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Original poster

Will attending his dad's wedding on a school day count as absence and result in a fine?

117 replies

Saralocky28 · 15/04/2026 13:41

My sons dad is getting married in a month and it falls on a school day. If I send an absence form into school I'm guessing it will be authorized but does this still count as a day they use against you if you've taken them out for family holidays?

We've just returned from holiday and DS had 2 missed school days unauthorized but they were aware it was for a holiday.

Do I just say he's sick as it's one day? We are planning taking him out 2 days in October too for a family trip. So if we include all of these he will have missed 10 sessions. Likely will result in a fine.....

Not sure whether to be fully honest or not as I feel you have to work the school system these days!

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BlueRedCat · 16/04/2026 07:59

BuildbyNumbere · 16/04/2026 07:29

It matches the attitude of the school in terms of the number of holidays, teachers training days and early finish Fridays!!

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But surely all that is set by the government? There are a certain amount of school hours that schools have to teach and then the schools organise how they choose. Why are you making out that somehow the schools are being lazy?

one local school has early finish Fridays but they do 8.30-4 on the other days. They do the same hours as another school finishing at 3pm on all the days. What’s wrong with that?

BuildbyNumbere · 16/04/2026 08:00

Nojudginghere · 16/04/2026 07:42

The number of holidays are not controlled by schools. When teacher training days were introduced they were taken out of the existing school holidays - children now have the exact same number of days in school as they did before teacher training days were a thing - the difference is that 5 of those days are now spread through the year, rather than attached to the summer holiday. I work in a primary school and we never have Friday afternoons off, so can’t comment on schools that do.

in response to the OP question, a day for a family wedding would count as an authorised absence where I work, and even if it didn’t in a different school the total of all 6 sessions would still hit the 10 that would trigger a fine.

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Teachers training days = extra day off for teachers?!?! Then moan that parents take the kids out while still banging on about kids falling behind after Covid, then … oh look another half term or “training day” before you know it!! Parents told to set an example about how important school is but maybe schools should do the same!!

BuildbyNumbere · 16/04/2026 08:02

BlueRedCat · 16/04/2026 07:59

But surely all that is set by the government? There are a certain amount of school hours that schools have to teach and then the schools organise how they choose. Why are you making out that somehow the schools are being lazy?

one local school has early finish Fridays but they do 8.30-4 on the other days. They do the same hours as another school finishing at 3pm on all the days. What’s wrong with that?

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Well ours don’t … and I’m pretty sure schools / the teaching associations have input into the government decisions regards school days and holidays!

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Morepositivemum · 16/04/2026 08:11

Definitely tell the truth, he’ll burst not being able to say/ mention
it/ talk about it (once told the school the kids would be off for a day as their cousins were over and the teacher said he’d told them weeks ago!!!)

Original poster
Saralocky28 · 16/04/2026 08:11

I love how a simple question turns me into a bad parent and I'm apparently moaning at his father getting married. Definitely not true on either of those.

I don't actually want to lie, so I'll do it the proper way and send the form in. I was simply asking for some experiences regarding authorisation and fines.

Why I may choose to have my son off school out of the holidays is for quite good reasons and its happened once in 5 years! He is neurodivergent and struggles going to Jam packed resorts or hotels and as much as we try to mitigate this and mainly do go in the holidays when we can afford. We have found a lovely resort we've just been to which was for 5 nights and required 2 missed school days but he was thriving and had tonnes of fun and we had amazing quality time together.

Unfortunately we've had some really horrible experiences going in the height of school holidays and of course I want my son to have the best education but I also encourage memories with me and doing activities and trips which aren't nesssarily things that can be taught at school.

I'm very well aware we have 13 weeks holidays and it must also be a real privilege to afford to take your kids on holiday in the school holidays. For the most part I'm ok with that, however I do feel he has missed out.

Thanks all for your responses, very helpful.

OP posts:
ThatFairy · 16/04/2026 08:14

I don't think you're a bad parent at all, ignore them x

Lomonald · 16/04/2026 08:15

I think what people are saying is you had him off for your own good reasons without worry, but not for a family occasion, you seem to have put things into compartments.

EtA I don't think you are a bad parent either,

saraclara · 16/04/2026 08:16

BuildbyNumbere · 16/04/2026 08:00

Teachers training days = extra day off for teachers?!?! Then moan that parents take the kids out while still banging on about kids falling behind after Covid, then … oh look another half term or “training day” before you know it!! Parents told to set an example about how important school is but maybe schools should do the same!!

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What a poorly informed rant.

The number of days that children spend in school has not changed in decades. They get 195 days of schooling and that's been the case since well before training days were part of the calendar.

Pre- training days, the main holidays were five days longer than they are now. But that portion of the holiday allowance was given to headteachers to put into their calendars to facilitate teacher training and to manage the availability of the trainers that they needed to book.

The teachers lost five days of holiday, the children did not get extra days off. And the decision was the government's, not schools.

Original poster
Saralocky28 · 16/04/2026 08:20

Lomonald · 16/04/2026 08:15

I think what people are saying is you had him off for your own good reasons without worry, but not for a family occasion, you seem to have put things into compartments.

EtA I don't think you are a bad parent either,

Edited

But he will be off for the family occasion. I'm trying to gage if usually it's authorised and subsequently goes into the days accrued to be fined or not. Regardless of this he will be going and that's why I was asking because we do want to potentially go away in October but obviously if we likely get a fine then I probably won't.

I was looking for some experience of authorised/unauthorised relating to family weddings.

OP posts:
Mamabear487 · 16/04/2026 08:31

They will probably approve the day. We
got married last year abroad and I took my kids out of primary for 6 days. They authorised 3 of the 6 days as it was our wedding (other 3 went down as unauthorised). I then took them out for 2 days at Xmas to go away so 5 days in total not approved but because it was over 10 weeks between them they don’t fine you and count as separate days off. If I took them out the 5 unauthorised days within the 10 weeks I would have got a fine.

JanBlues2026 · 16/04/2026 08:31

I’m pretty sure ours is 10 sessions (5 days) in a rolling year

Barrenfieldoffucks · 16/04/2026 08:31

No one is saying you're a bad parent...just that it won't be the wedding that 'tips you over'...it will be the repeated holiday absences.

AngryHerring · 16/04/2026 08:33

Lizchapman · 15/04/2026 20:17

But as someone with parental responsibility she will still be fined

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and she can pass it on to the dad.

SuziQuinto · 16/04/2026 08:37

As pp have said, it'll be authorised and will be perfectly fine. No issue.
Don't lie. People always suggest lying on here, it's terrible advice.

SuziQuinto · 16/04/2026 08:39

Saralocky28 · 16/04/2026 08:20

But he will be off for the family occasion. I'm trying to gage if usually it's authorised and subsequently goes into the days accrued to be fined or not. Regardless of this he will be going and that's why I was asking because we do want to potentially go away in October but obviously if we likely get a fine then I probably won't.

I was looking for some experience of authorised/unauthorised relating to family weddings.

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It'll be ok. Just be honest. One day for his dad's wedding isn't a problem.

Laura95167 · 16/04/2026 08:41

Surely his dad should decide what HE will do with the school

BlueRedCat · 16/04/2026 08:45

BuildbyNumbere · 16/04/2026 08:00

Teachers training days = extra day off for teachers?!?! Then moan that parents take the kids out while still banging on about kids falling behind after Covid, then … oh look another half term or “training day” before you know it!! Parents told to set an example about how important school is but maybe schools should do the same!!

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But those days are not factored into the government mandated teaching hours. Your child will get the required teaching time. Any extra days the teachers have to work for inset days don’t affect that.

Mh67 · 16/04/2026 08:53

Schools are awful. My son got married on a Friday and I worked term time. I had to fight to get the day off

usedtobeaylis · 16/04/2026 08:54

Some people really get bent out of shape over fuck all.

I hope your wee one enjoyed the holiday, will enjoy the wedding, and will enjoy the next holiday.

80smonster · 16/04/2026 08:55

You would be rightfully fined. You can ask for them to authorise the absence. Why does a parent have to get married on a school day? Says more about the parent than the school.

Feelingworried26 · 16/04/2026 09:01

MeatyMagda · 16/04/2026 07:26

What’s wrong with getting married on a week day?

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If you have a child who will be in trouble (or his parent will) for missing school and you could get married on a weekend or holiday, there is something wrong , surely?

Feelingworried26 · 16/04/2026 09:03

Mh67 · 16/04/2026 08:53

Schools are awful. My son got married on a Friday and I worked term time. I had to fight to get the day off

But is that not inconsiderate of your son to make everyone take a day off work even if as in your case it is really difficult?

SuziQuinto · 16/04/2026 09:08

Feelingworried26 · 16/04/2026 09:03

But is that not inconsiderate of your son to make everyone take a day off work even if as in your case it is really difficult?

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Yes, he must have known how difficult it would be.

Lomonald · 16/04/2026 09:10

Saralocky28 · 16/04/2026 08:20

But he will be off for the family occasion. I'm trying to gage if usually it's authorised and subsequently goes into the days accrued to be fined or not. Regardless of this he will be going and that's why I was asking because we do want to potentially go away in October but obviously if we likely get a fine then I probably won't.

I was looking for some experience of authorised/unauthorised relating to family weddings.

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I honestly don't think any one can tell you that it will be up to the school really, 1 unauthorised isn't going to do any harm really .

Wowwhataworld · 16/04/2026 09:14

I am a teacher although in Scotland so we don’t have any fines. I work part time and keep my daughter off school for the odd day eg a Christmas trip or a long weekend. She misses about 2 days through this, 3 being the max, however nothing at school will ever match the memories made with her family. I don’t agree with taking the full 1-2 weeks off for a holiday but a couple of days will not kill them and the memories will last forever.