Childminder nap schedule ruining bedtime?

[UnsureIsMyMiddleName]

I could really use some advice. On the days Madinah is with the childminder, she wakes between 6–7am, goes there at 9am, has one 1.5–2 hour nap around 1pm, and my husband picks her up at 3pm. When I get home at 6:30pm, she’s really difficult to put to bed, and she’s been waking 2–3 times a night pretty consistently.

On the days she’s with me, she has two naps and goes down much more easily at bedtime.

Does anyone know why this might be happening, or what I could tweak to make bedtime more consistent (and hopefully reduce the night wakings)? 🤯

How old is she? What time are you trying to put her to bed after the childminders?

How old is she? It’s fairly usual for a childminder to have one nap time for all kids, as otherwise they can’t do activities and outings.

She's 15 months old

Of course she still needs a nap at that age.

What time and length are the 2 naps she has with you?

1 nap would definitely be the norm at that age, think they'd struggle to get anything done if the did 2 naps for you, plus 1 in-between for others. Can you try 1 nap a day the other days to get her onto that schedule? Though normally I'd expect easier bedtime on 1 nap!

What time are you trying to put her to bed after the childminders?

1 nap is normal for that age maybe it needs to be at 12 but not much else needs tweaking

Move bedtime back a bit. If she is sleeping 1-3pm then no she won’t be tired for a 6:30 bedtime, and 6:30 is on the early side anyway. You could ask for nap to be capped at 1.5 hours so always awake by 2:30 and then do bedtime at 7:30 rather than 6:30 so then the wake windows are pretty even. 6 hrs wake up - nap, then 5 hours between nap & bedtime.

Is it just because that's what suits your child minder? All our local minders had very set routines around school pick up and drop offs, toddler groups etc and said our babies naps would need to fit around their schedules. Whereas the nursery had a dedicated baby sleep room where they could stick to their usual nap schedule.

I nap at that age is normal

I always wake by 3pm latest so have 4hrs before bed for 7pm

so sounds like what cm does

what times does she sleep with you @UnsureIsMyMiddleName?

I’d say a 1pm nap is really late! They try for around 11:30/12 round here.

That said, a 6:30 bedtime is on the early side too. I’d start by pushing that back to around 7:30?

I've tried many different times between 6:45-8, none of it makes it easier.

Yes exactly this

I think going to bed at 8-8:30 is fine if you’ve been at work all day presumably you’d like to see her for a bit before bed anyway?

Morning one is 45min-1hour, afternoon one is 1hr-1hr 30min

She has 3.5-4hour wake windows with me

My DS still had 2 naps at that age.. however your DD is getting to the age where she will be moving to 1 nap soon anyway, so I think it’s probably okay to have 1 nap on some days.

It could be that she is more clingy / difficult to put down on the childminder days because she has been away from you all day, and then she is going to bed soon quite soon after you get home. Not that there is anything you can do about that - just worth considering it might be something other than the nap schedule.

You need to choose one time. I would say 7.30 and stick to it for two weeks. Struging to go to sleep maybe nothing to do with nap time and be a reaction to being away from you.

Did you read the OP properly?

Tho if she’s awake by 230/3 as dh collects at 3. That’s 3.5/4 till 630/7 bedtime so ……..

Yes but she struggles even though it's not a problem on the days she with me. Also she's up by 6:30-7am and awake until 1pm which is over six hours. That is NEVER possible when she's with me

When she's with me there are days she wakes from her second nap at 5pm and she still manages to go to sleep easily by 8:30pm. I just can't believe how long she is able to stay awake on the days she's been with the childminder because it's wildly different on the days she's with me.

I think it's because I breastfeed her to sleep for her naps whereas the childminder obv cant do that

I did think this but I worry about if she's getting enough sleep if going to sleep that late when she's waking up at least twice in the night for a feed and is getting up for the day at 6-6:30am.