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Parenting

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Leaving 9m and 3y for 5 nights?

8 replies

spsignups · 17/04/2026 06:50

Hello! I am in a unique situation and really struggling to make a decision as I feel so conflicted, and wondered if anybody could help.

My partner and I have two sons; aged 9 months and almost 3 years. We are due to get married this August so had planned to do a 3 night Italy honeymoon in September and leave the boys with my mum. However, my partner has since been rewarded an all expenses paid 5* Caribbean trip worth £20k+ for himself and I in June. This feels like the perfect opportunity to have an early honeymoon in a resort that we would never be able to afford ourselves, consequently freeing up our honeymoon allowance to take our boys on a trip to Disneyland in September. My son is absolutely obsessed with all things Disney and this would be a dream come true for him!

I am NOT usually a mum who leaves her children to do anything. I have never left my baby and have only left my son for the odd night with my mum (and always miss him like crazy), or for four nights when I had a C Section (we were both absolutely fine this time- I was distracted!). I am generally the more anxious type and worry about everything. But equally this trip means a lot to my partner, and I fell pregnant with my first aged 22 and haven’t had a break since! I don’t want to let anxiety get in the way of life experiences but am also terrified of my baby forgetting about me, feeling abandoned, or of something happening to them or me and us being separated.

The arrangement would be that my mother in law comes to our house to house sit with them for two nights, then my mum takes them to her house with the wider family who they know and love for the remaining nights. They are more familiar with my mum than my mother in law but do see her a few times a month.

Am I crazy for considering this given that it goes against my personal feelings? It feels like an exception to the rule and I would never have to do this again. But I worry so much about my babies!

OP posts:
Iocanepowder · 17/04/2026 06:54

Do it! It is essential to have a chance to spend quality time with your partner as well. And to get a break.

When i’ve been away, i’ve always worried more about how the grandparents are coping rather than how the kids are tbh. Kids have been fine.

Shallotsaresmallonions · 17/04/2026 07:00

It sounds amazing, but honestly I would be a bit hesitant to leave the baby for that long, when he hasn't spent a night away from you before.

Could you squeeze in a few practice sleepovers with your mum before June?

GranolaBaker · 17/04/2026 07:03

Do it

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beAsensible1 · 17/04/2026 07:05

Yes do a few practice sleep overs before you go. To get them used to it.

Anneta · 17/04/2026 07:16

Yes do it but spend more time between now & then with your MIL so they can get more used to each other.
We once had a 6 night holiday abroad booked with our baby of 11 months but at the last minute his asthma flared up and the GP advice was that he should not fly. My mum offered to look after him at her house & told us to go. He was absolutely fine. Over the years he had a lovely relationship with his grandparents.
Thus is a fantastic opportunity for you both so just go!

Rocknrollstar · 17/04/2026 07:32

Contrary to what most people on here think, children have to learn to be away from their parents and parents need to learn to be away from their children. My DC stayed with my parents from when they were babies, graduating to aunts and then sleepovers with friends. I always thought it was important that they were used to be left with others just in case we had an emergency and they had to be left. Go and enjoy this wonderful holiday with your partner. The children will be fine.

Iocanepowder · 17/04/2026 08:12

Rocknrollstar · 17/04/2026 07:32

Contrary to what most people on here think, children have to learn to be away from their parents and parents need to learn to be away from their children. My DC stayed with my parents from when they were babies, graduating to aunts and then sleepovers with friends. I always thought it was important that they were used to be left with others just in case we had an emergency and they had to be left. Go and enjoy this wonderful holiday with your partner. The children will be fine.

I would agree with this actually. Both my best friend and I had to spend time/nights away from our babies when they were young due to needing ambulances/surgery while on mat leave.

mindutopia · 17/04/2026 08:15

It isn’t something I could have done because we don’t have any trusted family for help. But it sounds like you do. June and September make no difference in terms of leaving them. I went to Australia for 2 weeks for work when eldest was 16 months and it was great - but she was home with Dh. As it sounds like you have lovely helpful family, that doesn’t sound hugely different as they’ll be well looked after by people you trust.

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