Overwhelmed with three kids

[ThisSharpHam]

I recently had my third baby (she’s 8 weeks old) and I have a 4.5 year old and a 2.5 year old. My 4.5 year old is so helpful and loves to help with the baby. My 2.5 year old is really testing me with his behaviour and can be really full on. My husband works long hours and isn’t normally home until 7-7.30pm most nights.

I am struggling and overwhelmed. I wake up most mornings so anxious about how I’m going to do it all. I have been loosing my temper way too often and yelling at my 4.5 year old and toddler. I am so easily irritated over things that’s normally wouldn’t bother me too much. When my older two get too loud or be silly I get so frustrated. I am then overcome with guilt and feel so awful like I’m the worst mum in the world. Most nights after they have gone to bed I cry and just feel like I’m so mean for getting angry with them. It’s like I can’t regulate my emotions when the baby is crying and they aren’t listening and being silly. My 2.5 year old also throws big tantrums and I find that also really sets me off.

I am so worried that me getting angry and yelling at them is going to ruin them and that they will hate me. Everyone keeps telling me it will get easier and it’s because I’m

not getting much sleep with a newborn but I feel like there is something wrong with me and it’s not normal to act like this. I feel like I’ve lost the fun/happy mum side of me and I’m worried they think that of me. I suppose I’m just looking to hear from anyone else that may felt the same or the reassurance that things will get better

I had 3 under 3.5! Crazy now i think of it (they are all teens)
i had a cleaner once a week and a mother help three evenings a week for 2hrs in the evening ( 5-7pm and DP coming home at 7pm).
playgroups, mums friends, nursery, pre-school all this became my “village”.. and it still is now…in different ways. You wont get a medal by doing it all on your own, but you might gain friends and have some fun if you get some help!

I had my first three in three years and can empathise a lot with what you’re experiencing. I had no family locally and things that helped me were: drinking too much coffee, taking them all to local playgroups every weekday morning, contacting Homestart who provided a volunteer to come and help for a couple of hours once a week, running in the evenings once my husband was home from work, friendship with other mums and drinking wine with them. It’s hard but it’s worth it. Good luck!