you sit down with them or are you (understandably) trying to get a few jobs done in the kitchen. I found mine were much better if they had my undivided attention.

Other things you could consider is are they messing about because they're just not that hungry? Or because they know they'll get lots of attention from you if they don't eat? Perhaps try and act quite neutrally about it - oh have you had enough? And then offer some water or even get them down from the table. Mine would often then ask to come back and eat some more (appreciate you don't want them up and down like a yo-yo but it might help break that cycle a bit)

I wouldn’t have an activity out - they’ll just fanny about even more and a screen is not a good idea. I’d eat earlier and swap lunch and dinner so lunch is a more substantial meal and dinner less so.

Do you give them a snack or bottles in the afternoon?

If so, cut that out and do dinner earlier eg 4pm.
Then you can just do a snack of milk, toast or a banana before bed.

Thanks so much for all the replies, glad to know I’m not alone in the craziness - some really helpful tips il try out & il reduce any afternoon snacking! Thanks again 😊

@bunnyvsmonkeyabsolutely this

Do you mean advice about actually eating dinner or are you also trying to cook? I wouldn't attempt to cook if alone with 2 kids of those ages. I would batch cook when DH is home and freeze individual portions (that's what I do with DS). Re eating, I find my DS needs to be hungry. He last eats around 2pm and doesn't get anything until 5.30/6pm.

I don't think this is dissimilar to screens in terms of method of distraction to get them to eat but I read a book and refuse to turn the page of the story until several bites have been eaten!

I meant advice for behaviour at dinner / keeping them engaged with eating.

I do usually eat with them, I think I will reduce any snacking, either try bigger lunches or bring dinner earlier & then offer a snack before bed. I also like the idea of 15mins for a quick dinner as I think I’ve been prolonging it trying to get them to finish their plates!

Definitely stop any spoonfeeding, encouraging, distracting with toys and screens.
If they are hungry, they will eat.
If they're not hungry, get them down and move on.

Feed them the main meal lunchtime. Never expect an empty plate and do not ever fuss them over food. Make extra in the evening for yourself and DH and put some in the fridge to give them the next day. Tea time eggs, beans, cheese, pasta, fresh raw veg, homemade cake/scones/pancakes etc. If you give them homemade sweet stuff they will be full and not crave shop treats normally. Sweet flavoured yougherts are not good. Get plain and add a little jam or honey, or something savory.

Evening main meal will always be more messy and chaotic as they are tired.

Exactly this. Little children need their main meal at lunch time. They are too tired later and just need a light, snack type of meal before bed.

Don't get into the screen habit, and just accept the chaos.

I don't think eating becomes that "disciplined" until 4-6 years old for most kids. (obviously there will be exceptions). And you have a younger one, which will probably make it take longer.

Its fine at those ages to be feeding them parts, and its ok for them to still need help/controlling.

My 2yr old and 4yr old sometimes dont get lunch or just a snack and eat there tea most of the time. If they dont eat it all i put them to bed.

Much easier dinner time! I limited afternoon snacks to an orange & water then did dinner slightly earlier & they both wolfed it down no problems! Also it was quick & over within 15mins - thanks for all your tips. I think I’ve been taking too many snacks out with us like veggie stick kiddy crisps etc that actually fill them up a lot! I mean there was still a bit of messing about but they’re 3 & 1 … so I guess every day will be different but I’m definitely going to stop any snacks past 2pm from now on if I can! Thanks again