Toddler suddenly getting upset, wanting to go home

[CwinkleCwinkle]

My 2 year old (26 months) has recently started getting really upset out of the blue when we're out and about, even doing things she really loves. She will be happily enjoying something and all of a sudden she bursts into tears and says she wants to go home. She's done it with her childminder, when she's been with just me and when she's been with me and her dad. Once she's out of whatever environment she got upset in, she normally settles down and we carry on.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I think it must be a phase but I'm just wondering what's behind it and if there's anything we can do to help her.

It's most likely just sensory overload/emotional overload.

If you watch her you'll start to spot patterns. Then you can avoid the places that are a bit much for her or just help her take breaks whilst there.

What places has it happened - fun/exciting places?

Remember excitement and stress do similar things to the human system - raised heart rate, churning stomach etc.

Hunger, thirst, tiredness don't help.

She's probably tired.

Why are you out and about so much?

@newornotnew all sorts of places, but they've all been places she enjoys. Possibly finding it hard to deal with big exciting emotions? I really don't know. I'm very into helping her identify and deal with her emotions but this is flummoxing me a bit. So far it's been at the beach, in a cafe, a toddler group. It's been while she's eating, when she's just finished eating. She gets a nap at home/childminder's nearly every day - very rarely do we do car naps. Not that I'm ruling out tiredness/hunger etc, just that none of those things are really any different to how they would usually be and her behaviour generally is pretty good. I'd say this has been the last 2-3 weeks, but it's a very noticeable feature of those few weeks.

@tnorfotkcab I don't think I've given the impression that we're out a lot but anyway, it's consistent with how it's been for pretty much her whole life. She is fighting bedtime something terrible at the minute but she does sleep well otherwise. She does seem tired but if she would go to sleep at bedtime she'd be getting plenty of sleep!

Just rein it all back in, stay at home more.

I'm very into helping her identify and deal with her emotions but this is flummoxing me a bit. She's two, she can't even name her emotions yet. You have to just accept her feelings are being expressed appropriately for her age and respond - by going home.

So far it's been at the beach, in a cafe, a toddler group yes all very stimulating.

Agree with other poster - do less outside the house, let her rest more.

Especially as she's not sleeping: She does seem tired but if she would go to sleep at bedtime she'd be getting plenty of sleep! - while she's tired you need to factor in the extra upset that will come.

Remember you don't know what's going on inside - development leaps take up LOADS of energy, disrupt sleep and everything else.

Im not sure why other posters are suggesting you stay home, nothing you’re doing sounds unusual!

Id just try and make sure she has a nap (if possible) and maybe take her to somewhere quiet, give her a hug whilst you’re out to let her decompress a bit

She can name her emotions and tells us if she's happy, sad, tired. Sometimes. Other times she cries, stamps her feet, whatever. All understandable. But I totally take it on board, we will factor in quieter days over the next few weeks and hope it helps.

I’m laughing at “why are you out and about so much”. Because she’s 2!! She’s in the position to go to the park and toddler group, perfectly normal to be out and about. You’d both go nuts at home all day.

My DD is just turned 3 and went through a little phase of this at about 2 and a half! She would announce she wanted to go home when out and about a couple of times a week and get a bit whingy about it. It would be out the blue and it seemed she was having a lovely time until she would suddenly decide she wasn't. She did it for a month or so and then just stopped. I think it might have been a little power play 🤣 just to see if she had the authority to send us home!

She will still ask to go home in context, like if we are doing something boring but necessary

She can name her emotions and tells us if she's happy, sad, tired. Sometimes.

I completely understand the intention and value in naming feelings early - but don't overestimate her processing ability.

However much work you do, she's just not going to be able to say to you 'I feel simultaneously happy to play with the other children, sad that Jess took the red truck, angry my mum wouldn't let me having a fourth biscuit and self-conscious about speaking in front of strangers' - she's just going to cry because she wants to go home.

Most adults lose it once they feel multiple things at once!

@Mushroo thanks, did wonder if I was going a bit mad!! If she doesn't nap it's almost always because she's refused it, and that is rare.

@Carrie76 haha, it must be that fast paced life I lead (not!) We're going to have a potter at home and in the garden tomorrow though.

@Cathmawr that sounds like exactly what it's like - except she's not a bit whiny, she is full on bawling! But it just seems so out of the blue when it happens!

@newornotnew you've picked me up the wrong way, I've not expecting things from her that are beyond her years. It was more of an off the cuff remark.

I’m assuming she’s not potty trained? When my older DS was first potty trained, he used to get upset and say he wanted to go home and it always meant he needed a poo.

My younger one says he wants to go home and watch Peppa any time he’s tired.

Not much help I’m afraid.. it could be anything really. Hopefully it’s just a phase.

I’d guess there is lots of development going on and she’s tired. Around that time is quite important for language development (and frankly sleep went to shit because their brains are so busy all night). Even if you think she’s sleeping well, she’s going to be tired.

It's very probably just a phase, just reassure her with a cuddle and say ok let's go home now. She could be having a growth spurt and feeling extra tired. Keep an eye on it and try and make some notes so you can see if there's any preceding factors. Note down the day, time, activity, how much sleep, what she's eaten etc and see if you can see a pattern over the next few weeks. Most of all, don't let her see you looking anxious (even if you're feeling it!) try and respond calmly and breezily cheerful like it's nothing to worry about.

Over stimulated, tired, I would cut back a bit.

What a weird and unhelpful response. Nowhere at all is it implied they are out a lot.