Advice re working hours with one dc at primary school and one dc at nursery

[Peanutbutteryday]

Hi all. I’d really welcome anyone’s experience / thoughts on working patterns. I will have 1 x dc starting primary school, and 1 x dc who will be turning 2 at the same time.

Currently fortunate enough to work four days with flexi working and wfh 3 of those days. I tend to have dc in nursery c 8am-430pm. I do all pick ups and most drops (DH has a demanding job and I am happy to do this)

when dc1 starts primary I have two options and would be grateful for thoughts. I’m not worried about the costs as such, just what will be best for me in terms of rushing around and the dc in terms of down time.

nursery and primary are in opposite directions

1. spread my current 4 days a week, ie 30 hours a week across 5 days so I do 6 hours a day. Dc1 at primary will then not need wrap around care. Dc2 however would need to go to nursery FT although I’d pick her up early each day. I don’t mind the costs. However it would mean dc2 would miss out on having the full day with me not working that dc1 had

2. option 2 is I stick to 4 days a week working but that would mean dc1 has wrap around after and before primary. DC2 still has one day off with me in full. I feel like this option is more rushing around as I’d still want to get dc2 no later than 4.30 from nursery but as above nursery /
   primary in opposite directions

above is term Time only

when both dc are at primary I’ll almost certainly do 5 short days so no wrap around

what has worked for you? What has not worked for you?

I would do option 1. It is nice to have the day off, but not at the expense of overall quality of life. This is generally the pattern Dh and I have worked with ours in primary/secondary. One of us always does the 9-3 day (the other may need to work later) and the school run and it works well.

Option 1 is exactly what I do.

I do option 1 and have done for the last 3 years.
I do have to use breakfast club at school because of my commute time. I work 8.30-2.30 but half hour commute each way - mostly in the office now with the odd day WFH.
It works well. DS8 gets picked up straight from school, we then have an hour or so before we go and pick DD4 up from pre school.
I do find my days rushed but being organised helps this. It is very much get up, drop off, work, pick up 1, sort dinner, pick up 2, eat dinner. I don't get much time in the week to do much. But I prefer it to having one day off a week

If you go with option 1, how will you get up to your full 30 hours? Even if you work straight through with no breaks (which your employer may not be happy with), it won't be a full six hours each day by the time get to/from school.

How long is the commute to your office? Would your employer be happy with you in from, say, only 9.30 to 2.30, assuming a half hour commute?

Is there an option in the middle, where DC1 does a couple of days of wraparound, and DC2 maybe does a half day at nursery on Friday, but you're off Friday afternoons?

I think I could easily fit in 6 hours as my employer is flexible and I’d only go to the office one day a week. On the day I went into the office DH would do drop off so I can get into office early. Regardless door to door commute is 30 mins. Primary school 5 min walk.

so wfh days I could do 9-3 (drop off 8.45 and pick up 3.30). Office days I’d just start earlier. So fortunate in that regard

i coukd do half hour in the eve too which I often like to do anyway to pick up all of the emails from that day and prep for next day

Thanks that’s how I feel the shorter days would offer better quality of life for all I think. However just feel bad dc2 won’t experience the special one on one day I had with dc1 before starting school.

Are your hours fixed or can you also built up some toil - I was just thinking of things like illness and school events/shows/early finishes.

Do you only work term time?

Option 1 sounds good as wrap around care is a lot for reception kids.

But personally I would choose option 2. I like that special day and have chosen that option myself.

It also gives me flexibility if I need to swap my days for illnesses or events.

I have one in Yr 1 and one in preschool. I work 30 hours over 4 days and have the day with my preschooler as I think that is fair to him. My daughter didn't go to nursery 5 days so nor should he. Actually he still goes more that she did because I only sent her a couple of days when I was on maternity leave with my second and my husband was only working 3 days a week when she was 1 because of covid. We are lucky that our after school club can be used ad hoc so we use it when neither of us can nip out to collect our DD at 3.15. She goes on average 2 days a week. On days we bring her home we make up work hours in the evening. It is hard work but feels fairest on both kids. When my DS starts school in 2027 I plan to work 5 short days. It will make a massive difference not having kids to collect in opposite directions!

I did option 1 and still do now both DC’s are in school, but I’m lucky that school is 7min drive from home and work is 11min drive from school so can work 9-3 5 days, also husband works a 7 day rota so has one weekday off a week when he does drop off and pick ups. Also means that afterschool clubs (swimming/ballet/football etc) are easy to manage as one of us can always take the kids to them

Would you be able to request a hybrid approach where you work 2 9 hour days, and 2 6 hour days?

This gives you your day off a week with DC2; and minimises the wraparound you need with DC1. And (although it will make for a long day) I'd suggest making one of your longer days the day you work from the office, go in as early as you can and leave DH with the morning routine at home.

I do 22hrs per week spread over 4 days. So Mon and Thurs i finish in time for school pick up, Tues and Weds i work full days (and DD1 goes to ASC). Fridays i have off. DD2 goes to nursery (which is open 8-6pm) on a Mon-Thurs. Ive only been doing this since Sept as DD1 is in reception, but so far, it is working really well for me and my manager (who is the head of our division) is very supportive as well. Being around 4days a week (even if not full days) def gives me better coverage than when I just worked 3days per week. I dont come back to as many emails on a Mon either. I hate the ASC nights as they are always such a rush for bath, dinner, bed, reading etc. I love the two afternoons when its just me and DD1 at home for an hour or two before we get DD2 from nursery. So for that reason, I think I'd favour option 1 and not have the asc rush every night.

Thanks everyone some really helpful comments.

@redskyAtNigh my employer is v flexible so I could request long days and I know long days are very popular but it wouldn’t work for me. I know that I’d get too stressed / exhausted trying to fit the extra hours in to one day on top of kids stuff, and I like to do some exercise myself too. But I know it is a popular option

I guess the other thing with option 2 is if I have done my hours I could pick dc2 up early on Fridays. But the problem with the toddler age is they nap 12-2 so there’s minimal point collecting at 11 to just then nap. Followed by waking at 2 is basically collection time. I guess it may work when they drop their nap

Watching as will have the same dilemma soon. I’m leaning towards option 2 as full time nursery is very expensive but I need to confirm the cost of afterschool club. I feel bad for my 2nd if she won’t get the same time off with me that my first did. I wish I could cut my work hours further.