Child's father wants contact again after repeated let-downs, unsure what to do

[BioMommy]

I’ll try to keep this brief, essentially was in a short relationship and got pregnant my DD is now almost 4. Her father decided early on in the pregnancy he didn’t want to be involved. Despite this I kept him updated but nothing back until I went to CMS. He denied she was his etc (obvs she was) then he started aggressively calling etc, then heard nothing until 2 years ago, when he wanted to meet her. I met him first ran through a few things and arranged it. He let her down 3 times with varying excuses, eg, 4 days after the arranged meet up, said he had work, then another occasion where he failed to show said it was because of not confirmed ( despite me giving him the time / date etc and us waiting for him) and then another time texting 20 mins beforehand to say something had come up and couldn’t make it. Then heard nothing until Mother’s Day when he sent a message blaming his friend for getting in his head and that’s why we’re not a family unit. Etc
So, fast forward to now, he wants to meet her. I’ve spoken to him to try to ascertain what is now different but he couldn’t explain, he offered now explanation or remorse for his past behaviour he ‘just wants to focus on the future’ and have a ‘proper father daughter relationship’
I am so scared and worried he will let her down again, and am so dubious about his intentions given his past behaviour. What do I do, I honestly feel so overwhelmed?

I would either give him one more chance, say it’s once one and not tell your child in advance or just say no and tell him to take you to court.

Document every failure to turn up. Better if you use an actual family app. Don't tell your daughter about possible meetings until he's outside the door.
I would start small. A half hour visit to a park. Your daughter doesn't know him and will need support. Do not allow him in your house!

So is he paying child support?
Don't tell daughter, just telling him your gonna be a park, soft play, walking by river on what ever date and if you see him your see him

No, he did pay for a whole, but not now. He was made redundant last year, but I’ve since found out he has set up his own limited company, so I expect he’ll be self employed and paying himself the minimum.

I would ask for consistent indirect contact first eg a letter /card and photo or video message once a week or fortnight , show he can be consistent with that, then a visit in the playground once a month, if he is consistent build up from there