Should I increase my three-year-old's preschool hours or keep precious time together?

[Curlyfifteen]

Hello, I am a sahm, graphic designer/artist with a 3 yo and 7 yo. Financially we are ok on one income but I really enjoy my work especially art making and have done it in naps and after bedtime for the last 7 years. I have also started teaching some ad hoc art workshops. In addition to this my time is is needed for life admin, tax returns and my other small rental business.

My 3yo started preschool in sept and only just seemed to have settled, it was a big dialema and I nearly pulled her out as she wasn't settling.

My 3yo just got the 15hrs funded care. She currently uses just 8hrs (2 mornings) and thinking to add a 3rd morning but feel terribly guilty I am letting go of my precious time with herr before she goes to school.

We trialed 3 mornings last week (tue, wed, thu) and she looked ok, went in fine, happy when collected, but when I asked she said she doesn't want to go to preschool.

I spent the 3 mornings working, exercising, tidy the house, and there was not a spare moment.

What should I do? I know she prefers to be with me and I love her to bits but also there are different parts of me that I supress when I am a parent. Will I regret missing this time with her or should I take all the help I can get even if she is less keen to go to preschool. I don't know what is best all round.

When does she go to school? September 2027 or September 2028? If you can manage both your life admin and your work in the 2 mornings that she’s going to preschool (you mention you’ve been doing this for years, did you have any childcare for the early years?), maybe stick with 2 mornings and let her decide when she’s ready to move up to 3 mornings. She may very well decide she loves it and beg to go for more days!

FWIW, my 4 year old did 5 mornings a week a nursery. This just about allowed me to work part-time, but our home was frankly, a tip 😅 The fact that you can manage on 3 days at nursery or less is impressive!

And yes, I do think this time before they start school is very precious but as with everything there should be a balance (in my case, I needed breaks from my delightful child) 🤣

I’d try it for a bit longer. It does a while to settle.

All my 4 went to playschool 5 mornings term time the September before they went to school to get them used to the routine so they would be ready for school. They were all nearly 4 when they started.

I think that would be fine. What if she went for 2 full days rather than half days? I've heard a few times that half days can be more unsettling for them as they get comfortable then it's time to go home again.

My four kids have all started nursery between 1 and 2 years old and went for 2-3 full days until school. I currently have 2 (aged 3 and 1) in nursery and they both now go for 3 full days. I have one day a week at home with each of the youngest on their own, 1 day with both of them and 2 days with no kids when I try to fit in everything I can't get done any other time!

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I would use all the hours she needs to get school ready or it’ll be a huge shock , and then when you get your jobs done the time you have with her will be better quality time

I did have her 2-3 hour naps for some time as with her sister. These ended earlier this year so I have gone from 2-3 hrs a day (weekdays, weekends it was 121 time with eldest) to just twice a week.

She is 3 and starts reception in september 2027.

The idea of her wanting to go would be reassuring.

I think three mornings a week at three years old is fine. Normally I'd say keep the time with them, but three mornings a week is hardly anything. You've still got loads of time together, it's basically just replaced the long nap.

Well tbh she used to nap 2-3hrs every afternoon until about January/Feb and that was amazing. I could do a lot. I also have a good husband. But there is no family to help (not saying that it's their job to but it would of course be helpful if it were available).

The full days are worth considering in the future but for now she takes a short 20min nap randomly 1-2 times a week or else she looses the plot. Maybe once that passes I can consider a full day. I would also have to change her days for that (and potentially different children would be there) as she currently goes on the days older child has later pick ups (school clubs) - I would need to pick them up at a similar time.

Mmm that is a good way to look at it, replacing the nap... I never thought of that.

I'm not too worried about school ready as thats still so far away - a year and a half. Developmentally she will change so much by then. She is already keen to go to her sisters school strangely enough (but 3 years say lots of things I suppose).

I'm in a similar position, as a sahm with a 3yo and a 7yo. When my 3yo was that age she was doing 4 mornings a week since age 2 and that was great for her. I did miss the days we had together but we had school holidays and the weekends, and it's still far more time than most dcs spend with their parents (I'm in an area where most mums work ft).
I think that just 2 sessions means she won't get the chance to fully settle as she won't get used to the routines. I think 5 mornings is the norm for that age (the whole cohort at our preschool did 5 mornings but we didn't attend for one of them as she did a weekly activity elsewhere).