Looking for positive only child experiences for my one-year-old daughter

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I have a daughter (age 1) who is the absolute love of my life and I feel so grateful to have her. It was a very long and expensive road for us up to her birth and to me she is all I ever need.

However recently the realisation that she is likely to be an only child has hit me for her more than me. She has lots of cousins but I have this deep sense that you can never truly penetrate a sibling bond and she will always be slightly on the outside of them.
I feel sad she might never have siblings to be excited on Christmas morning with or make up silly games in the holidays or play with on holiday. And I also have this intrusive anxiety that she might be left alone one day.
I would love to hear happy positive only child stories and experiences to get me out of my funk!

TIA

It is something you think about… DS is 5 now, we never planned on having more.

I don’t worry much (in general) but we are older parents. And DS has asked for a brother!

We are lucky that Granny & Grandad are very close to him. Cousins are very important!

If your child is outgoing, encourage it. I’ve never once considered “stranger danger”.

He loves meeting other kids (and adults). He isn’t shy at all, and has lots of friends.

It's something I think about sometimes. DD is 7 now. I'm an only child and, as yet, my SIL does not have children so DD doesn't have any cousins.

We do have a lot of close friends and kids of a similar age though (+/- 3 years) as well as new babies still coming along. DH and I have 6 Goddaughters between us.

I was very happy as an only child and although I am curious about sibling relationships, I don't feel that I missed out. If anything I was afforded opportunities that wouldn't have been possible if I'd had siblings.

I am aware that there will be an increasing burden with regards to aging parents but I'm lucky to have a very supportive husband so I know I won't have to do it alone.

Overall, whilst siblings may bring something extra to DD's life, there are other things she will gain from not having siblings.

Thank you both of you!! I do also think about all the opportunities we will hopefully be able to give her because she is an only child and we will definitely work really hard to make sure she is close to her cousins. Fortunately (while only one) she does seem to be very sociable so we will also encourage that of course.

I think it might just be a phase I am in, I know 13 babies being born this year! Some are second children and so I think I am just thinking about it a lot.

There have been a few (unintentional) comments recently by my SIL about how their children are such a team and so lucky to have each other and while I know that is true for them and not her fault, it has hit home a little. They also like to do Christmas morning alone (completely their right ofc) but just makes me a little sad.

I will move on from this I am sure!

DS is 11. We've asked him if he'd have liked a brother or sister.

It has always been an emphatic no. He sees his friends with siblings and doesn't envy it.

I know quite a few only children who are now adults in their 20s to 50s. They are all really close to their parents, but they treat each other almost as equals, rather than Team Parent and Team Child which is how most of my friends with siblings seem to relate to their parents (they love their parents very much, but tend to be closer to their siblings than to their parents). One of the only children that I know has quite a few cousins and is extremely close with them, like siblings, despite the fact they have always lived thousands of miles away. I think this person's parents encouraged the cousins' relationship when they were children and my friend continued to put the effort in and visited regularly as an adult.

Anyway, all the only children I know are confident and sociable, in happy relationships and with plenty of friends. None are selfish or any of the other stereotypes often associated with only children.

We've got a 6 year old who seems perfectly happy.

The important thing though is that I'm happy. My DH would like another but he respects how I feel. I feel complete and have no urge to have another. My mental health is far better now than it was when I was pregnant and the baby stage. I'd probably cope better this time round but I just don't fancy it and enjoy the balance now.

Your daughter will be fine. Do what's right for you.

I have an only child aged nearly 10 and while he sometimes talks about wanting a sibling it never lasts very long.

As a parent I find it a fantastic balance between my own self and mental health, being fully present for him and also providing him all the material and emotional resources I and my husband can.

It’s the end of the Easter holidays and he’s done a wide range of activities, seen friends, done holiday clubs, his favourite sport, and spent time with his grandparents. Plus he’s had down time at home which he needs and enjoys. His life certainly isn’t smaller for not having a sibling. He may have missed on that bond but there are no guarantees and plenty of adults don’t have a close relationship with their sibling/s.

You can never know whether a sibling would have been a positive thing or not, in childhood or as an adult and I have thought about it a lot whether we made the right decision. Enjoy her and make the most of the undoubtedly easier life that comes with having one. More time for yourself, her and your relationship.

Thank you everyone, all of your responses have really boosted my morale and I will go and put my one girlie to bed a little less anxious about it :)

I have two.

They are my absolute little darlings. I adore them unequivocally. They are funny, kind, sweet, love me and love one another.

But very bluntly, you won’t miss anything by not having another.

I am the only child of an only child.

I am married to an only child.

I am the mother to an only child.

My life (nor that of any other only’s) has been blighted by not having a sibling.

None of us wish we had siblings - rather based on close relationships with friends who do, we are relived we are spared this “bond”.

The idea that siblings will automatically be friends and support each other is simply a game of chance.

Clearly some sibling relationships are brilliant and enriching. But many are not. See the many “golden child” threads or where siblings have vastly different childhood life experiences despite ostentatiously having a shared/equivilant one.

I love being an only and have a fantastic relationship with my parents (as do all the many only’s in my family).

None of us are/have been spoiled in a material sense but have undoubtedly benefited from our family units financial, time and emotional resources having a single outlet.

I honestly get exasperated by the idea that having an only is a selfish choice or that only’s grow up
as spoiled and entitled.

It’s a self serving trope used by some people to justify their own desire to have multiple children (btw have as many children as you can afford and wish/are able, it’s an individual choice).

My DS now 19 has had some challenges in life recently, but nothing to do with being an only.
He's generally a delight; kind, polite, sociable and intelligent.

I have an only dd. Through secondary infertility rather than choice. I worried about it endlessly when dd was small, but she is 20 now, and if I could have my time over again, I would plan it this way next time and ditch the anxiety while I was at it.

DD is wonderful and we are exceptionally close. She is confident, happy, well adjusted and never lonely - she has amazing social skills and will never be short of friends. She doesn't miss what she never had, and she isn't worried about being the only one when we're older because she has seen that having siblings doesn't necessarily make caring for elderly parents any easier!

Mine is an only, not through choice. However she is a fabulous 18 year old who I have a great relationship with. I didn’t find it easy coming to terms with her being an only, and to be honest nor did she. However it’s all worked out and it feels right now. Good luck to you, it’s not easy

We’re one and done by choice; mine is also 1. Occasionally i do feel sad she won’t have siblings but we know we will be much better parenrs to 1 child. Lots of siblings dont get on. Only child families will be the most common family type in the western world in the near future

Not really the same but I was an only child until I was 10 and I was always excited for xmas/holidays/events, loved seeing cousins and friends all the time, I’m sure i probably wondered about Siblings but I don’t remember ever being sad or feeling odd about not having them

I’m the only child of my mum. I said a lot growing up I was glad I never had to share her.she was an amazing mum and person.
as I got older we had some really lovely times just her and me. She would take me on city breaks to look at art and museums.

we weren’t rich but only one child meant a really decent lifestyle with lots of hobbies and holidays.
When we left London we did all the touristy stuff together one last time. Such special memories I loved it.

my DDs didn’t have to share their grandma and she put everything into them.

I see dp still quite desperate for his parents attention, having shared them with 3 siblings.

more than anything it was how much time my mum had for me that was the best thing and we were very close.