At what age should boys stop weeing on the toilet seat?

[ItsSunnyTodayAgain]

Need some advice from other boy parents please on something that is driving me mad!
At what age should I expect my boys to stop peeing all over the toilet seat, or be able to clean it up if they do? I have two boys 9 and 11 and multiple times per day they pee over the toilet seat despite me and DH talking to them about it and gently reminding them. Will this ever end?!

Mine sits to wee.

I've also taught him to wipe after a wee.

Being a single parent to a boy child has made me realise how gross most adult men are, pissing on seats and dripping into their pants. No thank you.

@Chunkychips23 That’s disgraceful. Why do you allow it?

DH handles it and makes him go back in and clean the toilet seat. He’s not my son and he’s a grown man, so can’t exactly go in there and supervise him urinating! It’s something his parents should have dealt with years ago. He’s lazy and just doesn’t care. So it’s not something ‘I allow’

Absolutely disgusting that boys ( over toddler age) and men are peeing all over the seat and floor, necessitating mopping up and disinfecting. Why the hell are they not able to aim properly ? Luckily my husband does sit down by his own choice, but I imagine a lot of men, particularly the older ones, are causing a lot of mess and expecting others to clean it up. Not in my house!

My big two are too old for me to remember but ds3 is 6, when he started standing up to wee I was super strict about him cleaning any spills so it’s rare that I find wee on the seat now and if I do I’ll call him to wipe it no matter how long since he’s gone.
when I say strict obvs I’m not mean, I explained why it’s unpleasant/shouldn’t be someone else’s job etc but I do gently hold him to account every time.

Mine has never weed all over the toilet seat. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Surely, they sit down until they can stand with the seat up and not make a mess. Dh sits down sometimes so standing to wee is not compulsory for men.

Mine have always sat down to pee. You teach them to leave the toilet as they found it, clean, no skid marks, nothing on the seat. It is their mess and they clean it up. Mine close the lid, flush, wait, lift the lid and check. That is what soap and water is for, cleaning their hands after dealing with their own bodily fluids.

If they do it at home they will be pissing all over any toilet in another house. Playdates must be awful for whoever they visit. Also no gentle reminding point out how disgusting it is, ask if they would sit in someone else's wee at school?

Thankfully DS8 sits down to pee and either me or his dad ever felt the pressure to teach him to stand up. Is retraining them to sit and pee possible?

I have this issue with my two boys, I didn’t even know people told their boys to sit down to pee, try telling that to teenagers! Bit late now and didn’t realise people told their sons to do that. I make them clean it every time but it gets hard when you have two and both deny it

They must know they’re peeing on the seat and floor , how can they think it’s acceptable? Do they just think it’s someone else’s job to clean up? Dirty gits!

Surely they lift the seat to wee? Or sit down?
I’ve taught mine to do that since they transitioned from the potty to the toilet so around 2 years old. I’d be understanding of the occasional unnoticed miss from a toddler or preschooler but any older than 4 then they should be cleaning it up themselves. They can’t just piss all over the toilets at school, friends houses, restaurants etc. and leave it, and the training begins at home.

Drop a table tennis ball in the toilet for them to aim at.
Worked for my DS, he’s 10 now and never a stray splash.

Mine are expected to clean the bathroom - I think that helped their aim enormously!

age 6/7 I would say old enough not to make a mess and clean up after themselves if they do.

Yes this is exactly what happens for us too

Well my 53 year old man-child has just about grasped it! Haha!

In all seriousness, our boozy child free years, he was awful. Since we’ve had a daughter he’s still very bad but cleans up (of sorts) after himself. He’s even better since teaching our 7YO etiquette.

both the males in my home seem to get it all round the back of the toilets, the walls next to and the floor - as evidenced by the cleaning cloths, however, they both do wipe the toilet seats after themselves and my son has been great at cleaning up after himself since age 5.

I'm a teacher, the boys toilets are always grim. The men’s toilets are always grim. Is it something they truly master? I feel like they should!

Stop with the 'gentle reminding', ffs.

March into the bathroom every time they use it and make them clean every single drop of pee off the loo (and walls and floor too if they splash or miss entirely).

Your husband needs to do this too.

When they've got the hang of what a good cleaning involves and what a good result looks like, put them in charge of cleaning the bathroom daily, one for one whole one week and the other the next. See who wins the fights that will break out when one accuses the other (rightly) of being a filthy pig.

It is not ok to allow your boys to continue to foul the home like this. It's massively disrespectful to you and to your H.

Make them behave.

Put them in charge of daily cleaning, alternating weeks (so seven days on for one, then seven days on for the other).

They will start to deeply resent the filthy habits of the other and begin to police themselves.

Do not let them get away with this!

It is not normal to turn your own home into a midden.

To all those parents here shrugging or wringing hands or even thinking this is something to laugh about - do your job and parent your boys. It is possible and necessary to teach boys to pee into the bowl and to clean up after themselves if they don't. You need to insist on basic respect for themselves and for others; this should be a non negotiable.

Give them something to aim at - table tennis balls work well!

I know grown men that still do 😂

Loos are for sitting on. Urinals are for standing up to pee.

My ExH was late 30’s and still peeing on the seat and floor. Thought it was funny when I nipped to the loo early hours and ended up with wet feet… 🤢 Eldest DS was probably around 8 or 10 when he stopped (or at least cleaned up). Don’t recall youngest DS ever making a mess.

One thing makes them stop pissing everywhere and that’s giving them the job to clean the toilets!! Every single time they have been and piss anywhere except in the toilet you send them back to clean it up PROPERLY!!! Tell them to sit down to pee if they don’t want to wipe piss off everywhere and YES they are far too old to be carrying on doing it now! My boys were both taught the way o have said above and none of them pee anywhere but in the toilet anymore and also have autism too so zero excuse for your kids

This. First poster nailed it. Again.

There is no age young enough for it to be acceptable, so obviously there's no age at which it "becomes" unacceptable. When toilet training boys start with sit-down wees. When the basics pf potty use are covered and they start to start trying to do stand-up wees, the information that getting wee om the seat or anywhere other than in the bowl is unacceptable is repeated regularly long before the child has any expectation of privacy about their toilet use. They continue with sit-down wees until they can aim straight.

Every time wee is left on the seat, as soon as it is found the child has to stop what they are doing and clean it up. If that means being late to bed or late to school so be it. The more out-of-proportion the consequences of selfish behaviour, the quicker the lesson is learned. Obviously this is more difficult if an older child didn't learn the skill before the younger child reached this point

My 6 year old knows he should clean up if wee over the seat/rim too. Dont get me wrong he will make a mess at times but he will clean it. so id definately be expecting your age kids to do clean up after themselves.