Anyone else dealing with extreme picky eating in a toddler?

[Thuraya17]

Anyone else have experience with extreme picky eating? I’m not looking for advice, just solidarity I guess. I’m about to try all of the things I’ve been recommended such as not offering other options for at least 1 hour etc etc, like keeping their routine consistent and always offering one safe food. With that said, I just want to know I’m not alone.

My son used to eat really well, until he got hand foot and mouth at around 19 months and got really picky afterwards. He didn’t seem to struggle with the illness at all, it was actually quite mild but after that he kind of went off a lot of foods.

We have to move every 9 months or so and we travel during the 3 months of summer to see family as my husband is an athlete and that’s just the nature of his job. Our son seems to have got picker and pickier as we’ve moved. We tried staying in one place whilst my husband travelled but we all struggled being apart, especially our son, he missed his dad and we could tell he was struggling emotionally.

In general, there was always a handful of meals I could make and he would always still eat. Then I got pregnant and was diagnosed with HG (for a second time as I also had this when I was pregnant with my son) and I’ve been really struggling to cook his favourite meals. I feel like over the weeks he’s now refusing all food. He just wants milk, biscuits and plain bread. He didn’t even know what biscuits were before but I was eating them as soon as I opened my eyes as not too vomit 😭

Hes only 2 and 10 months, I’m trying to get him back on food now that I’m medicated and feeling at least a tiny slight improvement. He’s melting down whilst we sit at the dinner table, refusing to even sit my his plate. He’s not naughty, he’s not spoilt, he’s literally the dream 2 year old, I always talk about how this boy barely ever tantrums. He looks genuinely terrified of the food. I just feel like I’ve ruined him because he was such a good eater and we moved around a lot and then I got pregnant and now he’s done a U turn.

Hes ate blueberries, yoghurt, toast and a tiny bit of egg today, and half of my peanut bar. Thats it but thats almost a breakthrough because there was blueberries and a bite of egg. This is hardly any food and the fact this feels like an improvement is terrifying. Is anyone else struggling with something similar?

Honestly, please try not to worry. Toddlers can survive on very little food and they often go through a phase of grazing rather than eating full meals. Get some multivitamin drops to put in his drink and offer snacks little and often rather than sit down meals for a bit. Get some play food or let him help you make stuff in the kitchen. Above all, don't make a big fuss if he tries something new and don't show disappointment if he doesn't eat something. You want a low pressure, fun atmosphere around food. Eggs, blueberries and yoghurt are all great foods so you can build on that. If he's happy with bread, try making some sandwiches with marmite, jam, peanut butter or a little bit of grated cheese and give him some little cutters to make shapes with them?

I have extensive experience of this personally and professionally. Our daughter was an extreme food refuser. An illness can trigger the response at times

Look on The Infant and Toddler Forum for the food factsheets for extreme food refusal in toddlers.
Any information or books from Dr Gillian Harris or Dr Liz Shea will be helpful.

As a parent it’s really tough and you will get lots of judgement and unhelpful or unwanted advice. The best thing to do is not let him see your anxiety
( easier said than done) and give him things you know he will eat. Abidec drops are good.
Good luck.

My son is the same age and also a picky eater (always has been)
He is slowly improving. Hot food is a no no at the moment though apart from sausages, green beans and carrots.
He eats most fruit & veg apart from potatoes. He survived on mostly toast for about a year.
Things will improve, I doubt it is the moving about etc that has caused this, it is not your fault at all, some kids are just different to others. Please don’t beat yourself up about this.
My tips would be to offer different foods everyday on the same plate as some food you know your child will eat.
Today my child had shreddies for breakfast, dry with the milk separate.
For lunch he was offered lettuce, cherry tomatoes, cheese, peanut butter on toast and watermelon. He ate all of the lettuce and some of the watermelon.
He had a banana at 3pm which he asked for (never, ever asks for food normally.
For dinner he had 1 pork sausage, carrots, green beans. He also had a breadstick.
He was offered yoghurt (Greek style natural) and strawberries but wasn’t keen.
He had milk before bed.
I generally offer a variety of foods, try to avoid upf’s. Sometimes he will eat fruit before savoury etc.
Sometimes it also helps to make a smiley face or something like that with the food.
Things will improve, go easy on yourself, I know how hard it is, I have been in tears over my child’s eating habits before now.