Table manners at 5

[2BarbieOrNot2Barbie]

Following a discussion with other parents recently, I would be interested to get other opinions on what the table manners expectations should be of a 5 year old at the family table (rather than at a restaurant for example).

I’d rather keep my thoughts to myself for now so as to not influence the debate but would be very interested in what people thought the expectations should be and whether school had an effect at all.

I grew up with parents who insisted we finished meals, constantly told us to hold our cutlery correctly, picked on how we were sitting and we couldn’t leave the table til everyone was completely done with eating and talking. My siblings and dreaded mealtimes times and my siblings have a lot of issues around food now. I am right handed but hold my fork in my right hand and knife in my left which I was made to feel guilty about every day.

With my own children, I didn’t want them to dread meal times so we mixed it up. We’d have some meals at the table, some on sofas watching tv, some on the floor on a blanket etc. We taught them how to use cutlery but didn’t go on at them about it and if they chose to eat some of their meal with their hands, that was ok. When we sat at the table they could leave once they had had enough, but they often chose to stay and chat even when they were full and others were still eating. The only thing we were strict about was sitting to eat, but that was for safety. At school they had packed lunch which was didn’t require cutlery. They didn’t eat much as they were keen to get back outside to play.

Who are you even talking to about this? I’ve never in my life discussed how my child eats his food with other parents. Of course a 5 year old will pick some things up with their fingers. I pick up chips with my fingers. Plenty of things are eaten with fingers: chips, corn on the cob, raw veg, breadsticks, sandwiches… We eat tacos once a week and everyone ends up in an absolute state.

Loosen up and stop discussing things like this with other people. It doesn’t matter in the slightest.

Why is it weird to eat chips with a knife and fork? It’s standard in our house. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Should be able to sit still for the duration of the meal, and use a knife and fork. May need help cutting food.

The meal may only last three minutes 😄