Moving my five-year-old to a new school after reception - mum guilt!

[Jam8]

Hi everyone,

Im just looking for people experiences or maybe ways to reassure me.

My daughter is 5, started reception in September and has settled in great and is very bright. My husband has been given a new opportunity for a job which means moving (only around half an hour or so). This also means we will be moving her school after the summer holidays. Whilst I know it is the right thing job wise, the mum guilt is eating away at me. I feel awful at the idea of moving her away from friends and her having to start a fresh.

Has anyone been through this before and can give me some advice!

I was thinking something similar. I had to reread the OP again to make sure I'd not missed something. Lots of people have a commute longer than this and don't move, it seems extremely drastic to uproot your whole family for the sake of such a minor commute.

It makes sense if the current house is 'tied" . A family member works for an organisation allied to the military. While working at one base he was able to rent a surplus property that was not required by another employee. But when he transferred to another site about 30 minutes drive away, he had to give up the property because he no longer worked at the original location. He snd his famil went into a private rental so they could get stability and avoid another move a few years later.

So you’re going to uproot your child and move her schools when she’s only just settled in for a job that’s 30 mins away? Why on earth can’t your husband just add 30 mins to his commute? Surely your child takes priority over not wanting a slightly longer commute! 30 mins is hardly far….

As a former teacher, I absolutely wouldn’t move a happy child unless absolutely necessary. This doesn’t seem necessary.

It’s only a half hour commute so I would stick with the house and school you already have. 1 hour of commuting a day is normal.

My DD moved at exactly the same age because we moved house, she was absolutely fine. Settled in no problem in the new school.
They really are very adaptable at that age so it’s better just to do it now than to leave her and decide the commute is too much at a later date and end up needing to move then

My youngest is in year 1, they had 3 or 4 new people join in September and all seem to have settled in well and they kids don’t consider them new or different any more.

My eldest is in year 5 and had two kids join in year 1 who also settled in well and you’d never guess who in the class were the late joiners.

As long as she doesn’t seem really worried then you shouldn’t be either, kids often love the chance to make new friends.

What is the reason for needing to move half an hour away for the job? I applied for a job that’s about 45 minutes away the other week and moving house hasn’t crossed my mind.

I moved dc1 school after Easter in reception, and she adapted very quickly, it will be fine. Best age to do it in my view.

As a former teacher, I absolutely wouldn’t move a happy child unless absolutely necessary. This doesn’t seem necessary.

Well, you don't know whether it is or not, because OP hasn't said what the job is or why they're moving.

This is the second or third thread I've read in the last couple of days where posters get hung up on a question the OP didn't actually ask.

As pps have said, for a 30 minute commute I would stay put in your current house and current school. What is your commute now? I'd have thought 30 mins is below average tbh!

We moved our ‘happy’ child in year 2 and she was fine. Actually thrived from the experience I would say.

I do echo what people have said about a school place though. People move just assuming they can rock up to the nearest school and get a place, and then they get a big shock when they can’t.

Not only do I remember them, my two best friends from reception are my two best friends today. Stayed friends with another few all the way through until we left secondary school and still keep in contact with them too. My brother is also still best friends with his primary school best friends. Don’t dismiss primary school friendships. Growing up together can be one of the closest bonding experiences friends can have.

I also bumped into my Reception teacher in the pub a few weeks ago, we both recognised and remembered each other and spoke.

Children are very adaptable.
better to move her closer to get new home so she’ll have friends closed to where she lives. Otherwise do you then send to a faraway secondary school so she never has to change friends

We moved 30 mins away and I kept son in same school. We did only have 2 years of commute though

Why can’t your husband commute?

In my dc's class we had quite a few children change at the end of reception. All slotted in well and the leaving children were barely remembered after a few weeks.

One small point-yr1 is completely different to reception in style. Less play and a bit more formal teaching so make sure your DC is aware of this and doesn't think the old school is much more fun than the new one !

If you’re only moving 30 min down the road surely the new job is commutable from where you are. I personally think any commute within an hour each way is reasonable to avoid moving. We moved with kids two years ago (4 hours away though) and- let me tell you - its not worth it for just 30min away.

If you are moving house then yes, move school. Your dd will be absolutely fine.

I moved schools at the age of 7 and it was no problem at all, I can barely remember my previous primary school. My children also moved schools at age 6 and 8 and again no problems. Children tend to make friends quite easily at that age. I always said I would never move my children once they started secondary school though.

I moved at that age, hundreds of miles. I was very happy in my new school and made lots of friends, but I still remember the sadness of leaving!