To try for a grammer school or not?

[user1479630022]

To grammar school or not?

my eldest son is in year 5. We are coming to a point to choose his secondary school.
he is very bright and very academic.

my husband and I are debating on if we should put him through doing the 11+ and attempting to get into one of the 2 very good grammar schools not to far from us. Or go down the state secondary school route.

neither my husband or I went to a grammar school or even university so this is well out of anything we know.

I would love to know some real truths. Is it worth the stress? Does a child really benifit from attending a grammar school?

also to add he is my eldest, my other 3 children are very different.

thanks so much

Many parents will have had private tutors for their children since year 4, so the competition could be tough and you might have left it too late. If he’s super intelligent it shouldn’t be a problem though.

It doesn’t do any harm to try!

When is the closing date for registering for the selection tests near you? And have you registered? The grammar schools in a neighbouring borough to us closed the registration at the end of March.

edited for typo..

My son decided that he wanted to apply 3 months before the entrance test. We did lots of practice tests for that short period of time, didn’t put any pressure on him at all and he passed. It’s been the best thing for him. He loves school and the opportunities are amazing. He now takes part in rowing, RAF cadets and there are so many other extra curricular activities and experiences. The teachers are great and behaviour isn’t an issue. I would definitely recommend it. Our son has thrived. Good luck!

You’ve still got time - we started at this point in year 5 with our two (exam was first week of September). Make sure you get him to do practice papers, but as long as you’re able to work out how to answer them, you shouldn’t need a tutor.

It’s worth him taking the test if he’s top table and will enjoy the challenge. Frame it as just giving it a go to see if grammar is right for him - but stress that it might not be. But if he passes , it gives you an extra option.

For us, grammar meant no lesson disruption and very well run schools, with an incredibly stable/settled staff body.

I went to grammar. The primary benefits were a) the grammar was all-girl, unlike the comprehensives, b) grammar was an environment in which the girls as a body disliked bullying enough to consistently intervene when the one bully in the year started on the undiagnosed-autistic harmless weirdo (me), even if they hastily retreated to their own friendship groups afterwards, c) calm lessons without paper aeroplanes and thrown chairs, and d) amazing extracurricular options.

I didn't get any tutoring, my parents could not have afforded it. I insisted on taking the exam, knowing that there was a high chance that I would not get in because we lived outside the catchment area and I was going toe-to-toe with girls who had been to private prep schools. Having said that, I had an enormous motive to try my hardest that won't apply to your son because an all-boy school won't protect him: I'd been sexually assaulted in primary school, so getting into a male-free school was critical for my physical safety and mental wellbeing. I did all of the few past papers that my primary school could offer and focussed really hard on the day because that was the only chance I had of learning in safety for the next seven years.

The important thing is that you explain to him that he might not get in, just as he might enter a maths competition and not get a prize, and that it's worth trying anyway. And get him some past papers if you can, so that he is used to the question styles.

The best thing is to go and see the schools if you haven't and check out any registration processes - sometimes you need to register by a certain date in summer term of year 5.

My daughter was tutored from year 4 but we already knew she'd have a good chance of passing. The tutoring helped with exam practice and any gaps from her primary. Please remember that many candidates will have been tutored for 2+ years before the exam for up to 3 hours a week, plus homework.

The questions are hard and whilst ex h and I could answer them and give guidance, neither of us are teachers and we preferred to have a qualified teacher to actually show her.

It is 100% worth the effort in my opinion. A bright child will do well anywhere but I think a more academic environment suits some children more and if you feel it will suit your son then I would say go for it.

If you can, register to take both tests and good luck!

Are the comprehensives good? How far are they compared with the grammar?

DC1 is very bright and sat the 11+ and failed it. They went to the local comprehensive, came out of there with 4xAstar at A-Level and a place at a top
unj. They graduated a couple of years ago with a 1st, applied for 4 jobs, got 1 and is now working full time in that job.

I’m certainly not trying to dissuade you from applying for the grammas but I trying to point out that it may not make any difference. I went to a grammar myself and very happy there. I really liked the intellectual environment. DC1 was also very happy in their comprehensive.

(Grammar is a State Secondary, but that's an aside.)

Are you in an all selective area like Bucks or Kent, or are you in a mixed / super-selective area where lots of more able children don't go to grammar?

Presume no chance of just moving to an area with good comprehensives and avoid all the 11+ stress?

I went to a comprehensive school, my partner went to a grammar school (different parts of the country - no grammar system where I lived). If you have an academically gifted child, they're normally going to have a better experience at a grammar - more stretching, interesting school trips and extra curriculars. I would have LOVED my partner's grammar school. The kinds of jobs his sixth form friends went on to do compared to mine are also very different. It seems that grammar school opened up a lot of opportunities for all of them. But the parents are also a big factor in that - lots of people coming from professional and university-attending backgrounds sets expectations higher.

Hi OP
I'm in the same situation as you with my DS currently year 5 and very academic but also a very high achieving sports man too...... I am currently looking at the 2 Grammar Schools (local-ish) to us. His current yr 5 teacher has been pushing this year to apply and get his place for entrance exams as she believes he would thrive. I have a couple of practice papers which I am going to start getting him to sit, his teacher has advised us against getting a private tutor and has offered to support him as much as she can. Like you OP neither me or DH went to Grammar and neither of us went to Uni either. The 2 local Grammar Schools to me have open evenings early Jan and exam registration opens early May until early Sept with the exams being sat late Sept this year.

I worry as when putting options in with the LA I worry if he doesn't get a space at either of those he would end up in a terrible School in all honesty much of the other options local aren't at all where I want my kids.

Honestly, I think it’s worth at least trying if he’s naturally academic and would enjoy that kind of environment. You don’t have to treat it as “all or nothing” or make Year 5 miserable with constant tutoring either.
We’re going through it at the moment with our twins and one thing I realised quite quickly is that a lot of the stress seems to come from parents feeling they need years of expensive tutoring. We ended up doing much less than some people around us - mainly 1 tutor session a week plus shorter regular practice at home focused on reasoning/timed questions.
What actually helped most for ours wasn’t endless papers, but getting proper explanations and identifying weak areas early before they became habits. We found a really good online resource for this which ended up replacing a lot of the extra worksheets/homework we were paying tutors for (in case cost is a factor).
I’d definitely register and give him the option. Even if he decides later it’s not for him, at least you won’t be wondering “what if”.
Happy to share any of the practice resources we’ve been using if helpful.

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