Am I overthinking my children's lack of playdate invitations?

[cpeters2025]

I have three DC, 10DD, 7dd, 4dd. All attend an independent school/nursery which is local & most parents drop their children off/pick up. Class sizes are small but there is a good mix of girls and boys. Since my children started at the school in reception, I have been friendly and invited children on playdates with/without their parents which have always seemed to go pretty well. Kids played nicely and parents were friendly enough. As time goes by, I had hoped my children would be socialising more with friends by now but sadly not. I’m always the one instigating & facilitating the get togethers, other parents don’t offer to have my kids over in return. I do appreciate that families are busy but I do have three kids and work during term time so I’m pretty busy too! Maybe people don’t have time to have kids over like we did back in the day for tea especially if kids go to clubs after school? I do worry that other kids do not like my children :-( Having said that, my kids come out of school saying they’ve played with other children at breaktimes. Am I over thinking this?? Thanks

My experience is that play dates are more limited at independent schools because more children are in after school clubs and tend to live a further distance away.

However, you say neither of these is the case. Are other children having playdates with others? If they aren't, that sounds like parents just don't want to facilitate them. Do your children get invited to parties? With the 10 year old at least, have the children not mentioned anything to their friends (by the time my DC were 10, they were pretty much making their own arrangements in school and I just had to agree the date)?

My middle DD is definitely not part of the core group of girls who all dance, sadly. She’s not into dancing or sports yet and hasn’t really found her people as yet. But her teacher tells me she’s well liked in the class and always playing with children at school.

I think the afterschool/outside of school clubs are a factor. Most kids stay at school late for clubs & then a fair few dance or play sports at the weekend. There are parties that my kids do get invited to.

My eldest has asked to do an activity this holiday with a friend which I am arranging & taking them to. It’s few and far between though. I just get the feeling that alot of the kids don’t have much free time to just….be. It’s all pretty structured. I wonder if things would have been different if we hadn’t taken the independent route.