How to judge travel plans away from young children.

[GolfingGoddess]

I’d be interested in views on which flight you would book in my situation / any experience of leaving children to go abroad and how they found it, especially if it was a longer trip (7d).

I will be travelling abroad in a few weeks time. The outward part of the trip is fixed, and lasts for 3.5 days. I have the option to add on extra days to take a trip with my brother, who is unwell with an incurable illness. He is currently doing well but this is likely to be a life limiting condition, and I want to spend some quality time with him. I haven’t been away with him since before my children were born and it’s not likely that the opportunity will come around again soon (they are 3 and 7).

My challenge is that I’ve never left my children for more than one night, and I’m finding it really hard to decide on the right balance between time with my brother and getting back to them - especially the 3yo, who does tend to miss me when we are apart - though she has good relationships and lots of fun with others too.

My most logical travel options boil down to - 5.5 days away, 1.5 days with brother or 7 days away, 3 days with brother.

It’s in school time, so no option to take kids with me / have them join me there. My brother would also find being with them 24/7 tiring I think, though he does love them very much. They will stay with my husband, who is a great father and will continue in normal school / childminder / hobbies routine, so apart from me not being there, everything will be very normal.

That’s long sorry but wanted to give all info. Would welcome any advice or thoughts!

My children were 3 and 5 when I went away with my sister for a week…she desperately needed the break. My children were absolutely fine with their Daddy.
They were very pleased when I got home ,particularly interested in the gifts 😂

The longer. Your 3 year old will either hate you being away, but assuming you’re otherwise sensible, reassuring parents, will get over it without any long term issues, or they’ll be fine.

Either way, a couple of extra days won’t make them behave or feel any differently.

I’d spend the extra time with your brother. Children don’t really have much of a concept of time so I don’t think it matters much if you’re away 3.5, 5.5 or 7 days to them. You’re just away.

The longer one.

There's every reason to stay longer and spend time with your brother. There is no reason to cut the trip short to get back to your children.

How will you feel away from them? I would really struggle with this because I never do it - max has been 2 nights and that’s only happened twice in DC’s 7.5 years. But I think it’s healthy to be able to do this (DC’s dad has had several work and leisure trips of up to 9 nights away). Your kids will miss you a lot but they’ll also be busy/life as usual for that time. Longer sounds like it would be good for you as long as you can manage that time away.

I will miss them a lot too, definitely. Part of the reason why I’ve never done more than a night without them before is that I prefer it that way! But the time with my brother is really important to me too, especially given his illness, and so if I knew the kids would be fine, I’d choose the longer trip for myself and make the most of seeing him in person, which is very rare now.

Just to say thanks to those that gave advice on this. I booked the longer trip 😊

Absolutely go for as long as possible. I’d go for more than 7 days if you have the time.

I went to Australia for work when my eldest was 16 months and it was weird at first, but wonderful. I had zero regrets about going. I was tearful a few times, but it was fine and Dh and dd had a great time.

I went away for longer on a holiday when DS was 3 (17 days). I made a count down chart where he could cross the days off until I came home. He was actually quite cross with me when I got back but quickly got over it when I got out the pressies I'd got him!