Tips on handling preschooler and baby alone on outings

[wishIwasonholiday10]

I’m looking for tips on handling a baby and preschooler alone on outings. I have a 4 month old and an almost 4 year old. DD1 has been at nursery and I haven’t needed to take both out alone much but I’m going to have her at home for an extra day soon. I’m finding it tricky to manage both when out at places like the park as DD1 always wants someone to play with her and often needs help on things at the playground as her motor skills are delayed and DD2 prefers a moving pram. I will get DD2 in a baby carrier but any tips on occupying DD1 if DD2 needs feeding? She is breastfed and feeds still take 20 min other than hoping she gets more efficient soon.

My DGC are a similar age. I know when they go out my DD packs a bag of toys and paper and crayons/a sticker book for DGC1 or feeds DGC2 in a cafe so DGC1 can be eating at the same time.
Your DD1 will get better at playing alone, perhaps asking them to find things like daisies, ladybirds, leaves etc in the park - as long as it’s a small enclosed park. I know my DGC enjoys that.

So I have a smaller age gap between mine but did struggle to juggle both when out and about at first.
I found that having baby in a carrier helped a lot as I then could help my older son play.
You can also get those rocket things that attach to a pram so that it gentle jiggles it which might help you if your baby likes a moving pram.
Also as previously mentioned have snacks - if you’re feeding the baby then give some food to your child at the same time. You could make it fun and put out a little blanket for her. Join in and have some snacks with her too so it feels like you’re still playing with her.

I did a lot of playgroups at that age. Parks were tricky unless there was another adult.
It will get easier as the baby grows up.
Look for parks with dedicated toddler areas even if they require a drive.

I’ve been a lone parent of 3 since my twins were babies - I always just got on with it and got out and about - a few “rules” I set for myself was fenced playgrounds, feed twins first or take a made up bottle each - bright clothing for easy spotting of my child(ren) and plenty of bribes to get them to leave when I wanted them to. Twins parked in pram whilst I helped eldest on swings etc (similar age to yours)

I think most people find the activity that they find easiest. I don’t think I took both children that often to the park alone when they were a similar age but went with friends sometimes. We went to lots of playgroups (I preferred church hall/ community centre ones). It does get easier, and by the time your baby is 6 months feeds and stuff will be easier and the park not so hard.

If you’re walking any distance, bring a buggy so you have somewhere for the preschooler to sit and rest. Do you have a double, or a pram that can convert? It can be easier to lift out the baby, and strap in the heavier one than cajole an exhausted pre schooler home.

If you're travelling by car, always strap the older child in first. Babies can’t run away! Sometimes our instinct is to look after the smallest one first but this is one case where it’s the other way round.

Before, or on the way to the outing, tell the story of what you’re going to do, how nicely she’ll behave in precise detail (holding your hand, etc) and how pleased you’re going to be about it. Tell the story of how good she was on the way home too, it’s a great way to communicate your expectations and children thrive on praise.

We always played the high five game out and about: if I held up my palm, they had to run over and high five me. Sometimes I gave a choc button, but also lots of giggles and praise. It was a foolproof way of getting them to come back from a distance.

Activities need to be on your terms! Scavenger hunting is a great activity - you say “find me a leaf” and they run off and come back, doing much more exercise than you do. Count how long it takes to run to a bench and back and then have them try and beat their time. These are great activities when you need to stop and deal with the little one.

A sling for the younger one can be a game changer if you haven’t tried that. You can breast feed discreetly in one- even walking about.

You do have to grow a thick skin to a bit of whining. If you have to give one your attention, the other will whinge. That’s ok, especially when you need to prioritise safety,

Give a 5 minute warning but phrase it positively “we have 5 more minutes so go play on your favourite things”. And when it’s time to go, say “have a go on your last thing and meet me at the gate” and start to pack up and walk away. Dc are primed to want your attention, and will follow.

Give a drink when they’re in the car, or strapped in the buggy heading home.

Bring snacks, water, etc so you don’t set precedents of buying sweets/icecreams. By all means go out for those things but make an occasion of it, or you’ll be battling inflated expectations every time you leave the house!

Finally (I should have said this first), get everyone dressed when they get up, yourself included, so that going out isn’t a mountain to climb. It can be such a sanity saver to just head outdoors for a while and run off some energy. But if you have to get everyone dressed first, it will defeat you on those days when you just need a quick fix.

Hope there’s something useful in all that.

I remember the first time I took my youngest two out alone, we went to the library and I left after about 3 minutes, all three of us stressed and crying 🙃

Now they are 3 and 6 months and though still hard I am getting more used to it - eg at the park I would just park the baby up next to the swings while I push the 3 year old, he’s happy enough watching what’s going on. If I need movement to stop baby crying/get him to sleep I’ll tell 3 year old we’re bringing the bike to the park and ‘chase’ him with the pram.

My youngest was/is a proper whingebag compared to my other 2 as babies but he is getting a lot better - 4 months was particularly bad. It gets easier I promise.

I just had that experience for the first time today. I somehow breastfed DD while following DS around the park. Pushed him on the swing with one arm. It’s amazing what you can actually do when you have no choice.

I just had that experience for the first time today. I somehow breastfed DD while following DS around the park. Pushed him on the swing with one arm. It’s amazing what you can actually do when you have no choice

This. You just get on with it and find out what works for you. Don't go anywhere you don't feel comfortable with. We used to go to parks, as far away from traffic as possible and carry snacks everywhere. My eldest was 23 months when the 2nd one was born. I used to carry a scarf to loop over the handlebars of his balance bike to tow him uphill or keep him under control if we were near traffic, with one hand pushing the pram with the other hand. It feels like forever while you're in that phase, but it actually passes pretty fast.

Breastfeeding in the sling was a total game changer for me. Embrace being a human kangaroo and just latch baby on wherever.

There's nothing like strolling round the supermarket doing a shop, whilst baby feeds and you've got toddler in a trolley to make you feel like you're bossing it! Happy baby, happy toddler, so happy (ridiculously multitasking) mum!