Should I pause potty training if my 2.5-year-old seems unready?

[TeacherMumLife]

My son is 2.5 and we begun seriously potty training today...it has been a disaster! He seems to be weeing little and often, leading to a lot of accidents. I had planned to sit him on the potty/toilet every 30 minutes, but he's done that many little wees that I haven't even had chance to get to that point because I've been putting him on the toilet every time one of these little wees has happened! The only poo he has done all day was in his nappy when he went for his nap.

His understanding of language is excellent, I know he understands me when I'm telling him to do his wees and poos in the toilet, but it isn't making a difference. He almost doesn't realise he's doing a wee. He's very reluctant to sit on the toilet, leading to tears or quite aggressive tantrums, which is why I'm starting to think we need to press pause on this for a while.

I don't want to give up too early and I'm feeling the pressure from certain family members that we should persevere, but equally I don't want to distress him or set him back if he just isn't ready. Should he be ready by 2.5? I'm a first time mum so I really have no idea!

Thanks :)

One day is no time at all. He may not realise... or it may be that it has never previously mattered.

Some people will no doubt disagree but I would introduce chocolate buttons, Smarties or whatever his treat of choice is before giving up entirely. Both of my two were entirely motivated by buttons.

It’s very early days. I’d maybe try again tomorrow. But if he’s still not getting it or seems upset or afraid then it’s absolutely fine to pause it. I tried with both of mine at about 2.5, it’s was stressful and upsetting for all of us. Revisited again when they turned 3 and both cracked it within a few days, minimal accidents and overall very easy. I would much rather wait and make the process easier for everyone rather than force it.

There is a lot of judgement regarding ‘late’ potty training on MN. My view is that as long as they are reliably done before they start school it’s nobody’s business and it’s perfectly logical to wait a bit if it makes it less stressful.

Did he show signs of readiness before you started? My DS is a similar age and he often says wee and takes himself to sit on the potty (we have one out as we also have an older DC), and also tells us when he’s done a poo in his nappy and needs changing. I wouldn’t start potty training if there’s no signs yet. My dd wasn’t ready until age 3 so we did it later for her.

I would pause, if he’s having lots of little wees he’s probably just not quite ready. You can leave the potty out and try and get him to sit on it every night. A couple of months can make a massive difference to a toddler

I recently potty trained DD, who is two years eight months.

DD knew fine what I wanted her to do but was (for want of a better word) dicking about a lot, refusing to sit on the potty and springing up once I put her on it. It was driving ME potty.

I actually asked ChatGPT for advice and it was very helpful on this subject! Here were the main takeaways:

• Use pull ups if really unsuccessful but continue to offer the potty when she gets up, before leaving the house and before bed.
• If she refuses or starts being silly just calmly say ‘ok, the potty is there when you need it.’
• If using pants and accidents happen just say ‘wee wee (or poo poo) goes in the potty’ and move on.
• praise them but don’t go overboard and praise them ‘listening to their body’ (DD now proudly says ‘I listened to my body!’)

Anyway, it worked and in a week she was fine although we still occasionally have a poo accident.

MN don’t agree but I think potties are much better for two year olds. It’s easier for them to poo on and feels less intimidating. (And you can stick the potty in front of Cocomelon, never done this of course, no never.)

Good luck. I think most of us go through a ‘oh dear god they will go to UNIVERSITY in nappies’ phase and then it clicks!

At 2.5yrs old, he’s ready. Signs of ‘readiness’ are largely a myth. I’d advise against sitting them on the potty at intervals, because it interferes with their ability to recognise the feeling of needing to go, and with their ability to learn to hold it. Similarly, don’t give them more to drink than usual.

Prompting him to get to the potty as soon as he starts to go, or – ideally – you recognising those subtle little tells that lets you know he needs to go, is the best way. Keep him entirely bottomless until he mastered getting to the potty in time – it’s not uncommon for this to take a few days. And then move on to loose joggers. Only when he’s mastered that, onto underwear and then onto short trips out. Move back a step if he can’t master the step forward.

Don’t use pull up – they interfere with the process. Don’t fret about night training for a good while yet.

It can take some time and it’s best to stay home during the process, as annoying as that is.

I've had this literally last week. Showing signs of readiness, telling me when he needs changing (sometimes) so thought we'd crack it in the Easter holidays. He's 3 in June so a little older than yours but the same issue, just loads of mini wees and there's no chance to get him to the potty as by the time it's clear he needs to go he's already gone.

I've given it up for now, I'll try again in the next school holidays, and then if he doesn't crack it the next one etc until he does. DS is my second child so it's not completely new to me and my first was trained at 3 as she wasn't ready beforehand

We tried when my son was 2.5 and it wasn’t successful. He just couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of knowing that his bladder was full.
So we paused actual training and instead started off with every morning getting him up and putting him on the potty straight away. So then he got used to using the potty at a time when he most likely had a fully bladder.
Then just before he turned 3 we tried potty training again and it within a day he’d cracked it. He was just so much more aware of his own body and just ready for it.
We also bought a book about potty training which he liked to read and we’d sometimes watch a potty training episode of his favourite tv show. Most shows have some kind of short you tube potty training clip you can use if he has a favourite show or character.
So personally from experience of being in a very similar position to you, I would say wait a bit. Talk about going to the toilet e.g. ‘I need to go and do a wee’ so you’re displaying that awareness of your body that you’re basically trying to get him to get to.

Signs of readiness are hiding to poo, knowing the difference between wet and dry and being able to pull own trousers up and down.

Read up on the oh crap method.