Parenting at 25 and 35, and experiences of larger age gaps

[Balancinnng]

Hi, I’d love to hear people’s experiences and perspectives on having children at different ages.

For those who’ve had one child in their mid-20s (around 25) and another later (around 35), what differences did you notice between the two stages of life?

How did your energy levels, mindset, lifestyle, and overall experience of parenting compare? Did anything surprise you the second time around?

I’m also really interested in hearing from people who had a larger age gap between children (rather than the more “typical” 2–3 years). Did it change the dynamic in ways you didn’t expect, either practically or emotionally?

Just looking for honest reflections and different perspectives.

Thanks 🙂

I had a 6 year gap between 2 boys. They were never really at a similar point to share same toys/interests. They rubbed along ok. When youngest was 18 and could go to the pub something clicked. Pretty close since then and have supported each other through careers and heartbreak!

I had mine at 32 and 37. I didn’t really notice a difference in energy levels. Other than you will always be more worn down with your 2nd, I think it’s more about years of parenting rather than age. At 45, yes, I’m exhausted and it would make a difference now. But at 35, I still had loads of energy. I think what helped was having some years in between to live life again. Exercise, travel, nights out, career building, I really recharged between the two of them.

I have 5 years between mine and it’s great. Having a school age child means you get to have the first baby experience again. I spent my days watching tv or reading books and feeding the baby while eating biscuits and drinking tea. I wasn’t chasing after a toddler. I got to go to baby classes and groups without a toddler in tow. They do play nicely when they need to. My older one knows when she just needs to suck it up and entertain her brother for an easy life.

They do have different interests, but we also do things separately so they get one to one time and do age appropriate things.

The only thing I’d say is that my now 13 year old has lots of evening activities. That would be tricky with a baby or toddler. We do need two of us so one of us can go pick her up at 9pm and the other can do bedtime. I have taken ds with me, put him in pyjamas and off we go, but it would be trickier if it was several times a week. But Dh and I each take one so it’s fine. Generally, I don’t ever think a bigger age gap is harder.