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Parenting

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Playgroup tears and bullying

3 replies

JacobsPrincess · 19/06/2008 13:18

DS loves playgroup and has had 2 sessions a week since Christmass. He has always has been a fairly well behaved boy, and although can be boisterous he never seems to do anything maliciously.
However, recently at Playgroup he's been trying to "get in" with the bigger boys (DS is 3 next week, and loves playing with the 4+ boys). But the bigger boys don't want a little one hanging around, and one actually had my son by the throat before we even went into playgroup .
This boy has hit DS before and thinks nothing of shoving DS out of his way. DS thinks this boy is great and even announced after being semi-strangled "I love JXXXX"
So surprise, surprise, when I collect DS at the end of the session, he's in tears because he's been naughty and told off by playgroup staff for hitting 3 other children. Sorry, I',m in tears myself niow, can't see the keybpoard!
I'm totally for the staff telling DS off, and I've told him off too, but feel totally shit doing it, because I know he's only doing it because that is what he sees bigger boys doing. We've never needed sticker charts or incentive schemes before, but I think the time is coming were we'll have to really reward the good behaviour we've taken for granted, just because of the bad behaviour of other chd.
With small chd, it's a case of Monkey see, Monkey do and I'm seriously contemplating taking DS out of playgroup until Sept and these bigger boys have gone to school. Don't want to, because DS loves it and DS2 due V soon and I need the time myself. But what can I do?

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JacobsPrincess · 19/06/2008 13:20

PS
We don't smack at home, we've never needed to. We discipline by taking toys or priviledges away.
DS has seen a close friend smack her son, and was fascinated by it. Should I ask her not to do it in front of DS again?

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KatieDD · 20/06/2008 19:28

I don't think you can ask a friend that tbh, it's her child, but if it was me I would try again in September, there's only a few weeks of term left and it sounds as though it's not much fun for either of you anyway.
I spent a lot of my time in soft play barns when pregnant as you can watch but be sat with a coffee whilst he burns energy.

JacobsPrincess · 21/06/2008 19:01

The soft play places around here cost a fortune (£7 a session + charge for the adult too!) and DS really loves the interaction with other (non-agressive!) children. I think I'm just going to have to warn DS away from the "bigger boys".

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