Just wanting a bit of advice on whether I am in my rights to stop my 2 year old (nearly 3) having overnight stays with his dad at weekends due to the following reasons:
- He has chosen to move 45/50 minutes away from DS and has no transport to get him to and from and completely relies on his girlfriend (who is not always available to do drop offs and pick ups due to other commitments)
- DS goes to nursery 3 times a week and quite often he is missing nursery due to dad saying he is 'unable' to get him there due to girlfriend having other commitments. Getting the train is an option but there is always an excuse as to why he can't do this (Nursery starts at 1pm)
- A few weeks ago I made the effort to take DS's dummies away and he has been without them since at home but as soon as he goes to dad's he is given a dummy again and the reason he gives me for this is because he was having a meltdown.
- DS will be starting a different nursery at a school in September due to being closer to home and dad has told me he can't go on Monday's because he can't get him there because of where he is living and the time this will start will be 9am.
- DS has been returned home early a few times, either as a result of DS being poorly and dad can't cope with him or dad making alternate arrangements on 'his weekends' with his son, even though I work on Sunday's so this makes it quite difficult for me so I then have to make other arrangements for DS on dad's weekend.
- DS quite often returns home and says swear words or disturbing phrases and when asked where he has heard that he will often say from his dad. I have also been told the children of dad's girlfriend quite often swear. DS is also bad for hitting once he has returned from there, so I am unsure of what the environment is like.
I will also add that before dad got into a relationship with his gf he was not seeing DS very much and would constantly cancel/rearrange days and change plans and expected me to do all of the driving around to do drop off and pick ups, which I don't think is fair to be expected of me as that is his responsibility.
Dad very much likes to be in control of each situation and will never compromise with me and always goes against my suggestions and what I say so talking to him to resolve this is not an option, this has been an ongoing issue since around August/September when he moved in with his girlfriend.
I am basically just asking if I am within my rights to stop the overnight stays in DS's best interests due to the reasons stated above, I have expressed these concerns to dad but he does not care and tells me I have no right to do that and that he will take me to court. I am not saying I will stop all contact, but until he has a means of transport for his son and a bit more stability in him having him then I would rather have him sleep at home instead of worrying about the next phone call asking to change/rearrange something for it then to blow up into a big argument when I say no, due to work commitments or having no one else to have DS, as he tends to leave things until the last minute!
Thank you so much for reading and I just hope to get a bit of advice on the matter and your thoughts as the best way to go about this, obviously there is so much more I could add onto this post about other things that have gone on but these are just the basics! :)